Angelica Baini / BuzzFeed We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page. 1. A pair of oversized sunglasses to judge people under the radar. amazon.com Get them on Amazon for $12.99 (available in nine colors). 2. A totally sincere nameplate. You're not rolling your eyes at your coworkers *at all*. fckshtshop.com Get it on The Fuck Shit Shop for $29.Enter promo code SUMMERSOVER at checkout to get 20% off your order. 3. A cursing coloring book that'll warn people off so you can draw in peace. amazon.com Promising Review: "Unfortunately, the only adult coloring books I can obtain locally are of butterflies and other foo-foo nonsense. THIS, however, allows me to clearly and colorfully illustrate my dislike for people in a way that no other medium quite manages." —Amazon CustomerGet it on Amazon for $5.39. 4. A protective doormat because solicitors aren't the only unwanted visitors in your home. amazon.com Promising Review: "Gets chuckles, and I haven't had as many sales folk knock on my door." —MegGet it on Amazon for $19.99. 5. Some standoffish socks so you can ~kick back~ and relax without intruders. shop.nylon.com Get them on Nordstrom or The Nylon Shop for $14. 6. A pair of romantic earrings. A great opener on your Bumble. fckshtshop.com Get them on The Fuck Shit Shop for $32.Enter promo code SUMMERSOVER at checkout to get 20% off your order. 7. A hoodie pillow to wear when you don't even need to nap—you just want to avoid people. amazon.com Promising Review: "Best thing ever! I feel like I'm hiding when I wear it, and it's super comfortable and warm." —ChelseaGet it on Amazon for $24.95+ (available in three colors). 8. A phone case covered with the tears of those who were dumb enough to try and play you. missguidedus.com Get it on Missguided for $14 (available in iPhone 7). 9. A heartfelt card that really covers all you feel. etsy.com Get it from Could You Please on Etsy for $4.50. 10. A very relatable pin so you can carry around an identical twin. etsy.com Get it from Danny Brito on Etsy for $10. 11. An honest hat, in case your resting bitch face isn't scary enough. etsy.com Get it from Galaxy Elites on Etsy for $19 (available in five colors). 12. Some cheerful balloons that'll really make the guest of honor feel loved. awin1.com Get a 12-pack on Firebox for $9.09. 13. A reflective pouch with not so much of a sad statement, but a victory cry. shop.nylon.com And these friends are named: me, myself, and I. Get it on The Nylon Shop for $29. 14. A ladylike T-shirt that's probably mimicking your regular gestures. etsy.com Get it from the Katy days on Etsy for $17.07 (available in sizes S-2X). 15. A steaming cup of stay in bed all day and ignore your phone. etsy.com Get it from Threads & Beyond on Etsy for $15. 16. A helpful notebook for when coworkers suddenly think you're willing to do anything but stare at the ceiling. urbanoutfitters.com Promising Review: "Love this notebook! Makes everyone in the office laugh when they see it. I wasn't expecting the lettering to be felt, nice touch!" —BeatyBuyerGet it on Amazon for $12 or Urban Outfitters for $28. 17. A motivational denim jacket so admirers can get a dose of encouragement. shop.nylon.com Get it on The Nylon Shop for $150 (available in sizes S-L). 18. A friendly pin if subtle hints aren't doing enough. etsy.com Get it from Past Your Porchlight on Etsy for $9. 19. A set of rings in case your middle finger is empty. etsy.com Get them from simplestamp on Etsy for $14+ (available in three colors and sizes 4-10). 20. A shirt featuring the constant inner thought that probably plays in your head on repeat. etsy.com Get it from The Tee Studio on Etsy for $12. 21. A petty phone case as a perfect response for anyone who remotely disagrees with you, as if! missguidedus.com Get it on Missguided for $14 (available in iPhone 6). **Boy approaches** Tap to play or pause GIF Tap to play or pause GIF Paramount Pictures The reviews for this post have been edited for length and clarity.