St. Francis of Assisi is known as the patron saint of animals and the environment.
This year, at the Cathedral Church of Saint John the Divine in New York City, a service and festival was held on Sunday, Oct. 6.
Lots of animals big and small dropped by to be blessed. I had a chance to interview some of them — and find out why they were asking for repentance.
1. This cow, who came to repent for using the “Why don’t you get with a real beefcake?” line one too many times to pick up a hot new babe at the bar every weekend.
2. This bulldog, who’s sorry she stole her sister’s (pictured below) favorite bows to wear today.
3. And this bulldog, who’s just here because her sister (above) is a klepto meanie. She has nothing to repent for because she is an upstanding citizen on all fronts.
4. This hurricane rescue cat, named Mister Maharaja, is here to repent for getting furballs all over his owner’s black pants every day and always blaming it on the dog.
(There is no dog.)
5. Here’s a pony who is feeling pretty guilty for always being late but HEY GUESS WHAT, this silky coif takes a long time to style in the morning, she’s really sorry about it.
6. This camel named Ted would like to be forgiven for getting so aggressive every time someone makes a “camel toe” joke, but come on, people — grow up. It’s getting a little old.
7. Here’s a donkey, also named Ted. He’s here to repent for stealing other Ted’s name.
There, there, Ted.
8. This 12-week-old Samoyed, who is sorry he is SO CUTE and fuzzy you keep confusing him for a stuffed animal.
9. Here’s a scruffy little pup who’s here to repent for always having her nose in the air. She can’t help it — she just has a taste for the finer things in life, but is trying every day to be a little lower maintenance.
10. This macaw, who’s feeling a little guilty for all those expletives he throws around like it’s NBD.
11. This hamster, who is just SO SORRY he keeps everyone up at night on his wheel but he’s trying to shed a few ounces so he’s not sure what else to do.
12. These lil’ pups, who really feel bad for showing everyone else up in their stylin’ threads but, hey — fashion is art, baby, what can they say.
13. These bunny-people, who came here to be forgiven for being ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING.
*crawling into hole* *crying* *crawling some more*
14. This dog feels pretty guilty about it, but he’s really just not up for doing another yoga pose with his humans.
“Yea yea, the whole ‘downward-facing dog’ joke. Good one, guys. [*eye roll*]” —this dog
15. These alpacas, who’d like to be forgiven for chewing with their mouths open.
16. This terrier mix, who wants some forgiveness for making you explode into bits because his level of adorableness cannot even be comprehended by the simple human mind. (“Sorry, guys!” —this dog)
Bonus: This lil’ tyke is also up for adoption! AND HIS NAME IS MARCUS MUMFORD. Check out Badass Brooklyn Animal Rescue for info on adopting him and other available doggies.
17. This pup is here to repent for distracting you from everything in your life because you’d rather just hang out in a pile of leaves and pet her instead of doing things like showering and eating and working.
FYI: This Lab puppy’s legs were seriously injured after being hit by a truck :( — and she’s about to have major surgery done. Her name is Christy Turlington, and she was rescued by Brooklyn Badass Animal Rescue — you can make a donation toward her surgery (and toward the care of other rescued doggies) here.
18. This dog wasn’t even here to be blessed but now that he’s been caught in the act of defacing the church grounds, he’s hoping five Hail Marys and a smile will do.
19. These sheep feel bad for always being so smug, but they just want to you face the truth already: They look better in wool than you do in that tacky-ass sweater.
PS: These sheep are also performers in the Radio City Christmas Spectacular show!
20. These guilty rodents, who are sorry for getting so loud but the whole “I smell a rat” line is just plain old stereotyping and it’s NOT NICE.
21. This pocket-sized pooch, who’s a little diva and refuses to use her tiny little legs to get from point A to point B and guess what — she’s not really sorry at all.
She just came along for the ride because her plebeian human bribed her with treats and the promise of a leisurely stroll.
BONUS: Here’s a glimpse of an albino peacock who regularly hangs around the church grounds just chillaxin’.
“See you next year!”
All photos by Emmy Favilla.