5. What does it MEAN?! (Usually asked by a stranger in a public place.)
Listen, dude. If I were interested in giving a dissertation detailing the inspiration behind my tattoos, I’d be at the Why I Got My Tattoo convention right now, not here at the bar catching up with my friend over some Guinness. (FYI: I am not a jerk. I just prefer to bond with strangers by, say, playing K-F-M using other bar patrons, or showing them adorable selfies of my cat. Not talking about my tattoos.)
12. Who did your tattoo — do you have his/her number?
No, but there’s a cool new website called Google that might. (Don’t get me wrong — I love my artist, and I would refer every tattoo-wanting human on the planet to him. I am not, however, a walking billboard for his business and don’t carry his cards in my wallet. Sorry!)
*tears. Stupid iPhone.
16. UGH, what are you gonna look like when you’re 80??
- President Trump signed executive orders today to advance the controversial Keystone XL and Dakota Access oil pipelines.
- 2017 Oscar nominations for Best Picture include: "La La Land," "Moonlight," "Arrival," and "Hidden Figures" 🎥 🎬
- White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer repeated claims that the inauguration was the most watched ever. But the numbers (still) don't make sense.
- Britain's Supreme Court has ruled that Prime Minister Theresa May needs to consult parliament before triggering Brexit.