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1. A set of gold metal straws so you can make saving the sea turtles look so posh — despite drinking seltzer that isn't La Croix.
2. A floral wrap maxi skirt, because this'll make all your old T-shirts suddenly look sophisticated. One cheap skirt = whole new wardrobe.
3. A cold brew maker and stainless steel tumbler for not only enjoying quality iced coffee WITHOUT the daily $4 charge, but now you'll look fancy while drinking it. Overpriced coffee shops could never — so long, boring plastic cups.
4. A faux leather belt with a double-ring buckle that'll meet you in the *middle* when it comes to easily upgrading all your outfits without overspending.
5. A Tasty non-stick dutch oven so you can finally begin designing the copper-accessorized kitchen of your dreams. I do believe you're well on your way to living the Ina life you DESERVE.
6. An Essie gel-effect top coat to keep pro-level nails ~on hand~ without the hefty bill. Basically, you'll get all the perks of a fancy gel mani straight from your couch — it's fast-dry, high-shine, and will make your hard work last (and last).
7. An art deco coloring book, because this'll become quite the sophisticated pastime. I'm pretty sure this was Daisy's favorite activity, especially when done in public as a humblebrag. It's not easy being this creative AND effortlessly elegant, am I right?
8. A set of Neogen lemon peeling pads so you can bring high-end skincare right to your *fingertips* for super cheap. The combo of lactic acid, glycolic acid, and lemon, orange, and papaya extracts work together to clear clogged pores, fade scars, and brighten the heck out of your skin. And all it takes is a flick of your wrist.
9. A floral wrap dress with a ruffle trim for watching your wardrobe *blossom* with chic pieces without making your bank account wilt.
10. A charcoal toothpaste that'll give you fresh pearly whites without costing you a lot of *green*, making a mess of your sink, OR requiring any more effort than just regularly brushing.
11. A large or small floral temporary tattoo so you can grow into the kind of impossibly chic person you always found to be (hello, dainty tattoo Pinterest board), minus any commitment...financial included.
12. A pair of fashionable pajamas, because these'll keep your outfits fashionable even as you catch up on beauty sleep. Not to mention, reviewers say these keep them cool! Feeling luxuriously comfy in bed > sweating all night.
13. A rose-patterned throw blanket for making the same exact couch you've had since college look surprisingly elegant. Not to mention, it's light enough to snuggle with in warmer weather. Feeling plush while binging Netflix is an all-year activity, don't @ me.
14. A convertible leather clutch that'll make everyone wonder when you started to look so darn CHIC. Pastels? In spring? Somewhat groundbreaking when all we wear is $10 leggings.
15. A pair of thick 14K gold hoops so you can add some effortless polish to your look without your credit card bill throwing you for a ~loop~.
16. A pastel bento box, because this'll make bringing leftovers to work feel very, very sophisticated. It's called "I have student loans chic".
17. A pair of tortoiseshell sunglasses for making sure your new go-to accessory never *reflects* how much you spent. Quite the opposite, in fact.
18. A set of gold-trim decorative trays that'll present your jewelry so nicely, you'll wonder when you bought such expensive rings. Oh wait, you didn't. But who can tell — NOT YOU.
19. A bottle of Fanola purple shampoo so you can brighten your blonde hair to fully platinum in just one to three minutes. Translation: you get to maintain platinum blonde tresses ALL THE TIME without a trip to the pricey salon.
20. A bottle of spicy honey, because this'll make all your meals extra flavorful and delicious — frozen pizza included. Be sure to tip your freezer.
21. A collection of satin-y pearl hair ties for transforming your usual ponytail into a work of art. Warning: your sweats and friends will be somewhat shocked by your new high-end taste.
22. A set of trophy measuring cups that'll win your tiny apartment kitchen first place in ~Most Presentable.~ Is that Martha Stewart at the door? To ask for a tour? Nobody pinch me.
23. A double-sided Revlon liquid lipstick so you can prove a classic red lip = instantly chic...budget be damned. PLUS this one boasts a glossy topcoat and lasts up to ~16 hours~, meaning it'll keep you looking done up the whole darn day.
24. An attachable aerator, because this'll infuse oxygen to release any inexpensive wine's ~aromas~ and bolden the taste right out of the bottle — so basically you're about to become a sommelier.
25. A lace-up, puff-sleeve top for feeling instantly en vogue, even when paired with the same jeans you've owned since high school.
26. A Physicians Formula highlighter that'll let you swipe on the ultimate ~glow up~ in under a minute. Its super buttery formula leaves your cheekbones with no choice but to SHINE, thanks to its creamy, pigmented blend of murmur butter, capuaçu butter, and tucuman butter.
27. A duo of reversible sequin storage bins so hiding all your clutter suddenly feels glamorous. AND you can see the floor now? This must be how the queen feels.
28. A high-cut, tie-front swimsuit, because this'll make you forget you were ever *salty* about the $$$ trendy beach looks you see all over Instagram. Dare I say...you're one of them now.
29. A pack of monarch playing cards for making sure all your parties are a ~royal flush~. So what if you hid your mess under your bed? Things like that are lost in the shuffle when you're the queen of hosting game night.
30. A knit rounded-collared blouse to give your jeans a whole new life when you add this (gasp!) fancy twist. No one will ever know you usually prioritize your Chipotle budget over clothes — not when you keep this on heavy rotation.
31. A set of copper tongue scrapers that'll actually make getting rid of bacteria and odored breath feel upscale, instead of icky. Just don't look at your sink.
32. A pair of platform espadrilles so you can easily *elevate* your entire wardrobe without wondering if your bill will bring you to your knees.
33. A Vivienne Sabó volumizing mascara, because this'll be a one-stop journey to thick, fanned lashes thanks to its clump-free, drama-loving formula. Translation: its gold tube looks high-end, but is actually saving you money when you don't need lash primer.
34. A three-in-one spiralizer and juicer for bringing fresh, home-made OJ right to your very own kitchen. Where are we, the Hamptons?! Well...no. But at least it'll FEEL like it before we have to traipse to work.
35. A mesmerizing eyeshadow palette with 18 bold shades that'll prove you don't need to drop $100 to achieve the perfect glittery eye. Though your skills may lead people to believe you did.
Your friends when you're suddenly this fancy new person:
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