In a stunning free agent move, the New York Yankees have signed star Red Sox outfielder Jacoby Ellsbury to a massive seven-year contract worth somewhere around $153 million, according to multiple reports.
Ellsbury had the 13th-best facial hair on last year's team of bearded World Series champions, so the Sox will have to fill that critical void from somewhere else.
Ellsbury is well-known for his speed atop the Sox lineup, averaging one steal every three games over his career.
The Sox themselves are well-known for being rivals of the Yankees, so Ellsbury's departure MIGHT not go over well in Boston.
Yankees fans could be in luck, though: looking at all of Ellsbury's safely hit balls from the past three seasons, we see the clear majority of his power is to right field.
And as this overlay shows, Yankee Stadium has a tantalizingly close right field area, just 315 feet from home, as compared to Fenway's quirkier and more bulbous dimensions.
The downside for New York is that Ellsbury has been injured frequently in his career and they've just signed him through age 37.
And that the result of most of his flyball and line drive outs to right field last season (indicated by the dark red dots) wouldn't have changed much in a different home park such as Yankee Stadium.
Only one thing is for certain: we'll probably never hear anything ever again about the minor fact that Ellsbury used to play for Boston and now plays for their rivals. New England just doesn't hold grudges like that.