33 Struggles Only Copy Editors Will Understand
I got 99 problems but a serial comma ain't one.
1. You are literally blinded by pain any time you see "is" or "be" lowercased in a title.
2. You're either staunchly for or against the serial comma — nowhere in the middle.
3. You're excited to get an email from a friend you haven't heard from in a while...until you realize it's a presentation, résumé, or application they'd like you to edit.
4. You'd rather skinny-dip through the New York City sewer than subject your eyes to a hyphen after an adverb.
5. You often have to handle very sensitive questions and requests from your colleagues and boss.
6. You evaluate potential mates on their ability to correctly use "fewer" vs. "less than."
7. And you've canceled more than a handful of dates based on red-flag texts.
8. The pain of forsaking proper spelling and/or punctuation in favor of characters in a tweet is one you know all too well.
9. You've alienated a friend or two after correcting their grammar at the dinner table.
10. You silently judge people for not knowing the differences between a hyphen, an en dash, and an em dash.
11. You openly judge people for not knowing the differences between "their," "there," and "they're."
12. An extra space between words jumps out at you like a gap as wide as the Grand Canyon.
13. You know that it's *technically* correct to open an email with a comma after "hey" or "hi" but never do it because "Hi, Kate" looks super creepy.
14. You pray that the Associated Press will one day accept italics as a thing that writers actually use.
15. But you do get inexplicably nostalgic for old AP spellings every now and then, especially the golden days of "Web site."
16. You'd rather condemn yourself to a life of wearing nothing but Justin Bieber T-shirts than read a sentence wherein someone will "try and do something" ever again.
17. Your family and friends think it's a good and/or funny idea to get you books on grammar and usage for birthdays and holidays. And you probably agree.
19. You judge restaurants based on the typos on their menus or websites.
20. You feel guilty whenever you don't use correct grammar in casual spoken conversation.
"Yeah, I'm good! How are you?"