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23 Things That Only A Really Awkward Person Will Appreciate

::Mentally prepares five hours for small greeting:: The products in this post were updated in October 2017.

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We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page.
Allison Krausman / BuzzFeed

We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page.

1. A pillow hoodie so you can nap in public without feeling the piercing of a stranger's gaze.

Promising Review: "Best thing ever! I feel like I'm hiding when I wear it, and it's super comfortable and warm." —PJDGet it on Amazon for $29.95.
amazon.com

Promising Review: "Best thing ever! I feel like I'm hiding when I wear it, and it's super comfortable and warm." —PJD

Get it on Amazon for $29.95.

2. A stress-relief toy who totally feels your pain of interacting with humans.

Promising Review: "The fact that this exists perplexes me, but I find it highly enjoyable and disturbingly adorable." —LlamaRedPajamaGet it on Amazon for $1.19.
amazon.com

Promising Review: "The fact that this exists perplexes me, but I find it highly enjoyable and disturbingly adorable." —LlamaRedPajama

Get it on Amazon for $1.19.

3. A survival guide for those little cringeworthy hiccups, aka every moment of every day.

Promising Review: "Within three sentences, I was laughing out loud and flipping through the other chapters to see what else would be popping up. Then I read one short chapter and had that feeling that I want to salvage the enjoyment of this book as long as I can." —rose lebewitzGet it on Amazon for $6.64.
amazon.com

Promising Review: "Within three sentences, I was laughing out loud and flipping through the other chapters to see what else would be popping up. Then I read one short chapter and had that feeling that I want to salvage the enjoyment of this book as long as I can." —rose lebewitz

Get it on Amazon for $6.64.

4. A wall mount for your phone if you never want to leave the privacy of your toilet again.

Promising Review: "Got this for a friend who conducts 'business' while in the bathroom. Now he has a place to put his phone so it doesn't fall down into the sink or on the floor!" —PJDGet it on Amazon for $11.99.
amazon.com

Promising Review: "Got this for a friend who conducts 'business' while in the bathroom. Now he has a place to put his phone so it doesn't fall down into the sink or on the floor!" —PJD

Get it on Amazon for $11.99.

5. An unexpected wingman, because you've probably never been great at flirting.

Promising Review: "Who knew there were so many reasons to do the deed ; )." —HallieGet it on Amazon for $7.70.
amazon.com

Promising Review: "Who knew there were so many reasons to do the deed ; )." —Hallie

Get it on Amazon for $7.70.

6. Some deodorizing spray if public number twos make you feel blue.

Promising Review: "OMG. It actually works! I spray it into the toilet bowl three to four times before I do my business and miraculously, there is no more odor!" —Tiffany A. JakubiakGet it on Amazon for $9.65+ (available in 13 scents and in five sizes).
amazon.com

Promising Review: "OMG. It actually works! I spray it into the toilet bowl three to four times before I do my business and miraculously, there is no more odor!" —Tiffany A. Jakubiak

Get it on Amazon for $9.65+ (available in 13 scents and in five sizes).

7. A seriously irresistible pillowcase that will teach you just how beautiful pillow talk can be.

*Waits for Nic to whisper sweet nothings*Get it from Teloletos on RedBubble for $20 (available in five sizes).
redbubble.com

*Waits for Nic to whisper sweet nothings*

Get it from Teloletos on RedBubble for $20 (available in five sizes).

8. A naughty cookbook so you pick up some moves while throwing down in the kitchen.

Oh, tender seductress.Promising Review: "This book is not only funny as hell, but the recipes are great, too. I am a professional cook, and these recipes are great. The bacon-wrapped wings and Thai chicken sliders were amazing." —DoughbizzleGet it on Amazon for $15.59.
amazon.com

Oh, tender seductress.

Promising Review: "This book is not only funny as hell, but the recipes are great, too. I am a professional cook, and these recipes are great. The bacon-wrapped wings and Thai chicken sliders were amazing." —Doughbizzle

Get it on Amazon for $15.59.

9. A downright sexy George Costanza pin that'll teach you the art of seduction.

Promising Review: "People want to steal this from me." —Maria NavarroGet it on Amazon for $9.95.
amazon.com

Promising Review: "People want to steal this from me." —Maria Navarro

Get it on Amazon for $9.95.

10. A seductive shower curtain that will certainly make every guest feel welcome in the bathroom.

Promising Review: "Nothing has ever made me as happy as this shower curtain. His face looks through my bathroom door as if to greet my guests. Sometimes five stars is not enough. This is one of those times. Everyone should own this." —Amazon CustomerGet it on Amazon for $13.86.
amazon.com

Promising Review: "Nothing has ever made me as happy as this shower curtain. His face looks through my bathroom door as if to greet my guests. Sometimes five stars is not enough. This is one of those times. Everyone should own this." —Amazon Customer

Get it on Amazon for $13.86.

11. A foolproof pickup line bestowed on you from the awkward queen herself.

Get it from gracieallen95 on RedBubble for $2.86.
redbubble.com

Get it from gracieallen95 on RedBubble for $2.86.

12. Some flasks that have you covered rain or shine when socializing becomes too much to bear.

amazon.com, amazon.com

Promising Review: "These are awesome. Not sure why I didn't get these back when I was in high school. No leaks whatsoever. Cap is firm and stays closed, no problem." —Stormyy

Get them on Amazon: set of three bottles for $7.99 and umbrella for $15.99.

13. An honest label if you're frequently trying to ~patch up~ blundering moments.

Promising Review: "Absolutely love this patch — it's a great size and wonderful quality! I wear it everywhere." —Lucy FlanaganGet it from printrovert on Etsy for $6.95.
etsy.com

Promising Review: "Absolutely love this patch — it's a great size and wonderful quality! I wear it everywhere." —Lucy Flanagan

Get it from printrovert on Etsy for $6.95.

14. Some slang flash cards to help you fit in with those dang youths.

amazon.com

Promising Review: "Now my dad uses the phrase 'ba-donk-a-donk' and that's fine by me." —Andrew Naylor

Get them on Amazon for $10.36.

15. An awkward turtle for you to hold as you block those humiliating late-night recollections.

Promising Review: "Super cute, soft, and funny."—LiankoGet it on Amazon for $22.
amazon.com

Promising Review: "Super cute, soft, and funny."—Lianko

Get it on Amazon for $22.

16. A scroll of Danny Devito in case you need to be reminded that your social skills are at least higher than Frank's.

Promising Review: "Simply stunning." —Amazon CustomerGet it on Amazon for $16.
amazon.com

Promising Review: "Simply stunning." —Amazon Customer

Get it on Amazon for $16.

17. A magical mask for when you need a moment to discreetly hide.

amazon.com

Promising Review: "Life-changing. I finally feel like I have reached the pinnacle of success." —Lunchbox Lama

Get it on Amazon for $25.60.

18. A Bob Ross chia pet if you're looking to grow a new pal.

Get it on Urban Outfitters for $24.
urbanoutfitters.com

Get it on Urban Outfitters for $24.

19. A card game that probably hits way too close to home.

Promising Review: "Great!" —Moe FGet it on Amazon for $18.95.
amazon.com

Promising Review: "Great!" —Moe F

Get it on Amazon for $18.95.

20. A gawky T. rex who's just waiting to grow into his arms.

Get it from obinsun on RedBubble for $25 (available in a variety of iPhone models).
redbubble.com

Get it from obinsun on RedBubble for $25 (available in a variety of iPhone models).

21. A realistic pillow with a non-negotiable argument.

Get it from Urban Outfitters for $39.
urbanoutfitters.com

Get it from Urban Outfitters for $39.

22. An expressive card for a heartfelt message that you couldn't put into words.

Get it from Could You Please on Etsy for $4.50.
etsy.com

Get it from Could You Please on Etsy for $4.50.

23. A punny patch that will unfortunately probably start conversations.

Get it from helloDODOshop on Etsy for $8.18.
etsy.com

Get it from helloDODOshop on Etsy for $8.18.

Another day, another repressed memory.

20th Century Fox Television

Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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Allison Krausman / BuzzFeed
The best things at three price points