1. A Jacob & Eli eyeshadow palette with 18 super pigmented nude shades, because you don't need to drop $100 to achieve the perfect smokey eye. Though your skills may lead people to believe you did.
2. A set of stainless steel straws that'll make helping to save the sea turtles look so posh. Even if you're drinking tap water.
3. An Ohii vegan peel-off mask for making a *head-turning* Insta story all thanks to this shiny, metallic finish. Overpriced spas? More like overrated.
4. A silky button-down nightshirt so beauty sleep has a whole new meaning — or more like so you look great while staying in your house 24/7. We'll call it ~luxury lounging~.
5. A set of Harry Potter makeup brushes, because sadly accio Gringotts won't work for us. BUT these will amp up your makeup game with just the flick of your wrist.
6. A mesh and lace bralette that'll instantly transform any old T-shirt without forcing your bank account to take a *plunge*.
7. A set of press-on nails so you can nix expensive gel manis, but still have the same pro-level look ~on hand~. The name of the salon? Uh...Chez Moi.
8. An insulated stemless glass, because red plastic cups are simply beneath you. Our wine is too expensive for such treatment — just don't ask us to prove it.
9. A printed shower curtain that'll leave guests *starry eyed* when they enter your bathroom. In fact so much sparkle will be in their eyes, they won't even notice all your beauty products are drugstore.
10. A pack of monarch playing cards for making sure all your parties are a ~royal flush~. So what if you hid all your clutter under your bed? Things like that are lost in the shuffle when you're the queen of hosting game night.
11. A pair of corset leggings so people never catch on that you live your life in sweats. When you look this trendy, it's easy to get a *leg up* on comfy dressing. Long 👏 live 👏 athleisure 👏.
12. A colorblock fleece throw blanket, because this + the old couch you've had since college = all new living room. Unless Chip and Joanna are coming over, this is how we're redecorating.
13. A fuzzy fleece jacket that'll upgrade the leggings you've been wearing for two weeks now to your most successful OOTD post yet. The magic of trendy toppers.
14. A trio of yellow gold-plated bracelets for chicly accessorizing without feeling like your bank account is stacked against you. These will give you a little trick up your sleeve.
15. A NYX liquid eyeliner so you can finally master the cat eye, aka the crème de la crème of makeup. This checks off all the boxes to help ya: it's super-pigmented (this ink is blacker than black), has a smooth AF formula for easy application, and boasts a tip so fine, you can play with graphic line designs.
16. A lunch tote bag, because ditching the brown paper bag for this makes bringing leftovers to work very, very sophisticated. It's called "I have student loans chic".
17. A bow scrunchie that'll bring your ponytail to new heights on days we were just too busy to make our morning blowout appointment. Yep, that's our story and we're sticking to it.
18. A set of constellation magnets for ~vastly~ improving your fridge's aesthetic. It was written in the stars for you to upgrade your fridge this month, as long as it's cheaper than your nightly takeout.
19. A pair of anti-chafing thigh bands so our more unglamorous moments are taken care of by essentially gorgeous lingerie. I'd like to see you do THAT, La Perla.
20. A vintage-inspired glass perfume bottle, because everyone's *vanity* is boosted by a little elegant decor. And will this make even drugstore scents seem luxurious? You. Bet.
21. A purse strap that'll give new life to your previously forgotten bags. Why, yes...I did just get this from Barney's. The brand? Um, "Old Label."
22. A velvet tunic dress with embroidered sleeves for always *flourishing* in compliments without allowing your bank account to wither.
23. A set of rainbow knives so your kitchen says less of "I forgot I even had an oven" and more "You better believe I'm the next Ina Garten." Just working on getting that Hamptons house...
24. A pair of faux-leather platform oxfords, because you deserve to kick off the season with footwear that looks straight off the runway — minus the need to take out a small loan.
25. A striped corduroy skirt that'll add some unexpected texture to your ensemble — which is fancy talk for "makes your old sweaters look brand spanking new."
26. An art deco coloring book for quite the sophisticated pastime. I'm pretty sure this was Daisy's favorite activity, especially when done in public as a humblebrag. It's not easy being this creative AND effortlessly elegant, am I right?
27. A pair of cat eye sunglasses so your new go-to accessory never ~reflects~ how much you spent. Quite the opposite, in fact.
28. A rose-gold insulated water bottle, because this won't run your savings dry — but it sure will make your friends thirsty for your high-end taste.
29. A geometric crossbody that'll literally glow in the light. Why settle for a cheap knockoff of something, when you can get something this unique?
Five minutes into owning these things and you're already like:
Looking for more ~amazingly cheap finds~? Search no further:
* 31 Cool And Random Things You Can Probably Afford
* 29 Aww-Worthy Things You Can Definitely Afford