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1. A credit-card sized multi-use pocket tool with ~11 functions~ so you can tackle every minor inconvenience that comes your way, be it opening a bottle or needing a ruler.
2. An adjustable pet seatbelt harness that'll give you peace of mind as you drive your bestie to the vet. A plus: they can no longer randomly attempt to escape through the window. Why.
3. An essential oil blend with tea tree, peppermint, eucalyptus, and more that can give you sweet, sweet relief from seasonal allergies. Reviewers say a dab of this on your nose = no more stuffy noses and coughing.
4. A pack of Rael pimple patches for draining zits overnight and reducing the lifetime of your breakout faster than you can say pop. They take a second to slap on, speed up recovery to practically overnight, and help you totally skip the whole "how to conceal this flaky scar" process.
5. An address and password log book, because you and I know the computer forgot your password, but that won't help now. And we can't prove we're not a robot. What was our mother's maiden name again?! This is so stressful, please just get this book.
6. An Essie gel-effect top coat so you can keep pro-level nails ~on hand~ without the hefty bill. Basically, you'll get all the perks of a fancy gel mani straight from your couch — it's fast-dry, high-shine, and will make your hard work last (and last).
7. A set of metal drinking straws that'll let you both ditch plastic straws once and for all, but also avoid paper straws. Have you ever tried to drink a milkshake out of those? I have. It was a catastrophe.
8. A key-hiding case for preventing you from getting locked out of your house yet again. If you REALLY don't want to call your roommate for help again, you need this. For everyone's sake.
9. A pack of Pacifica underarm deodorant wipes, because sometimes you just need a little ~pick-me-up~. Actually, we need this all the time. This morning's deodorant has already been abolished. Our armpits are too strong.
10. An eyeglass repair kit (it's great for sunglasses, too!) so the next time you break your glasses you can fix 'em right away, instead of having to make time to go to the optometrist. Which is great, because this seems to happen a lot.
11. A monitor mount clip that'll keep things that you REALLY can't forget about right in front of your face. Procrastinators, meet your match.
12. A duo of reusable snack bags for nixing the cost (and waste) of plastic baggies. This is also a wonderful way to disguise animal crackers so you don't have to share.
13. A handbag organizer, because this'll make sure you never lose your dang keys again....or wallet, mail, headphones, you get it. Messy folk — your days of digging are OVER.
14. A short-sleeved bodysuit you can constantly depend on. It's basic, cute, and will cancel any fear of your outfit becoming *untucked*. Basically it'll do all the work of making you look composed.
15. A lightweight contoured sleep mask and soothing organic sleep balm that'll help you fall (and stay!) asleep for once. The mask leaves zero pressure on your eyes so you won't feel its presence, while the balm uses a blend of essential oils to ease you into a more relaxed state of mind. Talk about a dream team.
16. A rapid ramen cooker (from Shark Tank!) for transforming hard noodles into a drool-worthy, microwave meal in MINUTES. Please don't press your face against the microwave. You really only need to wait for about three minutes.
17. A heat-resistant silicone travel mat, because how many times have you burnt T-shirts from tossing hot curling irons in your suitcase? That's right, TOO MANY.
18. A set of double-tipped pointed cotton swaps so you can fix smudged eyeliner or really any mistakes, instead of singing "hello darkness, my old friend" and leaving the messy wings.
19. A mini shoe grip with a suede finish that'll swoop in just in time for sandal season and prevent pinched piggies and blisters by reducing friction.
20. A double-dipper sauce holder, because the alternative is either spilling BBQ sauce all over your lap or driving distracted. You deserve to eat nuggies with nothing but pure joy and the open road.
21. A floating book shelf so you can perform the most unbelievable magic trick: decluttering. That's right, this'll keep your favorite reads off the floor and right up on your wall. AMAZING.
22. A cuticle and nail oil pen to drastically repair brittle, damaged nails in just three days' time. Its ~initial hydration treatment~ requires you to apply this oil consistently for the first three days so that your fingertips are totally saturated in its healing ingredients. The result: strong, shiny nails that actually GROW.
23. A wildly popular everything bagel seasoning blend that'll make your avocado toast taste like the carb angels themselves blessed it. Sea salt + garlic + onion = instant tears of joy.
24. A silver jewelry cleaner, because this'll bring all your rusty, old jewelry back to ✨sparkly new✨ condition. Hello, Tiffany bracelet from my Bat Mitvah. How I've missed you.
25. A leak-proof water bottle so you can easily stay on track all day after swearing you're going to drink more H20. That was your New Year's resolution and it's now April. It's TIME.
26. A multi-purpose cleaning solution that'll treat just about everything under the sun: rust, burnt pans, stained tubs, worn-down sinks, even Sharpie marks (!!!). It's true there isn't a mess we haven't seen, but now there won't be a mess we haven't fixed.
27. A handy device for making sure you and your family can more easily keep track of whether the dog has been fed. No more accidentally feeding them twice. A win for you guys, but a loss for the dog.
28. A cult-favorite drain snake with a flexible barbed wand, because this'll finally put an end to showering in standing water. It turns out even when you use 10 pounds of conditioner (don't deny) clogged drains are avoidable —especially since this takes less than a minute to use.
29. A pair of earbud covers so you can wear your AirPods more comfortably without sacrificing sound quality. The future is NOW.
30. A multi-functional car duster that'll make keeping your dashboard free of dust bunnies super fast and easy. Which we need, because we're always too busy running late to clean anyway.
31. A roll of reusable bamboo towels for nixing overspending on regular paper towels and cleaning up messes a whole lot faster, thanks to the absorbent material. Eco conscious AND saving money? Who knew chores could be so rewarding.
32. An RFID-blocking metal card holder, because this'll keep credit cards, ID's, building passes, and everything else organized and compact. It has seven accordion slots so you can throw everything in and ditch the messy, bulky wallet.
33. A pair of reusable silicone ear plugs so you can discreetly block out noisy people in the office without making it obvious (or having to listen to music). They're also safe and comfortable for sleeping!
34. A helpful mug that'll always make sure to remind you to do the most important thing of the day — right after you finish your coffee, of course.
But then your mom says you can't bring your laundry home anymore and you're like...
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