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Pop Culture Nerds Ask Non-Pop Culture Nerds Questions

It turns out there are people who exist that don't know who the Kardashians are.

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Ayla: Australian. Marketing wizard. Jazz singer.

Kristen: Resource manager. Afraid of horses.

Henry: Academic. Celiac.

Paula: Beagle mom.

Tom: Mentor. Gardening enthusiast.

Veronica: Chef. Brazilian.

Brian: Musician. World traveler.

Tyler: Architect. Owns the same pair of shorts in six colors.

Ayla: The other ride sounds a lot safer than a "Tower of Terror."

Kristen: Time heals old wounds.

Tom: Get a grip, people — it's probably the same ride with different wrapping.

Veronica: No changes should be made. There's plenty of room for terror and for space adventures. Both of them handle mystery and the unknown!

Brian: Don’t go on the ride.

Henry: I would think not, unless Miss Swift gave them to her with no stipulations?

Paula: No, totally out of place and did not get permission to say anything.

Tom: It’s really doubtful someone in the public eye would give permission for something that would harm her image.

Brian: Knowing nothing about this incident and having only a vague understanding of the law, I will default to the word "unauthorized" and say, um, no.

Ayla: Is this an awards show beef?

Tom: David Beckham in a wig.

Veronica: I have no idea. But probably somebody who has straight hair without having to straighten it? I feel it can be a criticism, maybe.

Brian: I can't think of anyone famous named Becky, except for that song that went "Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt" or something. And actually I'm not even sure that was a song. Maybe it was on a TV show?

Ayla: If you go in the same one direction for too long, you’re bound to get fatigued and feel the need to change paths. This is normal physics, or maybe it's statistics! One of the science subjects.

Kristen: They want to figure out who they are as individuals instead of the codependent messes they probably really are. Basically, they're no different from every basic bitch just getting out of college and leaving their safe long-term relationship for the sexy unknown world or singledom. They'll try it apart for a while, then come to realize how degrading men on dating apps can be. They'll secretly be texting each other late at night, behind their new music groups' backs while they're in bed together. Maybe they'll even reunite for a song or two here and there before eventually marrying someone else and living their new life, full of regrets.

Henry: They are stumped as to their future musical direction. They have hit a dry spot, creatively speaking...whoever they are and whatever they do.

Tom: I think that means I don’t care.

Brian: One Direction is going in multiple directions.

Brian: Lion? Spider? Or are they tears of joy?

Ayla: I can only imagine it is snakes because me too.

Paula: Koala bear.

Veronica: Don't know who Kristen Bell is, but I'd say a firefly because of Tinkerbell, who looks like one.

Tyler: A dead panda? That’d be sad. Or maybe a pony.

Kristen: His win was due entirely to his belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Meatball, take the wheel.

Paula: It's hard to keep up with celebrities' imaginations.

Brian: Depends on the award. The Nobel Prize for Economics? Who is Sam Smith, and what does he do?

Tyler: That he put a man on the moon.

Kristen: Tits and ass.

Paula: Abs?

Tom: Chest? Nipples?

Veronica: Last time I saw Zac Efron, he was in the Bear Grylls celebrities edition. His body was smoking. He handled all the challenges well.

Brian: Dimples or freckles. I might need to be a teenage girl to answer this question.

Kristen: Penis size — who wore it better?

Paula: OMG! Power and prestige.

Brian: Isn't rivalry a bit of an overstatement? Are they dueling in the streets?

Tyler: A real-estate deal gone bad. Or a land deal. Or maybe a shipping deal.

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