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    18 Cultured As Fuck Things To Do In London This Spring

    Get your spring fling on.

    1. Burger and Beyond and Other Side Fried at Dirty Harry's.

    Dirty Harry's

    Jesus Christ, would you just look at that burger? I feel like I don't even need to tell you anything else – that picture is enough.

    But for those who want to know, Burger and Beyond (who do amazing burgers) and Other Side Fried (who do amazing fried chicken) have come together in a beautiful symphony at Dirty Harry's to birth the most beautiful love child of our generation: the Beyond The Other Side, a cheeseburger stuffed with deep-fried chicken skin, smoked honey butter, pancetta bacon, and tarragon mayo. Be still my beating arteries.

    Dates: on until early May

    Price: burgers from £8

    Contact info@dirtyharryssoho.com to book

    2. Life drawing classes with Bella Franks

    3. Cognac cocktails at La Maison Remy Martin.

    La Maison Remy Martin

    Remy Martin, the cognac brand, has just opened up a gorgeous private members' club in Soho. Don't worry – you can apply for membership fairly easily. It's 100% worth signing up just for the cocktails alone (their cognac "Grand Tonic" is a thing of beauty), but they're also hosting masterclasses all through spring. There's chocolate making with Paul A. Young, talks with actors like Rosamund Pike, and mixology with Ago Perrone, the cocktail wizard behind the Connaught Bar.

    Dates: various dates until 4 March

    Price: masterclasses and talks from £12 per person, free entry to drink at the bar

    Apply for membership and book here

    4. Orchids at Kew Gardens.

    Kew Gardens

    A riot of colours in the heart of Kew Gardens, the Orchids festival is a celebration of India's vibrant plants and culture. It's hosted in the Princess of Wales Conservatory where, along with hundreds of blooming orchids, you'll also find Indian soundscapes and film screenings. Entry to this is also included in the day entry to Kew Gardens, making it a very good time to plan a spring day trip.

    Dates: Orchids on until 5 March

    Price: £14 per person

    Book here

    5. Bottomless brunch at Mr Bao.

    Mr Bao

    As both an Asian-food and brunch addict, this is essentially what I have been waiting for my entire life. Taiwanese brunch. My dream combo. The food sounds amazing too: Taiwanese "Scotch" eggs with Taiwanese spiced sausage and a crispy noodle covering, and the full Taiwanese that features spring onion pancake, bao bun, soy-glazed eggs, Asian beans, and smoked bacon.

    Dates: Saturdays and Sundays, 11am to 4pm

    Price: dishes from £4, drinks from £6.50 or £14 for a "bottomless hour"

    Book here

    6. Alice's Adventures Underground at The Vaults.

    Tristram Kenton

    My favourite immersive theatre production of all time is coming back to London this spring, and if you want to go, book now, as tickets are already selling out. Yes, it's a little pricey, but also 1) it's Alice in Wonderland and if you are a true Alice fan, no price is too high, 2) it includes cocktails, and 3) it is literally one of the best theatre experiences you will ever have.

    Dates: April 15 to September 23

    Price: £25 for Under 26’s and general sale tickets start at £37.50

    Book here

    7. Cocktails at Artesian Bar.

    Emma Cooke / BuzzFeed

    The Artesian, a bar that has appeared time and again at the top of the World's Best Bars list, has just launched its new cocktail menu, and it's definitely a must-see. It's pretty magical: frozen porn star martini revamps, drinks served in edible orange blossom glass, actual fire, and a drink magic trick. They ain't cheap at £18 a pop, but even going for just one as a fancy treat to yourself will be an excellent way to see in spring.

    Dates: 11am to 1:30am

    Price: all cocktails £18

    Book here

    8. Friday Lates at the National Gallery.

    9. House of Holi at Cinnamon Kitchen.

    Cinnamon Kitchen

    In London it's pretty hard to get the blooming floral colours people associate with spring. So, you have to make do and mend. Which is where the new House of Holi pop-up at Cinnamon Kitchen comes in. As part of this Hindu spring festival, guests can pelt paint at each other for a bit, then dine on Indian nibbles and specially designed Holi cocktails.

    Dates: 7 to 18 March

    Price: £8 per person, or £15 for food and either a signature Holi cocktail, a Kingfisher beer, or a mocktail.

    Book here

    10. Twelfth Night at the National Theatre.

    View this video on YouTube

    youtube.com

    New on at the National this spring, they're reversing genders in a modern production of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night. In all honestly, I'll watch anything Tamsin Greig is in (she'll be playing a gender-swapped Malvolia here), but this does look set to be very bloody good.

    Dates: on until 13 May

    Price: from £15

    Book here

    11. Gin Journey Bermondsey.

    Gin Journey

    These guys take you round cities on a party bus (a minibus, but I like to call it the party bus) visiting distilleries and bars while accompanied by tour guides telling you all about the history of gin. London's had Gin Journey here for a while, but they've just launched a new Bermondsey Gin Journey, which sounds great, mainly because Jensen's gin lives here, and Jensen's is very good gin.

    And yes, I know the price seems a little steep, but if you think about it, you're getting five cocktails (standard London price is £12 each), as well as gin tastings, private transport, and your own guide. So really, it's not *too* bad.

    Dates: every Saturday

    Price: £73.85

    Book here

    12. Queer City: London Club Culture at Freud.

    The National Archives

    Have you heard of The Caravan? Circa the 1930s, it was "London's most bohemian rendezvous", a queer-friendly members' club. This spring, the National Archives and the National Trust have teamed up to bring it back to London, using photos, court reports, and witness statements about The Caravan and other clubs of the time.

    Book into a daytime Soho tour, which will shine a spotlight on LGBTQ+ heritage and club culture, or become a "club member" at Freud bar in the evening, with a bespoke drinks menu drawn from the clubs of the era.

    Dates: 2 to 26 March

    Price: from £5 (though some talks and debates are free)

    Book here

    13. LFW cocktails at Jinjuu.

    14. Jewels at the Royal Opera House.

    Royal Opera House

    I love the ballet so, so much, and there's no fancier way to watch it than at the gloriously beautiful Royal Opera House. Plus, their cheap seats are actually perfectly reasonable – I went to see Sleeping Beauty twice for less than a tenner each time, and it was FINE. Get a lower stalls ticket as far away from the stage as you can (the closer to the stage you are, the sharper the angle and the less you see), and you're sorted.

    Jewels is the new abstract ballet coming this spring, and it looks amazing – it's inspired by glittering jewels of Van Cleef & Arpels, which is also very classy. Basically, this is 100% the best way to feel very cultured on the cheap.

    Dates: 1 to 21 April

    Price: tickets from £5

    Book here

    15. Vault Festival.

    Joseph Cullen

    If you want to support the arts, Vault Festival is the way to go about it. It's an explosion of all things art-related, with shows, stand-up, and more. If you like the Edinburgh Fringe festival, this is for you – it's basically the Fringe in bite-sized form, but with more profit going to the actual artists. If you're going, I recommend You Having Olaf?, a very funny one-man show, or The Night, a regular variety night hosted every Wednesday.

    Dates: on until 5 March

    Price: some shows are free, but you can also get 2-4-1 ticket offers on Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays (tickets are £9 to £12)

    Book here

    16. Adam Rawson at The Gunmakers.

    @TikiChris

    Yeah, I know, "new year, new you!", "get fit this spring!"... but also, burgers. And I am a firm believer that the key to a good life is balance, and a dirty burger (or two, or three) is FINE every once in a while. Especially when it's one made by Adam Rawson, one of the hottest upcoming chefs on the culinary scene.

    He's popping up at The Gunmakers in Clerkenwell with a menu of global burgers; think beef burgers topped with braised chashu pork belly, seaweed and wasabi mayo, and gorgonzola, pancetta, and truffle aioli.

    Dates: now until...he decides...to leave...I guess? They don't appear to have provided an end date. I'm sorry, I would make a terrible investigative journalist

    Price: snacks from £3, burgers from £8

    Contact info@thegunmakers.co.uk for bookings

    17. Mad Hatters Mar-tea-ni Masterclass at Christabel's.

    Christabel's

    Because you can never have too many Alice in Wonderland things on a list, right? Right.

    Christabel's are running an Alice-themed cocktail masterclass this spring, where you can make your own tea cocktails while sipping on Earl Grey-infused bubbly and feasting on salted caramel matcha popcorn.

    Dates: last masterclass is 3 June

    Price: £40

    Book here

    18. Women of the World at Southbank Centre.

    Macmillan

    A festival championing gender quality, WOW at Southbank will be celebrating all the incredible achievements of women and girls across the globe in a series of mentoring sessions, workshops, and talks. There'll also be performances from brilliant female comics, writers, and musicians to catch too. Because nothing puts a spring in your step more than the energy kick you get being in the presence of all that female excellence.

    Dates: 7 to 12 March

    Price: some events free, then ticket prices from £12. You can also buy a one-day pass for £22 or a three-day pass for £50

    Book here

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