5. What does it MEAN?! (Usually asked by a stranger in a public place.)
Listen, dude. If I were interested in giving a dissertation detailing the inspiration behind my tattoos, I’d be at the Why I Got My Tattoo convention right now, not here at the bar catching up with my friend over some Guinness. (FYI: I am not a jerk. I just prefer to bond with strangers by, say, playing K-F-M using other bar patrons, or showing them adorable selfies of my cat. Not talking about my tattoos.)
12. Who did your tattoo — do you have his/her number?
No, but there’s a cool new website called Google that might. (Don’t get me wrong — I love my artist, and I would refer every tattoo-wanting human on the planet to him. I am not, however, a walking billboard for his business and don’t carry his cards in my wallet. Sorry!)
*tears. Stupid iPhone.
16. UGH, what are you gonna look like when you’re 80??
- The World Health Organization says there is "no public health justification" for postponing or moving the Rio Olympics because of Zika virus.
- Never mind the $10 million: Donald Trump now says he won't debate "second place finisher" Bernie Sanders.
- The loneliest elephant in the world has died after spending 67 of her 69 years in captivity at a Tokyo zoo.