5 Times Social Media Tried To Brainwash You*

*As told by Donald Trump

Who said that? Me? No, I didn't say that. Listen, Hillary Clinton is a liar and she's going to ruin the country. There's an active conspiracy against me by her and the media. We need to make America great again and that isn't possible with the way she's turning media against me and interrupting me during the debates. I'm not even going to go to the next debate if she's there. Here's the facts.

1. 27% of Voters Aged 18-30 Get Political Information From Social Media

Isaac Brekken / Getty Images / Via Kushin, M. J., & Yamamoto, M. (2010). Did Social Media Really Matter? College Students' Use of Online Media and Political Decision Making in the 2008 Election. Mass Communication & Society. 13(5), 608-630.

Now, listen, this is just not good. Do you want an America that only learns from the Internet? How can America be great that way? Let me tell you, these stats are from the 2008 election and have definitely changed. I bet something like 40% of young voters get their information from the Internet now. I didn't make that up, that's the facts. I don't have any sources to back me up, but it's true.

Now, this is not great and I'll tell you why. There is an active conspiracy against me on social media. Facebook, Twitter, all of it, they're against me and it's Hillary's fault. All the social media that kids are on these days are spouting left-wing propaganda against me and that's what's brainwashing America. We have to make America great again!

2. Social Media News Show Left-Wing Bias

CBC, CNN, Global News / Via cbc.ca cnn.com globalnews.ca

Now that is blatantly critical of me. I don’t see anything like that about Hillary. You have to go searching for negative content about her, but for me, well it’s just out there! Now the polls say that I’m still in the lead and that’s right, but this is just ridiculous. How are voters supposed to know the full story if all they're seeing is discriminatory propaganda against me? Where's all the stories about Crooked Hillary's illegal email business and Bill's affairs?

This obviously is a conspiracy against me and against all good Americans. What we need on the Internet is good, equal representation of both leaders. This is not equal. I am being discriminated against and by doing so, left-wing propaganda is wronging the good American people. Do you want to be brainwashed? Why are you not seeing any Republican policy or any of Hillary's scandals? Trust me, she's got enough of them for there to be coverage, but there isn't. This kind of content is 100% definitely part of an inside job and could lead to good Republican citizens being wronged by the brainwashed Internet-educated left-wing extremists.

3. Theft of "Make America Great Again" Hat on University Campus

GC Images / Via gettyimages.ca

At a university in Alberta, Canada, a student was challenged for wearing my hat. Now, this is just unbelievable. Listen, he was told to take off the hat because it was making others feel unsafe. It's just a hat! Talk about freedom of speech being taken away.

Trust me, this is all social media's fault. If social media didn't have a left-wing bias, more people would believe in my campaign policies and wouldn't be attacking and stealing the property of my supporters. Hillary paid them to steal it. Confirmed.

4. Fake Studies About Women Voting

FiveThirtyEight / Via fivethirtyeight.com

Fake. I call fake! Why would almost all women vote for her? Because she's a woman? Probably. She thinks the US owes her something because she's a woman and she's been in politics for 30 years. As if. I've been a business man for a very long time, ever since I received a small loan of one million dollars from my father to start my career and I know that this is a fake map, because no one respects women more than I do and women know that.

Bias online is an epidemic and I personally am being targeted. This in itself is horribly biased and I for one will not stand for it. Now, listen, no one respects women more than I do. American women are beautiful (a lot are even 10s!), they know what's good for them, and they should all vote for me because if they don't, they've obviously been swayed by biased, left-wing conspiracy news.

5. Online News Access Increases Voter Turnout

CNN (Edited by Me) / Via cnn.com

According to a paper by Jason Sternberg (2008), the probability that someone will vote increases if they have access to online news sources. Now, this would be very great indeed. No one cares about voter turnout more than I do. I rely on you voters to help me out here and get me into the highest company - I mean office - in the United States so I can make this country great again. But, like I have already said if you've been listening, news on social media is conspiring with Hillary Clinton against me. They are all against the greatness of America and are posting news stories that are false and hateful. I think Hillary has a lot of hate in her heart and she's paying off social media to do her dirty work. We know she's done this kind of thing before (check out email).

I don’t like to focus on the negative, I really don't, but this is very unfair. Obama has been the worst president in US history and I’m the one taking all the heat. Our leaders are so stupid and haven't done anything about ISIS, but there's nothing on that online! Obama and Crooked Hillary founded ISIS. I'm going to bomb the shit out of ISIS when I'm president.

Twitter / Via Twitter: @realDonaldTrump

Now those are the hard facts. You cannot make this stuff up! That nasty woman is going to ruin the country more than it already is. Elect me and I’ll get rid of everything bad in America, like immigrants, Muslims, and gay people and women’s rights. I'm going to bring back all the jobs that China is stealing from us - they're turning us into a third-world country - and I'm going to get ISIS. Trust me, I’m a business man with no political background and I only lost almost one billion dollars last year. I know what I’m talking about. *sniff*