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    23 Things That Only A Really Awkward Person Will Appreciate

    ::Mentally prepares five hours for small greeting:: The products in this post were updated in October 2017.

    Allison Krausman / BuzzFeed

    We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales from the links on this page.

    1. A pillow hoodie so you can nap in public without feeling the piercing of a stranger's gaze.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "Best thing ever! I feel like I'm hiding when I wear it, and it's super comfortable and warm." β€”PJD

    Get it on Amazon for $29.95.

    2. A stress-relief toy who totally feels your pain of interacting with humans.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "The fact that this exists perplexes me, but I find it highly enjoyable and disturbingly adorable." β€”LlamaRedPajama

    Get it on Amazon for $1.19.

    3. A survival guide for those little cringeworthy hiccups, aka every moment of every day.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "Within three sentences, I was laughing out loud and flipping through the other chapters to see what else would be popping up. Then I read one short chapter and had that feeling that I want to salvage the enjoyment of this book as long as I can." β€”rose lebewitz

    Get it on Amazon for $6.64.

    4. A wall mount for your phone if you never want to leave the privacy of your toilet again.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "Got this for a friend who conducts 'business' while in the bathroom. Now he has a place to put his phone so it doesn't fall down into the sink or on the floor!" β€”PJD

    Get it on Amazon for $11.99.

    5. An unexpected wingman, because you've probably never been great at flirting.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "Who knew there were so many reasons to do the deed ; )." β€”Hallie

    Get it on Amazon for $7.70.

    6. Some deodorizing spray if public number twos make you feel blue.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "OMG. It actually works! I spray it into the toilet bowl three to four times before I do my business and miraculously, there is no more odor!" β€”Tiffany A. Jakubiak

    Get it on Amazon for $9.65+ (available in 13 scents and in five sizes).

    7. A seriously irresistible pillowcase that will teach you just how beautiful pillow talk can be.

    redbubble.com

    *Waits for Nic to whisper sweet nothings*

    Get it from Teloletos on RedBubble for $20 (available in five sizes).

    8. A naughty cookbook so you pick up some moves while throwing down in the kitchen.

    amazon.com

    Oh, tender seductress.

    Promising Review: "This book is not only funny as hell, but the recipes are great, too. I am a professional cook, and these recipes are great. The bacon-wrapped wings and Thai chicken sliders were amazing." β€”Doughbizzle

    Get it on Amazon for $15.59.

    9. A downright sexy George Costanza pin that'll teach you the art of seduction.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "People want to steal this from me." β€”Maria Navarro

    Get it on Amazon for $9.95.

    10. A seductive shower curtain that will certainly make every guest feel welcome in the bathroom.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "Nothing has ever made me as happy as this shower curtain. His face looks through my bathroom door as if to greet my guests. Sometimes five stars is not enough. This is one of those times. Everyone should own this." β€”Amazon Customer

    Get it on Amazon for $13.86.

    11. A foolproof pickup line bestowed on you from the awkward queen herself.

    redbubble.com

    Get it from gracieallen95 on RedBubble for $2.86.

    12. Some flasks that have you covered rain or shine when socializing becomes too much to bear.

    amazon.com, amazon.com

    Promising Review: "These are awesome. Not sure why I didn't get these back when I was in high school. No leaks whatsoever. Cap is firm and stays closed, no problem." β€”Stormyy

    Get them on Amazon: set of three bottles for $7.99 and umbrella for $15.99.

    13. An honest label if you're frequently trying to ~patch up~ blundering moments.

    etsy.com

    Promising Review: "Absolutely love this patch β€” it's a great size and wonderful quality! I wear it everywhere." β€”Lucy Flanagan

    Get it from printrovert on Etsy for $6.95.

    14. Some slang flash cards to help you fit in with those dang youths.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "Now my dad uses the phrase 'ba-donk-a-donk' and that's fine by me." β€”Andrew Naylor

    Get them on Amazon for $10.36.

    15. An awkward turtle for you to hold as you block those humiliating late-night recollections.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "Super cute, soft, and funny."β€”Lianko

    Get it on Amazon for $22.

    16. A scroll of Danny Devito in case you need to be reminded that your social skills are at least higher than Frank's.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "Simply stunning." β€”Amazon Customer

    Get it on Amazon for $16.

    17. A magical mask for when you need a moment to discreetly hide.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "Life-changing. I finally feel like I have reached the pinnacle of success." β€”Lunchbox Lama

    Get it on Amazon for $25.60.

    18. A Bob Ross chia pet if you're looking to grow a new pal.

    urbanoutfitters.com

    Get it on Urban Outfitters for $24.

    19. A card game that probably hits way too close to home.

    amazon.com

    Promising Review: "Great!" β€”Moe F

    Get it on Amazon for $18.95.

    20. A gawky T. rex who's just waiting to grow into his arms.

    redbubble.com

    Get it from obinsun on RedBubble for $25 (available in a variety of iPhone models).

    21. A realistic pillow with a non-negotiable argument.

    urbanoutfitters.com

    Get it from Urban Outfitters for $39.

    22. An expressive card for a heartfelt message that you couldn't put into words.

    etsy.com

    Get it from Could You Please on Etsy for $4.50.

    23. A punny patch that will unfortunately probably start conversations.

    etsy.com

    Get it from helloDODOshop on Etsy for $8.18.

    Another day, another repressed memory.

    20th Century Fox Television

    Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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    Allison Krausman / BuzzFeed

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