We hope you love our recommendations! Some may have been sent as samples, but all were independently selected by our editors. Just FYI, BuzzFeed and its publishing partners may collect a share of sales and/or other compensation from the links on this page.
We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a small share of sales from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
1. An approachable mug so you can say "psych!" every time a person tries to come your way.
2. A travel book with a whopping 500 where-to-visit recommendations that'll help plan your escape, I mean trip. When you ask your boss for vacation days just say five or so, not forever. They'll figure it out.
3. An inflatable travel hoodie pillow for any occasion, even when you're awake. When you're hidden, you're safe.
4. A therapeutic coloring book so you can fill in the blanks about how terrible you find everyone around you.
5. A pocket IQ test kit to use on just about everyone who hits "reply all" on company-wide emails.
6. A sneaky flask bracelet that'll really come in handy when a Jersey Shore lookalike persistently tries to get your number.
7. A baseball cap for when you get the tea and manage to mind your own business at the same time. Are you secretly judging? Of course.
8. A Festivus celebration kit, because it's finally time to share your grievances loud and clear.
9. A stress-relieving sack for when people are busting your balls.
10. A pair of blunt socks so people know you're not horsing around when you say leave me be.
11. An honest stamp to slam down on Tom's shit excuse for "contribution" to a group project.
12. A guide to surviving the wilderness for when you inevitably snap and move into a cave.
13. A crying emoji pillow so you two can sob together as your mom calls because she needs help taking a screenshot again.
14. A therapeutic pad to actually send someone a message instead of screaming into the nothingness after your neighbor decides to hang up their art at 11 p.m.
15. A boyfriend pillow, because the nights can be lonely but sharing the bed is a whole lot worse.
16. A pack of ecstatic balloons that'll show how you really feel when you're forced to attend coworker's birthdays.
17. An effective stress reduction kit to use in emergencies, like when your boss asks you to come in on Saturday because they need help with Excel.
18. A crazy cat lady action figure so you can gaze into your future after you get another "wyd" text at 2 a.m.
19. A wine monkey sock, because now you're technically not drinking alone — though that's usually a better way to end the day, anyway.
20. A pair of bluetooth headphones that'll block out the noise of some girl crying about her boyfriend. HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU, HANG UP.
21. A set of stickers to reward yourself for the very hard task of keeping your cool all day, even when your roommate takes over the bathroom for two hours.
22. A Doge coin purse with major side eye that'll keep you company when Susan asks about your weekend plans AGAIN.
When you get hit with that "why don't we talk anymore?" text:
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