1. "Company" by Tinashe
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Tinashe is fierce as fuck, talented and knows how to a deliver a *screw your love expectations* tune like no one else. This Valentine's, don't get on board with relationships. Get on board with Tinashe.
2. "Boys Will Be Boys" by Benny
3. "On My Own" by Hawai
4. "Not In Love" by M.O.
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"Not in love with you. I want to shout it and tell the world, I love it, I'm not your girl." Preach it.
5. "Trust Nobody" by Selena Gomez and Cashmere Cat
6. "End Up Here" by Claire
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A beautifully mournful reminder of the worst part of relationship break downs, when you end up going round in circles ad infinitum. How did we end up here again? Best to break the cycle and go it alone.
7. "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover" by Paul Simon
8. "Bad Boys" by Zara Larsson
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Everyone has a "bad boy/girl" story. Listen to this, remember what it was like, then let out a deep breath and thank your stars you're not with them anymore. There's better ways to spend your time, like learning Zara's dance routine in this video.
9. "Sucker" by Charli XCX
10. "Heartless" by Kanye West
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My 2008 breakup anthem. Still on point eight years later. FYI, if you want to get properly mopey, listen to The Fray's cover of this song.
11. "False Alarm" by The Weeknd
12. "Dancing On My Own" by Robyn
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Just the right amount of sad heartbreak lyrics teamed with strong fuck you synths. Just keep dancing on your own lovely, you're gonna be fine.
13. "Gone As A Friend" by Park Hotel
14. "Falling In Love (Is Hard On The Knees)" by Aerosmith
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If you feel like all the couples are getting to you, go to your room, turn this up loud, dance about like a loon and don't come out until you feel ALIVE again. Works like a charm.
15. "Love Stinks" by The J.Gelis Band
16. "Lonely Boy" by Matt Corby
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I mean, 1. If you're lonely this Valentine's, this is the masochistically sad song to listen to, and 2. If you're lonely, look at Matt Corby and convince yourself that really, you're just holding out for someone with soulful eyes, long hair and a guitar who's isn't a total plonker. That white unicorn must exist. Somewhere. THEY CAN'T ALL BE PLONKERS.
....They might all be plonkers.
17. "Blue Valentines" by Tom Waits
18. "Sweetheart What Have You Done To Us?" by Keaton Henson
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If you are newly single, or not over a breakup, you need Keaton Henson in your life. Keaton is the flesh and blood manifestation of all heartbreak in the world. He's a single, tragic tear rolling down a cheek made into human form. He is here for you when you want to wallow in a million blankets and go over every shitty thing your last ex ever did. Start with "Lying To You" and don't stop until you're listening, near-comatose, to "Sweetheart What Have You Done To Us".
19. "Skip to The End" by The Futureheads
20. "Settle Down" by Kimbra
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Goals for 2017: nail both Kimbra's dancing style and her cutting sarcasm.
21. "Good As Hell" by Lizzo
22. "Dream On" by Amy MacDonald
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Amy MacDonald, soundtrack to my university experience, is back with a tune that is all your positive, moving on hopes and dreams in one. "On top of the world and on the right track" – this is you. Do not forget it.
23. "Q.U.E.E.N." by Janelle Monae
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As with all things, the best way to deal with Valentine's annoyance is embracing self love. This song, and Janelle Monae in everything she does, is the embodiment of this.