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1. A set of light-dimming stickers, so you can finally stop shoving your pillow over your eyeballs whenever you tilt your face toward one of the LED lights blasting their glow like tiny UFOs in your room at night.
2. A "wine wand" to remove sulfates and histamines from your vino, so you can stop telling yourself that it's just a "headache" when, in fact, you are an adult hungover from one (1) glass of two-buck Chuck.
3. A headband with lil' kitty ears way more effective at holding your hair in place while you wash your face than your usual tried and true practice of attempting to shove it into your bra straps to stay dry.
4. A pair of wireless noise-cancelling headphones to drown out the apocalyptic sounds of your desk mate opening their Sun Chips bag in your open office instead of passive-aggressively wincing your way through lunch.
5. A set of bed bands that will lock your fitted sheets neatly into place so you can stop shoving the loose corners under your duvet whenever you're too tired to remake your whole bed in the morning.
6. A size adjuster for loose rings, because truly whomst on this earth has the time to go all the way to a jeweler and have a stranger squint at their finger?
7. A mug warmer to keep your coffee piping hot long after you brew it, so you don't have to settle for lukewarm beans when the trip to the office microwave seems too harrowing to manage.
8. A backseat hook perfect for purses and groceries, so you don't have to drive 10 miles under the speed limit to stop your seltzers from flying into your poor unsuspecting fruit every time you drive back from the grocery.
9. A set of velvet hangers that cling to your clothes more firmly to stop them from slip n' sliding to the bottom of your closet, where there may or may not be a small mountain of clothes forming. Plus, they're built with a thin design that will dramatically free up space.
10. A roll-on migraine stick made with peppermint, spearmint, and lavender oils that a ton of people swear by to take the edge off their headaches. This > white knuckling it through your workday like the on-fire "this is fine" dog.
11. A mini steamer for your clothes that heats up in literally a minute and a half, so you can stop doing that thing where you hang your shirts up on the door while you're in the shower and pray to the fabric gods that the wrinkles magically disappear.
12. A durable set of space-saving vacuum storage bags so you can finally store all your extra bedding and winter clothes in your closet instead of fruitlessly shoving them back in every time they topple off the top shelf onto the floor.
13. A hair finishing cream for taking care of those little wisps and flyaways that don't quite make it into your ponytail — a far better solution than shoving a baseball cap over your head and calling it a day.
14. A set of dishwasher cleaning tablets you can pop into a cycle with your dirty dishes to wipe out all the extra grime and that funky smell, all without ever having to touch a sponge or any other kind of cleaning utensil.
15. A makeup brush shampoo specifically designed to get all the gunk of your leftover foundation out, sparing you the indignity of buying yet *another* set of new brushes because you didn't keep up with cleaning them.
16. A self-grooming cat toy so your cat can have a time ~feeling themselves~ and you can have an even better time putting off vacuuming for another week.
17. A TubShroom you can stick in your shower drain to catch all your hair before you need a plumber to un-clog it, thereby saving you from the worst task imaginable: making a phone call.
18. Too little, too late? Try a drain snake you can funnel into your shower drain that honestly works a little *too* well at unclogging hair. (Gross, but still better than the phone call thing!!)
19. An undated budget planner that is far less stress-inducing than putting a hand over your eyes and checking your bank account balance between your fingers once a month.
20. A hanging tool organizer for all those odds and ends you perilously shoved into a closet or left chilling at random places in your garage, swearing you'd get to them ~someday~. Well, friend. Today's that day.
21. An earwax removal kit, so you don't have to wait until your yearly physical for your doctor to be like "um WHOA" and fix it for you. This is quicker, easier, and will be a huge relief for those of us waxy individuals who sometimes wake up in the morning with an ear so fully clogged up that it feels like you're underwater.
22. A cushioned comfort mat designed to alleviate pressure from your poor feet when you're standing in one place for a long time, so you don't have to invest in orthotics to spend a Sunday in the kitchen trying to live out your Great British Bake-Off dreams.
23. An iced coffee sleeve for you lawless folks still chugging cold java all year long and INSISTING, for whatever reason (stubbornness? pride??), that your digits aren't freezing off. We all know the truth and the truth is that you probably need this to protect your fingers from yourself.
24. A pair of lacy thigh bands so you don't have to pull trig on buying a bunch of expensive, wedgie-inducing compression shorts when you want to flounce around in dresses.
25. A bitter-tasting clear nail polish that will help you kick your nail-biting habit so thoroughly that you'll finally be able to face the manicurist at the salon again.
26. A cable clip you can stick to your desk or your nightstand to keep your charging cable locked in one convenient place — a true relief from trying to tug them out through the genuine knot of cables that's been steadily getting more tangled under your desk.
27. A set of bed risers that will open up extra storage space, so you can finally take all those bulky odds and ends you've been ignoring in your hall closet and do what the universe always intended for humans to do: indiscriminately shove it all under your bed.
28. A bedside caddy so you can finally give your laptop a HOME instead of falling asleep with it next to you on the bed every night like a 13-inch metal teddy bear.
You dancing through your space now that everything is running exactly the way it should be:
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