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21 Ways To Forget About Your Ex For Good

Leave that chump in 2016's dust.

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1. Quit stalking.


Delete their Facebook and block them on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest. Wipe the slate clean and remove all temptation to go snooping through their pages. All it does is make you obsess over what they're up to, and remind you of how cute they look under a Valencia filter. Not good.

2. Throw yourself into your work.

Instagram: @callierose92

The sweetest revenge is success. Take all that pent-up energy and channel it into your career.

3. Take off the rose-tinted spectacles.

Tumblr / Via

After a relationship ends, it's easy to look back and idealise everything. Sure, you had good times. But there were bad times too. And come on, they're not ~that~ hot. Sit down and make a list of all the things that annoyed you about your ex, as well as all the times you fought or were unhappy in the relationship. Then, every time you start to think how perfect they are, reread it for some perspective.


4. No more "accidentally" bumping into them.

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Just because you know where they work, who they hang out with, and what they're into does not mean you should use that information. If you turn up somewhere you think they're going to be, the situation will NOT go like you think it will. They won't see you, magically realise what an arse they've been, and fall at your feet. Most likely you'll exchange a few words, it'll be intensely awkward, and worse, they'll probably think you're a bit desperate and want you even less.

Or they won't turn up at all and you'll spend all night feeling miserable somewhere you don't even really want to be.

5. Stop comparing yourself.

Instagram: @joelisacoolkid

As ol' Theodore Roosevelt (a very wise man) once said: "Comparison is the thief of joy." There's no happiness to be found in comparing yourself to your ex's new love, so don't torture yourself by looking.

No matter how amazing you are, it's difficult to not feel lacking in some way when you hold yourself up against someone else. But remember, there's only one you, and there's someone out there who will want you and no one else.

7. Work out how much you're saving now that you're single.

Instagram: @toby_t_ellison

No more travel fare to go see them, or money for fancy dates and presents. Work out exactly how much cash you're saving now you're solo, then go and blow it on something amazing just for you.


8. Properly grieve.

Flight of the Conchords

if you've been bottling up how you feel, it's time to let it out. Having a big cry or rant to your friends is hugely cathartic and shouldn't be skipped. Give yourself time to grieve too. It's part and parcel of any breakup and there's no short cut around it.

9. But know when it's time to stop talking about it.

MTV / Via

Talking too much about something will end up with you just going round in circles. You can talk and talk and talk and it won't change anything. At a certain point, all you're doing is rehashing bad memories. Sometimes it's time to stop talking and take positive actions towards moving on instead.

10. Read voraciously.

Instagram: @champagnesupernovablog

Books are balm for the soul. Reread all your old favourites, or lose yourself in something new. Both A Single Man and Tiny Beautiful Things are corkers.

11. If they're not your friend, stop trying to be friends.

Castle Rock Entertainment / Via

Are they really your friend? Do you really need them as your friend? Or is having them as your friend just another way of not letting go? Sometimes relationships can turn into wonderful and long-lasting friendships. Sometimes they were a wonderful chapter of your life, but a chapter that's best left in the past.

Don't be "friends" just because you feel like you have to be. If you're not getting anything positive from a friendship, cut those ties.


12. Feng shui your bedroom.

Instagram: @mdemulher

New sheets and a total bedroom overhaul. Get rid of any old memories and smells and make your space feel like ~yours~ again.

14. Remember who you are.

Instagram: @innerselfspiration

You are a strong, intelligent, talented individual who is not defined by 1) your relationship, or 2) your heartbreak. Are you a kind person who's been acting unkindly because of your heartache? Are you an independent person who ended up co-dependent on another? No one is worth losing sight of who you are for. It's time to reclaim yourself from your former twosome.

15. Volunteer for something.

Instagram: @adandyline

Sign up to help out in your community, volunteer with a local charity, or look into any of the other myriad ways you can donate your time to a worthy cause. Not only will it keep you busy, you'll be directing your time and energy towards something more worthwhile than thinking about your ex.


16. Plan a trip.

Instagram: @purenewzealand

It doesn't have to be somewhere crazy. You just need a change of scenery for a while to get into a different headspace.

17. Take (some) responsibility.


OK, if they cheated on you, were a total fuckboy, or you know for 100% fact you were a complete angel throughout the whole relationship, ignore this.

But otherwise, part of the healing process of a breakup is accepting you both made mistakes. Maybe they made MORE mistakes. They might have acted really badly and be deserving of your anger. But also realise that you're not perfect either, and use that to try to let some of your anger go, because anger is only ever a double-edged sword.

18. Forgive yourself.

Instagram: @littlefieldlane

Stop beating yourself up for being sad. And for that time you fell into a Facebook stalking hole five people deep. AND for hanging around their favourite coffee shop far more than necessary. Being mad at yourself only means that the breakup is still playing on your mind, which will stop you from moving on.

And if you need help not being so hard on yourself, remember there's actual ~science~ behind why people do crazy stuff when they're heartbroken. Find out about it here.

19. Realise that love doesn't always happen like in the movies.

Paramount Pictures

Movies aren't real life, and yet we're all guilty of acting like they are. We hold on to things that are over because we want that perfect makeup scene. We keep seeing someone that's wrong for us, or worse, an emotional scumbag, because we want them to magically change and create the dramatic love story we're told we should want.

Stop waiting for the person you've decided is your romantic lead to get their shit together, and start looking for something real. Life doesn't follow film plots, and sometimes all you need is someone sweet who makes you laugh rather than a James Dean wannabe.


20. Accept that breakups are part of life.

Instagram: @societykilledagirl

When you think about it, all relationships end in either a breakup or death. It sounds morbid, but it's also incredibly freeing. If your partner isn't The One, the only other option is to break up. To stay with them after you know it's not right would only be wasting your time and theirs. Now you can get out there and focus on finding the person who could actually be your forever person.

21. Just do you.

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Try not to stress too much about whether you're over it or not. The best healer for heartbreak is time, pure and simple. so throw yourself into living your life without overthinking too much, and one day, you'll look up from what you're doing and realise you can't remember the last time you thought about your ex.

Maybe it doesn't feel like it right now, but that day will come and leave you wondering what you ever saw in them.