1. There are a minimum of 200 guests — and they’ll all be at the church too.
4. Cocktail hour includes all the antipasto of your wildest dreams.
Ten kinds of olives, a dozen types of cheese, prosciutto, salami, mortadella, stuffed mushrooms, marinated artichokes, calamari…
6. It took the bride and groom roughly three months to figure out seating…
…since Aunt Rose can’t sit next to Aunt Giovanna because they haven’t spoken in 10 years and Uncle Tony still hasn’t paid back the money he borrowed from Cousin Gino.
7. There’s a veil. And it’s super important.
Go on, progressive bride. Go ahead and just try to wear that quirky or trendy dress and skip the veil. Your family isn’t having it.
8. The tarantella will play (at least twice).
9. You’ll hear “Finiculi, Finicula” and “Volare” too.
11. …just in time for her to ask you and all your single siblings/cousins when you’ll be getting married.
13. The maid of honor’s speech includes how she can’t wait to be a godmother.
18. And it probably includes one of these bad boys.
19. You can bet your bottom dollar the wedding cake has cannoli cream lurking somewhere in its layers.
Either that or it’s a tiramisu cake.
20. The espresso machine makes a grander entrance than the bride and groom themselves.
23. Which is likely yet another ceramic knickknack that’ll go on to collect dust in your junk drawer.
24. And if you’re a New York Italian-American, there’s a high chance you’ve had or been to a wedding here…
26. Everyone leaves having had an AWESOME time…because let’s face it: Italians know how to party.
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