1. Just another lazy fly ball into the stands on Saturday and OH HEY LOOK OUT, IAN DESMOND.
2. Just try to imagine the workers’ comp claim that could’ve resulted.
3. Generally speaking, when you have a fencing saber for a nose, you should be less concerned with catching the foul ball and more so with potentially killing a professional ballplayer.
4. Was Billy the Marlin’s disappointment more to do with missing the ball or MISSING HIS PREY?
5. Hard to tell when your face is incapable of displaying actual human-like emotions.
6. As for his intentions, well, we have our suspicions.
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