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1. A serene sloth who wants you to live life in the slow lane.
2. A rowdy recommendation, because ain't no cure like the "F" word.
3. An encouraging expletive for you to loudly repeat.
4. Some lecturing lettuce who needs you to wait for the wine to kick in.
5. A reliable reminder so you can stop yourself in the middle of a fit.
6. A cheerful demand that'll get you out of the house and a drink in your hand.
7. A warning for anyone who crosses your threshold and lurks in your fridge without permission.
8. An honest priority with no explanation needed.
9. A general statement to apply to probably every single social engagement that's not on your couch.
10. A reasonable request for your boss that I'm sure they'll allow.
11. A relaxing prescription with a side effect of napping and dgaf.
12. A sincere apology that you'll probably need again around dinner time.
13. A low-key location where people will know not to disturb.
14. A meditative motto to teach even those of us who can't touch our toes.
15. A fancy font for a blunt conclusion.
16. A suggestion if you need some hardcore music therapy.
17. A message from the universe that aliens are watching your problems, and they really don't find them a big deal.
18. A sweet escape if you're starting to get a sinking feeling.
19. A helpful phrase for you to repeatedly mutter until 5 p.m.
20. A mutual agreement to repress another memory.
21. A designated area as a place to lie face-down and take a breath.
22. A problem-free philosophy that means no worries, for the rest of your days.
But nothing beats the moodies like a little carbo-loading. And ice cream. And wine. And dessert wine.
