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1. A giant 1-pound Snickers bar, because the fastest way to anyone's heart is to their stomach, and this will probably get there wayyyy faster than most.
2. A pair of glowing light saber chopsticks to bring balance to the Force *and* to their sushi — whether they're repping the dark side or the light.
3. A "You're My Person" candle, so when they light it up on Valentine's Day, you can pull a full Bridgerton and tell them, "I burn for you."
4. Plus a rose gold rechargeable electric lighter they can use to replace all their old gas ones. This one is not only chic as heck, but completely flameless, and made with a long stem so they can use it to light gas burners and larger candles.
5. A Geekey multitool for the Valentine who considers themselves the resident "fix-it" — this gives them over a dozen *more* ways to do just that.
6. A five-year One Line A Day journal so when you finally get to catch up on Zoom each week, they'll have a lil' cheat sheet of all the happy memories they want to fill you in on.
7. A zodiac sign ring dish that make a perfect little V-Day pick-me-up for everyone on your squad, since even far apart your love for each other outshines the stars ✨.
8. A hot sauce gift box so the romance on the Zoom chat won't be the only thing bringing the heat to their Valentine's Day dinner.
9. A 25-pack of Baked By Melissa cupcakes full to the brim with Valentine's Day flavors for anyone whose love language is "all the cake, please and thank you."
10. A Rosetta Stone subscription to help them learn a new language with a custom learning plan so the next time you get on Zoom together, they can impress you with all the new ways they've learned to say "I love you." 😘
11. A bottle of Mike's Hot Honey for anyone who has a sweet *and* spicy tooth. Not only will this add a unique depth to their favorite dishes, it pairs quiiiite beautifully with all the Valentine's Day fare (read: heart-shaped pizza, Ben & Jerry's, and strawberries).
12. A Baby Yoda Bluetooth speaker complete with a lil' strap so they can pin him onto their backpack and take him wherever they roam 😭. Pair it with a playlist full of romantic V-Day bops, and you're raring to go.
13. A truly iconic tortilla blanket so the Chipotle fan in your life can achieve what is arguably the most romantic aspiration of them all: becoming a human burrito.
14. A pair of dainty gold dahlia earrings, a flower that isn't just beautiful, but has important symbolism — it's said to represent long lasting love and commitment ❤️.
15. An assortment of Milk Bar cookies from the iconic New York-based bakery, aka the ultimate dessert bragging right — ordinarily you have to stand in line for a bajillion years for one of these!
16. A sophisticated whiskey tumbler you can get etched with a map of a city you both love, or the next place you plan to travel together when it's safe 🌎.
17. An "Among Us" composition book you can use both as a gift *and* an alibi — you couldn't be the impostor! You were writing them socially distanced love letters in this gift the whole time!
18. A set of Bluetooth-connected long-distance touch bracelets you can pair so that when one of you is thinking of the other, you can tap the bracelet, and the corresponding one will vibrate and light up in the color of your choice 🌈.
19. A bunch of teensy macaron boxes they can use to add a little bit of Parisian romance to so many little corners of their life, whether it's storing pills, jewelry, cash, or just as a cute display in a pastel room.
20. An entire platter of gummy sushi, because when it comes to Valentine's Day candy, this is one of the most delicious ways to ~roll~.
21. A fill-in-the-blank book you can send them with references to all of the sweetest memories you have of each other, so you can spend Valentine's Day reliving the magic ❤️.
22. A customizable Disney Levi's tote bag you can get in a variety of iconic characters, so they can look down at your names on it every day and be like, "It ... us!!"
23. A silicone Nutella AirPods case to gift in honor of their one true Valentine, which is, of course, anything with Nutella slathered on it.
24. A delivery of Winc wines for the Valentine who has *strong opinions* about their varietal. This way they can choose for themselves (and enjoy our collective new favorite varietal of wine: the "pick it up from the doorstep" kind).
25. A customizable Glossier Balm Dotcom trio gift set full of ultra-hydrating, gorgeously subtle colors you can hand-pick for the Valentine who's *never* caught dead without a lip balm on hand.
26. A Drinking Animals Coloring Book complete with recipes for themed cocktails on each page, so you can spice up Zoom date nights by making matching Llamaritas together.
27. A Harry & David Valentine's Day gift box so massive that it's really less what comes in it and more what doesn't? This is pretty much the best way to have every single one of your V-Day bases covered.
28. A personalized barware crate so they can basically have their own at-home brewery, complete with custom pint glasses and bottle opener. The most fun bit, though, is that they genuinely have to pry open the sealed wooden crate with a crow bar — a big gifting mood if there ever were one.
29. A spooky skull-shaped ice mold to let everyone know that y'all are taking the whole "ride or die" part of being each other's Valentines seriously, no matter the distance.
30. A ginormous 1-pound bag of cereal marshmallows they'll love so much that uhhh, whoops. It might actually emotionally replace you as their Valentine.
31. A Harry Styles-inspired print for anyone whose love for you and Harry Styles is on a ~fine line~.
32. A Mickey Mouse-inspired wallet so they can put a little whimsy into running their errands with just enough room for coins, credit cards, and, of course, a lil' photo of you.
33. A box of 100 conversation starters so your Valentine's Day Zoom date night can be spent talking about something genuinely meaningful instead of just a cycle of, "Not much, how about you?" over and over again.
34. An Atlas Coffee Club subscription for the Valentine in your life who's always Gilmore Girls level of caffeinated, and can't ever seem to stay fully stocked — this will send them a different gourmet coffee from around the world every month, along with tasting notes, brewing instructions, and a postcard from the country it's from. Does anything say true love quite like caffeinating them from afar?
35. Plus a compact milk frother to make everything they drink taste like it was lovingly handcrafted by the Starbucks mermaid herself.
36. An affordable cooling weighted blanket made with natural glass beads on the inside with weighted pressure that some reviewers say helps with insomnia and anxiety — the perfect solution for snuggling when you can't be there to snuggle them yourself!
37. A Magnolia Bakery ~date night~ box complete with two cupcakes and two of their iconic banana puddings, the original flavor and the *pink* one with little pieces of cake in it. (If one half of the couple you're sending it to breaks up fighting over the pink one, that's on you, though.)
38. A basketball hoop mug so whenever they slam dunk a marshmallow through the hoop, they'll remember they've won both the game *and* your love.
39. A flexible universal tablet stand so they don't have to crane their neck or tire out their arms just to marathon reruns of Parks and Rec or FaceTime with you in the mornings ❤️.
40. A "Hug This Pillow Until You Can Hug Me" pillowcase to keep you company (and keep all your hugging muscles flexed and raring to go for next time!).
41. A compact mini donut maker for anyone with a sweet tooth — truly, can you think of anything in this universe more swoon-worthy than a warm homemade donut?? I'll wait.
42. A bathtub caddy that will turn their bathroom into an oasis. Pinot? Poured. Candle? Lit. That travel series where Zac Efron wears a ton of beanies? Queued. Now all they have to do is calmly explain to everyone that they live in a tub now.
43. A braided leather USB bracelet that's (gasp) secretly also an iPhone charging cord, so they can tug it off to FaceTime you even when their battery is trying its best to die.
44. An Amazon Echo Show 5 enabled with a camera screen for calls, so you can keep all the people in your heart connected for some socially distanced cross-country chats.
45. A Bluetooth-enabled record player you can pair with a record that means something to both of you, whether it's a concert date you went on or the album that has your ~couple song~ on it.
46. A smart LED lightbulb set they can sync with home devices like Alexa and Google Assistant (or just Bluetooth!) to finally get light at their *precise* Zoom happy hour aesthetic, whether it's a group hang with their friends or a romantic one-on-one all lit up in red.
All of us sending socially-distanced kisses to loved ones who are far away:
