1) ::walks in, feeling great, music blaring:: Yessss I am gonna walk out of here with SO MANY cool things and only spend, like, $50!
2) Am I too old to wear a “yolo” shirt?
3) Definitely too old for a “let’s get cray” muscle tee.
4) Annnd a Hello Kitty crop top.
5) Why are there so many crop tops.
6) Why are there so many tweens in crop tops all around me???
7) Wait a sec. Do kids these days even KNOW who Run-DMC is?!??!!?
8) Oooh, cute sundress! $15.80! Score.
9) OMG this dress is amazing too!
10) Uhh… $29.80? Nope. What is this, a high-end boutique?
11) Whoa, Forever 21 sells some pretty cute shoes now.
12) Yeah, all this jewelry is gonna rust in, like, a week, but everything’s $3.80! ::stocks up on edgy rings::
13) So. Many. Crosses.
14) $8.80 bras?! WHY have I been shopping at Victoria’s Secret all this time?!
15) I wonder how long this bra will last before it starts disintegrating.
16) Who cares! $8.80!
17) Why haven’t I been buying all my workout clothes here too?
18) And why does everything in here end in 80 cents?
19) Should I just bite the bullet and invest in something a little more expensive from Urban?
21) I wonder if there’s a hidden Bible verse somewhere on this print scarf.
22) OMG there totally is.
23) Wow much neon.
24) So floral.
25) Can I get away with wearing a snapback with a hashtag on it?
26) Probably not.
27) Is this a top or a belt?
28) It’s a top.
29) ::looks around:: Uh. Is everyone in here 15?
30) More like Forever FIFTEEN amirite
31) If my kid ever DARED to walk out of the house wearing something like this…
32) This music is SO FUN ::dances::
33) You know what, maybe I DO need a crop top.
34) Or two.
35) And high-waist pants.
36) JEANS FOR $7.80 AM I DREAMING
37) Eek. This fitting room line is CRAZY.
38) Guess I’ll suck it up.
39) OK. This music is great but — does it really have to be this loud?
40) I literally can’t even hear myself think.
41) How are these girls in front of me even having a conversation???
42) Oh, wait, they’re not. They’re just taking selfies.
43) ::peers over girls’ shoulders::
44) That’s a lot of hashtags.
45) OMG. Are they…sexting??! ::looks away::
46) ::moves to the beat, imagines how cool I’ll look at the club in new crop top::
47) ::comes to senses, realizes I haven’t been to the club in at least six years::
48) ::imagines how cool I’ll look just walking around in new crop top::
49) Oh man, I can’t wait to see how awesome all of these are gonna look.
50) Oh. Did I actually think I’d fit into a size small?
51) Did I actually think I’d fit into a size medium?
52) Where am I gonna wear this neon-yellow lace tube top again?
53) I wish there was a stool in here or something so my bag wouldn’t get so dusty.
54) I think the person in the next fitting room is actually having a physical fight with the hook that’s connected to mine.
55) Woo! Four outta eight ain’t bad. Can’t wait to ring these up.
56) Ooo sure, I’ll throw in this sparkly nail polish!
57) OMG I DID ONLY SPEND $50.
58) Yeah, yeah, I know the return policy.
59) Must be so annoying to have to ask every single customer if they’re aware of the return policy.
60) Wait… Am I aware of the return policy?
62) I love you, Forever 21.
- An NFL player paid tribute to Harambe, the gorilla who died at a Cincinnati zoo, on his cleats.