1. First stop: MAKEUP AISLE! Pick up some vampy blue lipstick. You are gonna look SO kewl.
2. Realize Mom will NEVER let you out of the house with that on. Settle on a pack of LipSmackers instead — again.
Wind up using just Dr. Pepper and letting the others collect dust.
3. And how about some Naturistics lip balm for some extra gloss?
Hope you’re ready for all your friends to stick their grubby little fingers in here every time you bust this out.
12. Perfume time! You can’t afford the real stuff on your measly allowance, but these will totally smell exactly the same.
Plus, BODY SPRAY > PERFUME, duh. (Except Elizabeth Arden Sunflowers. You can make an exception for Sunflowers.)
22. Brandy, “I Wanna Be Down”?? YESSSS.
24. All your favorite hotties on one cover? Better pick up this issue of ‘Teen too.
25. And how about the year-end issue of Twist so you can PLAN THE ENTIRE NEXT YEAR BASED ON YOUR HOROSCOPE! Just need to find out what sign your crush is first.
The tear-out booklet will be so easy to sneak into your textbook during your super-boring math class. Sweet.
26. Maybe you and your BFF will send your pics to Barbizon later!
Or spend $20 on a 10-minute phone call to Boyfriend Rap.
29. “OMG! I TOTALLY FORGOT WE TOOK THESE PICS! LOLz.”
30. “Ugh. I can’t BELIEVE our picture with the band came out blurry. I WISH THERE WERE SOME WAY TO PREVIEW THESE THINGS.”
- Donald Trump's campaign chief Stephen Bannon said "he doesn't like Jews," according to his ex-wife.