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you: Papa John's me, an intellectual: Father Jonathan
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you: tweeted me, an intellectual: twote
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why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to get to the same side
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u : jude law me, an intellectual : judith legislation
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you: I am shook me, an intellectual: I am shooketh
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A quantum wavefront walks into a bar. It says to the bartender, "Man, I've been *everywhere* today!" and collapses.
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I'm gonna write a book about the difficulties of watching Pride and Prejudice dubbed into French. It will be called L'Austen Translation
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A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says "five beers, please."
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You: Percy Pig Me, an intellectual:
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@neiltyson Argon walks into a bar, the bartender said "we don't serve your kind". Argon didn't react.
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@BadAstronomer @neiltyson Two statisticians go hunting and see their prey. The first misses left by 5 ft. The secon… https://t.co/H0wvKWegJW
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you, a nerd: doctor who me, an intellectual: whomst'd've, PhD
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There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
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you: choke me daddy me, an intellectual: restrict my airflow patriarchal figure