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27 Products I Straight-Up Dare You Trolls To Hate

Look what you made me do.

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1. A sexy shower curtain featuring a sloth who's really making it rain.

amazon.com

Promising Review: "Best purchase I've made this year. Shower time is never dull in the mornings with this sexy and seductive stripper sloth. We dance, wash, and sing together. I've named him Monica. He's a hot mess, and I love to make it rain erry day." —Jesse Drew

Get it on Amazon for $29.99.

2. A pooch selfie stick because if you don't take 1000 pictures a day with your dog, your heart is dead.

amazon.com

Promising Review: "This is such a great product! I am constantly taking pictures of my dog, Max, and he is rarely ever looking directly at the camera. Since receiving this product, I have not taken a single picture of Max without him looking directly at me (or should I say the squeaky ball at the top of my phone!)." —Dishy24

Get it on Amazon for $12.99.

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4. An array of gorgeous hues for under 10 dollars — try to beat that, please.

amazon.com, instagram.com

Promising Review: "The colors are very nice and pigmented with little to no fallout. It has a good balance of matte and shimmery colors, and they stay on very well. I immediately started getting compliments from people after I started using it because it looks so nice on and lasts well." —Stressed In College

Get it on Amazon for $6.99.

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8. A DIY sushi maker as a way to ensure that at least one thing in your life isn't ~falling apart~.

amazon.com

Promising Review: "Makes sushi super easy to make! I never thought I could do this myself, but I am going to save a fortune on sushi going forward. Basically cheap sushi for life. Worth every penny." —Chai Man

Get it on Amazon for $6.79.

10. A litter of kitties who will make each and every measurement purrfect.

amazon.com

Promising Review: "I love these measuring cups. They make me smile every time I go into my kitchen: cute and practical." —Deborah J. Murray

Get a set of four bowls, (1/4 cup, 1/3 cup, 1/2 cup, and 1 cup), on Amazon for $25.95.

11. A nail polish holder that'll give staying in a nice *ring* to it.

firebox.com

Promising Review: "I love this thing. It's life-changing. I know that sounds dramatic, but I love two things: reading and nail polish. This allows me to do both things at the same time." —Aubrey Marangé

Get it on Firebox for $19.49 (available in four colors) or Amazon for $6.99 (available in nine colors).

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12. A gorgeous accent chair if you'd like to pamper your bum with velvet.

amazon.com

Promising Review: "This chair is really beautiful in person! The velvet is really soft and plush — it feels more expensive than under $100. I put it together on my own, and it took me less than five minutes." —jennadventures

Get it on Amazon for $94.99 (available in five colors).

13. A breakfast sandwich maker so you don't have to even get dressed to live the fast food life, aka the best life.

amazon.com

Promising Review: "I've been using this breakfast sandwich maker for over a year, and I really do love it. Whenever family or friends visit and happen to spend the night, they all ask me for breakfast sandwiches the next morning because they know how great they are." —Daniel C. Hatfield

Get it on Amazon for $22.74.

14. Some enchanting floral lipsticks to really make your pout blossom.

amazon.com

Promising Review: "They're super pretty to look at, and they feel very smooth going on. About one coat is all you need for the day. They seem to be very nice for hydrating your lips, as well. They made my lips significantly softer after two days." —Kadison Jensen

Get a set of four on Amazon for $24.20.

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16. A glowing unicorn who is tired of being told that their species is made up. They are real, and they are protecting you from the Boogeyman.

modcloth.com

Promising Review: "It's small, but it's really bright. I use it to read at night before I go to bed, or if I have to get up and need a flashlight. It never gets hot to the touch, and it's easy to switch on and off. As a woman in her 20s, I felt a little silly ordering a unicorn light, but the box says 'My name is Uni, and I'm here to light up your world.' Very friendly for adults and kids alike." —Maggie S.

Get it on ModCloth for $17.99 or Amazon for $16.99+ (available in five colors).

17. A majestic super suit that proves not all heroes wear capes, just really cute costumes.

18. A sensual cookbook so you can whisper "let's take this to the kitchen."

amazon.com

Promising Review: "This book is not only funny as hell, but the recipes are great too. Also, according to my girlfriend, she says the writing is a lot better than Fifty Shades of Grey. I am a professional cook, and these recipes are great." —Doughbizzle

Get it on Amazon for $2.99+ (available in Kindle and hardcover).

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21. A true work of art. It's time to grow a friend.

amazon.com

Promising Review: "Bob Ross, rest his pure and shining soul, will always have a place in my life. The terra-cotta is well-made, nice and smooth. The chia seeds are plentiful, enough for multiple crops, and the instructions are helpful. The seeds are fresh and sprouted immediately." —M. Gode

Get it on Amazon for $19.99.

22. Some scorching hot sandals to maintain your reputation as a fashion trailblazer.

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24. An adorable couple who'll sprinkle a bit of love on your food, but not in an unsanitary way.

amazon.com

Promising Review: "I have had this salt and pepper set for more than two years, and they are still in great condition! They come in perfect sizes such that you don't really need to refill them super often, but also they are small enough that you can put them anywhere. The magnet under the peas attach them to the base so they don't fall." —Savvy Online Consumer

Get it on Amazon for $13.95.

25. An inviting pillow case as a real excuse to drool in your sleep.

amazon.com

Promising Review: "The smooth texture and high-resolution make me feel like Nic is really in bed with me. I really enjoy waking up to his smiling, vaguely psychotic face. My cat disagrees." —heltonb

Get it on Amazon for $5.49.