1. Shirts fit
Happiness is: Knowing your size, buying off the rack, never having to try anything on.
2. Bras work
They fit, they support, they look cute, and there’s an abundance of 34-36 B-C on the rack because your boobs are a totally normal, average size and stores stock up just for you.
3. Bikinis look good
You fill them out without making a spectacle of yourself.
4. Nobody pokes fun
You are never confused for a boy. You’ve never been caught stuffing your bra. You’ve never had to suffer at an itty bitty titty committee meeting.
5. You only need one sports bra
As long as it’s made right, you’re good to go.
6. Wearing no bra is totally possible and super sexy
They’re perky and just the right size. But be careful. Going bra-less is your superpower, and with great power comes great responsibility.
7. No back aches
No hunching. No round shoulders. No asking people to crack your back 12 times a day.
8. Lingerie looks awesome on you
You can rock those sexy little things because you fill them out but don’t need any of that “extra support” bullshit.
9. You have the cleavage dreams are made of
Not having enough cleavage is truly unfortunate. But having too much is bad too. You’ve got it just right.
10. You can run and jump
And you look sexy as hell doing it.
11. People don’t ogle
But you still get checked out, because let’s face it, your boobs rock.
12. Being naked is totally cool
Self-conscious about them? Nah, man. You look good.
13. They’re literally the perfect size
Not “too big” for people who prefer small boobs and not “too small” for people who like big boobs. So you’re just going around pleasing everyone, GO YOU.
14. The fit perfectly like, everywhere
In people’s hands, most importantly.
15. There is nothing you can’t wear
Tank tops, bandeaus, halter tops, strapless anything. Wear a hoodie without looking like a dude, and without looking fat! Fill out that sweater like a boss. Rock your morning towel, your boyfriend’s t shirt. Ruffles are okay! Buttons don’t pull! Wear tight stuff, wear loose stuff, do whatever the heck you want!
16. You’ve really got it all
Go forth and let the world bask in your average-chested glory. And remember to thank your mother.
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