12 Gifts College Grads Actually Want

Keep your scrapbooks and charm bracelets, give me the gift of sleep.

1. Booze

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Sorry, not want, need.

2. For everyone to stop asking what they're doing after graduation

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I promise, you'll be the first to know when I figure it out.

3. Sleep

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Forever.

4. Someone to renew their Netflix subscription

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Now that I'm unemployed, I have time to finish Friends! But no money to pay for it!

5. A vacation

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After four years of constant work and stress, no I don't want to jump into a cubicle immediately.

6. Someone to move everything out of their dorm

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I don't wanna pack, I just wanna sleep.

7. An apartment

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No more roommates, no more parents, no more siblings.

8. And a cleaning service for that apartment

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I am DONE picking someone else's hair out of the shower drain.

9. A significant other

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The only thing that sucks more than seeing friends getting engaged on Facebook is having to attend those weddings alone.

10. A diet plan that works

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The freshman fifteen was real. So was the sophomore twenty...

11. A puppy

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Just need one friend who doesn't talk or judge or leave hair in the shower.

12. A job

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I will learn anything you need me to I swear, just help me pay off these loans.