Share On facebook Share On facebook Share Share On vk Share On vk Share Share On pinterest Share On pinterest Share On pinterest Share On pinterest Pin Share On lineapp Share On lineapp Share On twitter Share On twitter Share Share On email Share On email Email Share On sms Share On sms Share On whatsapp Share On whatsapp Share On more Share On more More Share On tumblr Share On tumblr Share On link Share On link Share On copy Share On copy Copy Link Share On snapchat Share On snapchat Titanus, Minerva Film Check everything that applies to you: You know what cervicale is... Check You know what cervicale is... ...and you fear it. Check ...and you fear it. You also don't understand why no one else worries about cervicale. Check You also don't understand why no one else worries about cervicale. You took part in a demonstration... Check You took part in a demonstration... ...but you don't remember what it was about. Check ...but you don't remember what it was about. You joined a communist party. Check You joined a communist party. But it was mostly so you could go to a party. Check But it was mostly so you could go to a party. You love food. Check You love food. You love making food. Check You love making food. You love eating food. Check You love eating food. You love talking about food. Check You love talking about food. You love reviewing food. Check You love reviewing food. And you LOVE carbs. Like, really. Check And you LOVE carbs. Like, really. But you also really like vegetables. Check But you also really like vegetables. You are an incredible cook. Check You are an incredible cook. And you've been cooking full meals since you were 10. Check And you've been cooking full meals since you were 10. Your food is better than that of any professional chef. Check Your food is better than that of any professional chef. You don't make pizza. You go for pizza... Check You don't make pizza. You go for pizza... ...on Sunday nights. Check ...on Sunday nights. With your pizza, you drink beer. NEVER wine. Check With your pizza, you drink beer. NEVER wine. And you don't ever get drunk, just a little brillo. Check And you don't ever get drunk, just a little brillo. Probably because you've been drinking wine since elementary school. You know, with the family. Check Probably because you've been drinking wine since elementary school. You know, with the family. You eat a healthy breakfast of caffè and Cornetto. Check You eat a healthy breakfast of caffè and Cornetto. Because only foreigners order espresso. Check Because only foreigners order espresso. And you know how to order the proper caffe: "doppio lungo in vetro senza schiuma." Check And you know how to order the proper caffe: "doppio lungo in vetro senza schiuma." You and your friends regularly debate the merits of caffè versus cappuccino. Check You and your friends regularly debate the merits of caffè versus cappuccino. You NEVER, EVER wear sweatpants in public. Check You NEVER, EVER wear sweatpants in public. You won't even wear them to the gym. (Only once you're IN the gym.) Check You won't even wear them to the gym. (Only once you're IN the gym.) You don't own mom jeans. Check You don't own mom jeans. Your mom doesn't own mom jeans. Check Your mom doesn't own mom jeans. You call your mom every day... Check You call your mom every day... Three times a day. Check Three times a day. You've never had a babysitter — just nonni. Check You've never had a babysitter — just nonni. And you see them all the time. Check And you see them all the time. So it's no big deal if your significant other is not available on Sundays... Check So it's no big deal if your significant other is not available on Sundays... ...because you're never available on Sundays anyway! Check ...because you're never available on Sundays anyway! You know your saint name day. Check You know your saint name day. You have a bidet. Check You have a bidet. And yes, you use it. Check And yes, you use it. You started studying philosophy at age 14. Check You started studying philosophy at age 14. And you often casually throw quotes from Virgilio, Dante, Foscolo, or d'Annunzio into conversations. Check And you often casually throw quotes from Virgilio, Dante, Foscolo, or d'Annunzio into conversations. You can still recite your middle school lessons on the Renaissance. Check You can still recite your middle school lessons on the Renaissance. But middle school was precisely the last time you set a foot in the Sistine Chapel. Check But middle school was precisely the last time you set a foot in the Sistine Chapel. You like quoting Totò. Check You like quoting Totò. You've seen at least one "Natale a..." Check You've seen at least one "Natale a..." You watch San Remo. Check You watch San Remo. You watch Master Chef Italy. Check You watch Master Chef Italy. And you take it as seriously as your squadra del cuore. Check And you take it as seriously as your squadra del cuore. But you only get emotional over soccer... Check But you only get emotional over soccer... ...when your team wins... Check ...when your team wins... ...or when they lose... Check ...or when they lose... ...or whenever they play. Check ...or whenever they play. You complain about the government. Check You complain about the government. You complain about parking. Check You complain about parking. You complain about your neighbor. Check You complain about your neighbor. But you wouldn't say you complain too much. Check But you wouldn't say you complain too much. You've had to wait in lines. Check You've had to wait in lines. So now you know you can just go to the front. Check So now you know you can just go to the front. But they really aren't lines, are they? Check But they really aren't lines, are they? You drive a scooter. Check You drive a scooter. And you drive it wherever you feel like. Check And you drive it wherever you feel like. You always ask for a discount. Check You always ask for a discount. And you get it! Check And you get it! Your doctor is your mother's cousin. Check Your doctor is your mother's cousin. Your lawyer is your father's nephew. Check Your lawyer is your father's nephew. Your architect is your cousin's friend. Check Your architect is your cousin's friend. You love tombola. Check You love tombola. You hate tombola. Check You hate tombola. Yes, you still play tombola. Check Yes, you still play tombola. You hug, kiss, and touch everyone. Check You hug, kiss, and touch everyone. And obviously you expect everyone to hug, kiss, and touch you. Check And obviously you expect everyone to hug, kiss, and touch you. You don't actually trust anyone. Check You don't actually trust anyone. But you can talk about personal issues with strangers on a bus. Check But you can talk about personal issues with strangers on a bus. You speak Italian. Check You speak Italian. Actually, you speak two languages: Italian and dialetto. Check Actually, you speak two languages: Italian and dialetto. Make that three: Italian, dialetto, and gesti. Check Make that three: Italian, dialetto, and gesti. You have no idea why Americans would want to move to Italy full time. Check You have no idea why Americans would want to move to Italy full time. You think Italy is the worst country in the world. Check You think Italy is the worst country in the world. You think Italy is the best country in the world. Check You think Italy is the best country in the world. You know that nothing works. Check You know that nothing works. But you have a solution for everything. Check But you have a solution for everything. You are actually Italian. Check You are actually Italian. Show me my results! 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