Alright, so I'm a 16-year-old bisexual female. No; I'm not confused, or in a phase and this isn't just a passing thought. I like guys and I like girls; period.
I first came out to my best friend; well I actually meant to come out to my parents first but chickened out and decided to tell her first so yeah. I don't get to see her too often so I decided to do it over facebook messenger. I remember the moments leading up to it my hands were shaking so bad I could barely type; I think I typed the words "im bi" into my computer about 20 times and each time I would delete it, stare at the keyboard and start crying. I'd known for a really long time and felt like it was part of me that I was hiding from the world and it wasn't fair to myself or the people around me. That evening I had tried to tell my parents but every time I began it felt like my vocal chords had disappeared; I just couldn't get any words out. After an hour and a half of failed coming out attempts I gave up and went upstairs to my room which is where I told my best friend. She probably had the best and most reassuring response I could have asked for; when I finally got the words "im bi" out of my computer her response was simple, "yeah okay cool, I had a hunch". I was so relieved I start hysterically laughing and crying at the same time and was basically an emotion wreck for about 15 minutes. After I got over my mass hysteria and I had calmed myself down enough to actually comprehend the English language, we talked and she told me how it didn't matter and how she was still, and always would be, my friend. I'd been carrying around this weight for so long and it literally (if you'll excuse the cheeky cliché) felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders; I had never felt so free in my entire life.
I've known I was bi since grade 5 and I always say that I knew I was bi before I knew what being bi meant. I had always thought you were either gay or straight and I was just going to have to pick one; I literally thought I was the only person in the world who felt the way I did; and it was terrifying. I remember lying in my bed at night trying to decide if I liked guys or girls more and getting extremely flustered when I just couldn't bring myself to pick. In grade 6 I decided I was just going to have to choose and I was going to choose being straight; I started over compensating by putting posters of guys from magazines up on my walls and pointing out every guy who I found remotely attractive to my friends (they probably thought I was a seriously horny kid). That lasted a while but I knew that it just wasn't going to cut it; I couldn't choose, it just wasn't possible. I finally came to terms with my bisexuality around grade 9 and realized that it was okay to like both genders. I think if I had known about bisexuality back in grade 5 it would have been a much better process for coming to terms with my sexuality. It's so important that we educate our children about sexuality and sexual orientation; my life and so many other children and youth in my exact position would have had their lives made so much easier if they had just known.
Being made to feel crazy and isolated is not the best experience in the world and it's so important that we start doing this not only in our schools but in our media. We need to make this information prominent and readily available for our youth so that children and youth out there can feel like they have a place to belong. Just because I felt like I didn't belong doesn't mean that have to as well.