1. People insist on knowing why you’ve chosen not to drink.
2. They will not be satisfied with ‘I just don’t want to.’
3. In fact, unless it’s for medical or religious reasons, they generally lack understanding.
4. The soft drink served at parties and events is always orange juice.
5. This also means everyone there knows you’re not drinking.
6. You become secret agent like – for example, if you order a lemonade, no one knows it hasn’t got vodka in it.
7. Parties are seriously boring unless you’re drunk.
8. People often ask you ‘but how do you get off with people?’
9. Sometimes people assume you just don’t like going out at all.
10. Boozy puddings at restaurants make you cry.
11. People with hangovers hate you.
12. When a BuzzFeed quiz asks what your favourite drink or hangover food is, you lie.
13. You save a lot of money.
14. You never wake up hung-over, and you can always remember the night before.
15. You make every decision consciously.
16. People make you into a project and say things like ‘do you want me to help you get drunk?’
17. If you’re a girl, people secretly wonder if you’re pregnant.
18. You are always the designated driver.
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