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1. A pack of water bottle–cleaning tablets that'll put an end to drinking from funky-looking water bottles. Let's try to love ourselves a little more this year, starting with having everything look clean and new.
2. A charcoal toothpaste to make your smile *extra bright* thanks to this easy-to-use (and vegan!) paste formula. It's a heck of a lot simpler than messy charcoal, and will leave you ready to make your "new year, new me" Insta grid all about your pearly whites.
3. A wine stain removing spray so this year when you inevitably spill red wine all over your favorite blanket AGAIN, you'll be able to spritz away all your problems. Look who has a clean home now!
4. A set of cable protectors, because this'll give your frayed phone charger a second life when you simply slip this on. No more "if I lay my phone down justtttt right it should charge." Leave those painful memories behind us.
5. A water bottle with time markers that'll make it seem actually possible to drink the recommended one liter a day. Who knew we'd be so responsible the minute the clock hit midnight? Ok, we're drinking champagne first.
6. A roll of eco-friendly, reusable bamboo towels so you can finally nix overspending on regular paper towels and clean up messes a whole lot faster thanks to the absorbent material. Eco conscious AND saving money? Who knew we could grow so fast.
7. An app called Aaptiv to easily squeeze exercise into even busy schedules with certified trainers, specialized programs, classes, and playlists. Basically if the thought of working out stresses you the @$#*! out (despite any "resolutions") this will take you by the hand and make it totally manageable. Perhaps even fun.
8. A spackle kit, because you'll need this if January brings you home improvement motivation — or you just need to get your security deposit back.
9. A TubShroom — aka literally the best (and most popular) thing since sliced bread — to make sure you never have to stand in water while showering again. And all it took was sticking this bb into your drain.
10. A set of colorful stainless steel straws that'll both carry over 2018's mission to save the sea turtles and make your drinks extra cold as you drink 'em. Everyone's going to win.
11. A set of shower curtain clips so you can stay toasty warm while showering, instead of dreading the cold air awaiting you. We DESERVE enjoying hot showers and by golly this year is going to bring it.
12. A bottle of Fanola purple shampoo, because this'll neutralize yellow tones left from pigment residue after bleaching or lightening, and brighten your hair to platinum blonde — all in just one to three minutes. New year, new hair.
13. A Squatty Potty that'll....relieve you from backed-up bowels in a shockingly fast manner. Translation: YOU WILL POOP LIKE NEVER BEFORE.
14. A line-a-day journal for a therapeutic way to end (or start!) every day, and eventually learn to control all our darn stress. Forgetting about self-care is so 2018.
15. A cult-favorite bra already loved by hundreds of big-breasted reviewers so spending $$$ on overpriced, uncomfortable bras is totally a thing of the past. 2019 is going to support us.
16. A subscription to Care/Of vitamins to kick the year off with a personalized vitamin regimen that'll cover all bases from shinier hair to healthier skin. Extra vitamin D? Yes, please. Fish oil? ABSOLUTELY.
17. A tub of heavy-duty cleaning wipes, because these'll conquer scary messes wherever they happened: even on your carpet. Meaning: this year we'll actually keep our homes clean, instead of avoiding eye contact with our roommates.
18. An essential oil diffuser that'll not only eliminate dry-air nosebleeds, but give your home a soothing touch. Leave your stress in 2018.
19. A bag of ashwagandha powder to use with warm milk for finally nixing sleepless nights with the magic of moon milk. 2019 is all about discovering what well-rested feels like.
20. A monthly budget planner so saving money over time doesn't just seem like something our parents can do — we're finally about to seem like ~real adults~.
21. A bottle of La Roche-Posay gel acne cleanser, because this formula of salicylic acid will STRONGLY encourage breakouts and excess oil to ~clear out~. In fact, they won't really have a choice. SO LONG. See you never again.
22. A duo of blind spot mirrors that'll make 2019 known as "when we learned how to parallel park."
23. A leak-proof stainless steel travel mug for totally avoiding big spills (this is your TIME, messy people). No more early morning crises before you've even had your caffeine.
24. A set of bento boxes so it's super easy to pack your lunch more and SAVE MONEY. 2019 could be when you travel more, all because you stopped buying food every day!
25. A set of seamless, low-rise underwear, because going forward, we'll never have to think about panty lines again. Thongs? Don't know her.
26. A magnetic key holder that won't let us forget the most important thing of the day anymore. Note: calling the locksmith is EXPENSIVE.
27. An all-natural headache and migraine relief balm with aromatherapy benefits so you can feel soothed in a much shorter time than usual — GOODBYE awful headaches. We're leaving you in 2018.
28. A pair of reusable silicone ear plugs, because this'll be a surprisingly simple solution to finally sleeping through the night...despite your roommate's tendency to blare the TV at 4 a.m. Isn't life beautiful on eight hours of sleep?
29. A silk scrunchy to *cut* hair creases out of your life —all while keeping something trendy on hand.
30. A tub of Aztec healing clay for deep-cleansing your pores like there's no tomorrow and kissing even the toughest, cystic breakouts GOODBYE. Did I mention the 13,166 Amazon five-star reviewers who saw a drastic improvement in their acne? Usually after ONE. TIME?!?!
31. A flat colander so you can catch food scraps and wash fruits and veggies at the same time — it'll be a heck of a lot easier now while you cook. So maybe now you'll....actually make your food instead of order it?
32. A pack of makeup removing cloths, because you'll be able to wipe even waterproof eyeliner and mascara away faster, aka go to bed with a clean face from now on — not to mention this'll save you $$$ on disposal makeup wipes.
33. An easy-to-grow houseplant that'll make your space feel a little more homey (plants are known to be therapeutic!) and prove you can take care of something after all. Deep breaths. Hello this is the new me, call me plant mom.
34. A bottle of Neutrogena anti-residue shampoo for hitting the reset button for dull, damaged hair. Just a weekly rinse with this will remove dulling residues (hello, styling products) and bring your mane back to its previous shiny state.
35. A Clorox ToiletWand so you can remove tough stains and eliminate germs in the fastest amount of time. Aka it'll do all the *heavy lifting* for you (and its long handle will keep you at a lovely arm's length from your potty). Clean bathrooms this year? Yes please.
36. A double-sided eyeliner stamp, because January 1st will now be the day you achieve a perfect cat eye. Don't ruin it with your tears of joy.
When these products actually help you finish a resolution:
