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Lunatic Football Fans Buy Wedding Gifts For Extremely Rich Guy They've Never Met

So that's why the Dow's been going up.

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What an amazingly good month for the stock market. The Dow Jones Industrial Average is at all-time record levels. Is it due to jobs? Increased wages? A HOUSING BOOM?

Ha, nice try, Wall Street nerds. Obviously, it's due to all the disposable income Americans are using to buy Redskins quarterback and soon-to-be-husband Robert Griffin III some wedding gifts!

It was just a couple of weeks ago that The Washington Post's Sarah Kogod uncovered the wedding registry for Griffin and fianceé Rebecca Liddicoat.

Stephen Cohen / Getty Images

And fans — people who he'd never met, who already make him rich through tickets and merchandise purchases and television viewing and whatnot — bought him a bunch of stuff!

Most galling of all? American football fans have bought Robert Griffin III and his future wife exactly ZERO of the eight NewWave Premium Platinum 5-Piece Place Settings that they're hoping for.

A nation in decline, indeed.

via Sarah Kogod