The 34th America's Cup wrapped up in the waters of San Francisco Bay two days ago, and maybe you've heard people talking about what happened. "Greatest comeback in sports history" and "cheating" and "Nancy Pelosi" and all that. Issues of national pride are involved — the U.S. defeated New Zealand, but the American crew included several foreigners — which means you'll need to have a strong, semi-informed opinion on it. (USA! USA!) We're here to semi-inform you. What actually went down? Something about big boats, sure, but it's far more interesting than just that. Here's a handy guide to knowing your Oracle from your Emirates and what was perhaps the most exciting few days in the event's 162-year history.