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1. A mini leather wallet you can stick to the back of your phone case, sparing you from the five seconds of sheer, unadulterated panic when you can't remember which pocket you stuck your ID in on a walk around the neighborhood.
2. A set of Bottle Bright tablets so you can easily clear all those caked-on stains in your bottles, travel mugs, and even coffee makers without scrubbing them into eternity.
3. A super-soft Makeup Eraser to wipe makeup right off your face with nothing but water and a gentle scrub — I've been using one for two months now and it has *drastically* cut down my routine (and saved money on makeup remover!!).
4. A bottle of wood polish that will make your all your scuffed-up doors, hardwood floors, and furniture look so spanking new you'll wonder if it's not wood polish, but a time machine.
5. A popular streak-free anti-fog spray you can quickly apply to eyeglasses, sunglasses, and face shields to prevent them from fogging up (especially when wearing a face mask!) — if you're gonna face all the messes in your life, you'll want to be able to take in the ~full view~.
6. A set of gold cable organizers you can stick to your desk or your nightstand to keep your charging cable locked in one convenient place — a true relief from trying to tug them out through the genuine knot of cables that's been steadily getting more tangled under your desk.
7. A self-grooming cat toy so your cat can have a time ~feeling themselves~ and you can have an even better not finding hairballs all over your bedroom when you're trying to get your life together.
8. A set of dishwasher-cleaning tablets you can pop into a cycle with your dirty dishes to wipe out all the extra grime and that funky smell you were low-key hoping would just go away on its own.
9. An adorably encouraging daily planner you can fill out throughout the course of each day to keep yourself on track for all your calls, goals, and even your water intake. It's like you've got your own babysitter in a note pad, basically.
10. Or for more abstract task masters, a "Today's Top Three" pad from Noted by Post-it so you can prioritize your life's messes in a more manageable, less intimidating way.
11. A set of produce-saver storage containers designed to keep your fruits and veggies fresh way longer than usual, so you won't be in a constant race against time to cram your produce into your mouth before the mold sets in.
12. A set of bed bands that will lock your fitted sheets neatly into place so you can stop shoving the loose corners under your duvet whenever you're too tired to remake your whole bed in the morning.
13. A charging station for anyone whose kitchen counter has become a tangled hub of family members pulling each other's phones out of the charger — this comes with slots to organize six devices, *plus* six USB fast ports ands six short mixed USB cables so you can finally feel the sheer, unadulterated joy of organized bliss.
14. A four-tier slim wheeled kitchen organizer for my personal favorite kind of storage: the ~sneaky~ kind. This easily navigates tight spaces and gives you some extra room to stash clutter-inducing things like condiments, ingredients for whatever baking project you're working on, or cans and bottles of water.
15. A set of brush and flush toilet tabs made with baking soda that'll fizz up in your toilet for 10 minutes and make it super easy for you to brush away the gunk.
16. A cult-favorite Athena Club Razor Kit with blades specifically designed to handle curves *and* sensitive skin — like so well-designed that the razors are enhanced with shea butter to make shaving cream *optional*. But more importantly for those of us living that ~hot mess life~, you can get replacement blades on a personalized subscription, and the razor comes with a rust-proof magnetic hook so you don't have to worry about adding even more clutter to your poor shower.
17. A 3D mouth bracket that clips to the inside of your face mask to keep you from breathing in fabric and getting lipstick stains all over your favorite reusable masks.
18. A pair of super popular high-waisted performance leggings that may be one of the few articles of clothing that can keep up with you — they're comfortable, squat-proof, and most importantly, come with a *MEGA* secure pocket for your phone and a teensy *secret* pocket for your keys, so you can keep all your important belongings on your person.
19. A bunch of Miracle-Gro "food spikes" that can bring plants as sad as the tree from A Charlie Brown Christmas back from the brink of death, and will continuously feed them for 30 to 60 days while you get the rest of your life in order.
20. A mold and mildew removal gel you can leave on the offending spots for six hours, then wipe away like nothing nefarious ever grew there in the first place.
21. A Focused & Fabulous candle you can get in one of seven signature scents to keep you relaxed and focused even on days when you are one SURPRISE DISTRACTION away from losing your last marble.
22. A fume-free oven cleaner that's gentle enough that you don't need protective gloves to use it, but tough enough that it'll erase the evidence of all your baking misadventures and that time you fell asleep while cooking pizza rolls.
23. A subscription to EveryPlate, an affordable, easy-to-use meal kit service that you can customize to your needs instead of overbuying groceries and ending up with a fridge full of nearly-expired food you're throwing into mystery stews.
24. A power scrubber brush you can attach to a DRILL (!!) that basically does all of the hard grime-busting so fast that you'll have eons of time left to deal with all those *other* messes you've been putting off.
25. A broom for pet and human hair that can work on any type of floor, but is specifically designed to pull it up from the carpet faster and deeper than even a lot of vacuums can reach. In less than five minutes you'll find out what color your carpet's *actually* been the whole time!
26. A pair of cut-resistant gloves for anyone whose cooking style is every bit as messy as their human life — these are designed to be four times stronger (!!) than leather to keep your digits safe.
27. Tide Free & Gentle Liquid Laundry Detergent, an unscented, hypoallergenic version that will give you the same squeaky cleanliness *without* making your skin break out or irritate allergies (because truly, the last thing you need while taking care of one mess is somehow causing another!!).
28. A set of streak-free lens wipes that are gentle on your glasses, camera lenses, and phone and laptop screens, but will also help remove bacteria and that honey buffalo dip you got a little too enthusiastic about while you were texting.
29. A pretty pastel mug warmer to keep your tea and coffee warm for you whenever your highly distractible self emerges from a tangle of Slack DMs or emails each morning.
30. A red wine stain-removing spray that magically erases both old and new red wine stains from fabric so even the most notorious hot messes among us can fearlessly lounge on your white duvet while sipping your deep-red pinot the way God and Olivia Pope intended.
31. An internet-beloved dry shampoo spray that will help absorb excess oil and give your roots so much oomph that you'll shenanigan everyone into thinking your Day 3 hair is actually Day 1. One less mess to deal with two out of three days sounds like a win.
32. A smudgeproof eyeliner stamp so you can finally get the perfect cat-eye on the first go without having to ~wing it~ (read: wasting eight cotton balls, half a bottle of eye makeup remover, and all of the minutes you were setting aside to make your morning coffee).
33. A contemporary accent mirror that's the perfect size for the entry way to your apartment, so you can check your reflection on your way out the door to make sure you haven't somehow, against all odds, managed to get pizza sauce in your hair again. (This also is an excellent way to give the ~illusion~ of more space in a room if you're prone to clutter!)
34. A slim organizer tray for your cutlery that will save you so much drawer space that you'll feel like you just opened an extra pocket in the time-space-fork continuum. No more jamming the messy drawer shut and praying it stays that way, y'all!
35. Plus a set of clear drawer organizers that will finally force you to reckon with the abyss of your "junk drawers" once and for all. Start with the makeup one, move onto the kitchen one, and then — if you dare — tackle the one in your nightstand, too.
36. A mini contact lens case so you can always have a backup pair on hand for when you inevitably lose one of the contacts you're already wearing (with things as inconvenient as this, it's less a matter of if, and more a matter of when).
37. A customizable herbal sleep pillow that may help soothe your nerves before bed and give you a calmer, more restful sleep — because honestly, sometimes all we really need to un-mess up our own hot messes is some quality shut-eye.
38. A ring size adjuster for loose rings, so you're no longer *that* person crawling around the floor of your apartment building every time your ring slides off.
39. A shower curtain with POCKETS, because the utter delight of extra pockets should not be limited to surprise ones in dresses. Now you can store all your extra brushes, soaps, razors, and other odds and ends at eye level, instead of letting them perilously crash into the shower from the edges you propped them on before.
40. A Lay-n-Go cosmetic bag that fans out to become a mat, essentially letting you lean into the mess that is your life by actively encouraging you to do your favorite thing: dump a bunch of stuff into a bag and deal with it later.
41. A jewelry-cleaning stick with cleansing solution on a brush designed specifically to get in the nooks and crannies of your jewelry, so anyone who sees the glint of your perfectly clean rings will be like, "Wow, that's a person whose life looks like it's probably not a mess!"
42. A faux-leather bench with ~secret storage~, because if we're all being honest here, even the deepest of cleans will leave you with a bunch of miscellaneous objects that don't quite have a home. Now they do, and it's QUITE chic.
43. A set of floating shelves that will give you some extra surfaces to hold your stuff, because shelves are a foolproof way to turn your "mess" into ~art~.
44. A customizable dry erase door hanger so you can let other people in your home know that this is extremely not the time to barge in and make a cameo on your Zoom call when you are trying to play the role of Serious Business Person Whose Life Is Fully Together, Thank You.
45. A multilevel jewelry stand to free you from the 10 minutes you spend every morning untangling your necklace from your bracelet that is also somehow tangled in ANOTHER necklace like an endless shiny ravine.
46. An opaque, understated laundry hamper that'll blend in with the decor, unlike that see-through mesh one that's been getting steadily grosser since you banished it to the far side of your bed.
47. A sunrise simulation clock to trick your human brain into thinking you're already dappled in the light of a bright, sunshiny day when you wake up, so you can start tackling your little messes earlier in the day and with a much clearer head.
You walking away from the hot messes in your life entirely unscathed:
