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23 Essential Songs For Your Anti-Valentine's Day Playlist

So. Over. It.

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1. "Company" by Tinashe

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Tinashe is fierce as fuck, talented and knows how to a deliver a *screw your love expectations* tune like no one else. This Valentine's, don't get on board with relationships. Get on board with Tinashe.

2. "Boys Will Be Boys" by Benny

Less Valentine's Day pink hearts. More exploration of the effect of gender roles on young men. Plus, this song is *super* catchy.
Benny

Less Valentine's Day pink hearts. More exploration of the effect of gender roles on young men. Plus, this song is *super* catchy.

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3. "On My Own" by Hawai

Anyone makes a comment about your relationship status, just turn this up and sing along. Loudly.
Hawai

Anyone makes a comment about your relationship status, just turn this up and sing along. Loudly.

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4. "Not In Love" by M.O.

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"Not in love with you. I want to shout it and tell the world, I love it, I'm not your girl." Preach it.

5. "Trust Nobody" by Selena Gomez and Cashmere Cat

This is the point in the playlist where I get bitter and cynical, and then get more bitter and cynical.
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This is the point in the playlist where I get bitter and cynical, and then get more bitter and cynical.

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6. "End Up Here" by Claire

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A beautifully mournful reminder of the worst part of relationship break downs, when you end up going round in circles ad infinitum. How did we end up here again? Best to break the cycle and go it alone.

7. "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon

Need to get out of a bad relationship? Here's some ideas. And if you're in the same situation as the woman in this song, lying in bed giving your bedmate suggestions for leaving their other lover FOR FUCKS SAKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LEAVE NOW. COME TO MY PLACE. WE'LL HAVE A SLEEPOVER. I'LL BRAID YOUR HAIR AND WE'LL WATCH EVERY EPISODE OF GOSSIP GIRL. IT'LL BE GREAT.
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Need to get out of a bad relationship? Here's some ideas.

And if you're in the same situation as the woman in this song, lying in bed giving your bedmate suggestions for leaving their other lover FOR FUCKS SAKE WHAT ARE YOU DOING, LEAVE NOW. COME TO MY PLACE. WE'LL HAVE A SLEEPOVER. I'LL BRAID YOUR HAIR AND WE'LL WATCH EVERY EPISODE OF GOSSIP GIRL. IT'LL BE GREAT.

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8. "Bad Boys" by Zara Larsson

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Everyone has a "bad boy/girl" story. Listen to this, remember what it was like, then let out a deep breath and thank your stars you're not with them anymore. There's better ways to spend your time, like learning Zara's dance routine in this video.

9. "Sucker" by Charli XCX

Angela Carter once said that her writing, "cuts like a steel blade at the base of a man's penis." I would also say this of this song. Brutally precise sarcasm wrapped up in a pretty girl-gang pop package. My dream aesthetic.
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Angela Carter once said that her writing, "cuts like a steel blade at the base of a man's penis." I would also say this of this song. Brutally precise sarcasm wrapped up in a pretty girl-gang pop package. My dream aesthetic.

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10. "Heartless" by Kanye West

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My 2008 breakup anthem. Still on point eight years later. FYI, if you want to get properly mopey, listen to The Fray's cover of this song.

11. "False Alarm" by The Weeknd

Be the dark philosophy you want to see in the world.
The Weeknd

Be the dark philosophy you want to see in the world.

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12. "Dancing On My Own" by Robyn

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Just the right amount of sad heartbreak lyrics teamed with strong fuck you synths. Just keep dancing on your own lovely, you're gonna be fine.

13. "Gone As A Friend" by Park Hotel

This is great because it works for both lover breakups AND friend breakups.
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This is great because it works for both lover breakups AND friend breakups.

14. "Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees)" by Aerosmith

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If you feel like all the couples are getting to you, go to your room, turn this up loud, dance about like a loon and don't come out until you feel ALIVE again. Works like a charm.

15. "Love Stinks" by The J.Gelis Band

The original anti-Valentine's Day song. Good in 1980. Good now.
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The original anti-Valentine's Day song. Good in 1980. Good now.

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16. "Lonely Boy" by Matt Corby

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I mean, 1. If you're lonely this Valentine's, this is the masochistically sad song to listen to, and 2. If you're lonely, look at Matt Corby and convince yourself that really, you're just holding out for someone with soulful eyes, long hair and a guitar who's isn't a total plonker. That white unicorn must exist. Somewhere. THEY CAN'T ALL BE PLONKERS.

....They might all be plonkers.

17. "Blue Valentines" by Tom Waits

Ahh Tom Waits. You sing my soul Tom Waits.
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Ahh Tom Waits. You sing my soul Tom Waits.

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18. "Sweetheart What Have You Done To Us?" by Keaton Henson

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If you are newly single, or not over a breakup, you need Keaton Henson in your life. Keaton is the flesh and blood manifestation of all heartbreak in the world. He's a single, tragic tear rolling down a cheek made into human form. He is here for you when you want to wallow in a million blankets and go over every shitty thing your last ex ever did. Start with "Lying To You" and don't stop until you're listening, near-comatose, to "Sweetheart What Have You Done To Us".

19. "Skip to The End" by The Futureheads

Circa 2012, my newly ex-boyfriend posted this song on his Facebook wall, then quickly deleted it, because that's the kind of shit we did back then. Obviously, I saw it. But honestly, this song is banging and one of the best things I ever got out of a breakup – along with better mental health and a stronger sense of self worth.
onestepbrighter.wordpress.com

Circa 2012, my newly ex-boyfriend posted this song on his Facebook wall, then quickly deleted it, because that's the kind of shit we did back then. Obviously, I saw it. But honestly, this song is banging and one of the best things I ever got out of a breakup – along with better mental health and a stronger sense of self worth.

embed.spotify.com

20. "Settle Down" by Kimbra

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Goals for 2017: nail both Kimbra's dancing style and her cutting sarcasm.

21. "Good As Hell" by Lizzo

I defy you to listen to this and not feel instantly better about any non-happy-couple situation you may be in right now. How you feeling, my loves? Answer: Good. As. Hell.
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I defy you to listen to this and not feel instantly better about any non-happy-couple situation you may be in right now. How you feeling, my loves? Answer: Good. As. Hell.

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22. "Dream On" by Amy MacDonald

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Amy MacDonald, soundtrack to my university experience, is back with a tune that is all your positive, moving on hopes and dreams in one. "On top of the world and on the right track" – this is you. Do not forget it.

23. "Q.U.E.E.N." by Janelle Monae

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As with all things, the best way to deal with Valentine's annoyance is embracing self love. This song, and Janelle Monae in everything she does, is the embodiment of this.

Listen to the full playlist here:

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Got a music suggestion? Tweet me.