The Real Housewives of New Jersey, the second most successful show in the Housewives franchise behind The Real Housewives of Atlanta, just finished airing its sixth season.
The show had three new cast members in the sixth season — Amber Marchese, Nicole Napolitano, and Teresa Aprea — and one returning member from Season 1, Dina Manzo. Sisters-in-law Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga also returned, after an intense fifth season that centered around the family's strained relationship. But their drama, or any of the drama that the newest members brought on the show, failed to capture as much screen time as six-season vet Giudice and her husband Joe's legal woes.
The day after Giudice was sentenced to 15 months in prison — she must surrender herself by Jan. 5, 2015 — and her husband was sentenced to 41 months — he will go in after she is released — the couple sat down with Bravo's Andy Cohen. Giudice kicked off the discussion with some comments. A few days after that, the conversation continued when she, along with her five castmates and their significant others, filmed a three-part RHONJ reunion special that aired on Nov. 2, Nov. 6, and Nov. 11. During those three hours, nothing seemed to be off-limits. From more comments about Giudice's legal battle and scandalous remarks about their personal lives to phrases that literally made zero sense, here is a roundup of the craziest things said by the famous residents of Jersey. And some final words from Giudice, who will likely not return to the show.
1. "There's like, a certain anger that she wasn't taken care of properly. There's people who commit murders walking around on the streets, she's such a good girl. It's just crazy to me." —Dina on Teresa Giudice going to jail
2. "My kids don't know anything. It's just like how it's always been." —Teresa Giudice on her prison sentence
3. "I think there was a lot of manipulation behind the scenes with Jacqueline (Laurita), with Danielle (Staub), and stuff like that. Like, I don't hate Danielle. I didn't back then. It was annoying. That's not what everybody else felt." —Dina
4. "You gotta get your pipes cleaned, Dina." —Andy on Dina having sex during her marital separation
5. "Well, maybe I am, but from a plumber I know." —Dina on her sex life
6. "I usually don't have funerals for family, but there might have been a wake." —Dina on Caroline and Jacqueline
7. "The issue was the show, it seems like." —Andy on Dina's feud with her sister-in-law, Jacqueline, and sister Caroline Manzo
8. "I'm glad you said that. It's about time you admit something." —Teresa Giudice on Andy's comment above
9. "I've never hit below the belt." —Teresa Giudice
10. "I don't watch TV." —Dina
In the middle of the reunion, Bravo aired a roundup of the best Jersey-isms from the season.
11. "We need to stop calling it 'The Cancer.'" —Dina
12. "I feel like every woman should try 'boobdoir' pictures." —Melissa
13. "He'll do 'skoowers.'" —Teresa Aprea
14. "Hopefully he'll find the 'lopter' tails." —Nicole
15. "...and put 'em in the 'vidgerator.'" —Teresa Giudice
16. "You know, a little 'calmaradity.'" —Nicole
17. "You need to be 'a cannibal,' do you understand that." —Melissa
18. "Hello Amber, you bought this on yourself. Is it brought? Yes." —Dina
19. "Little 'myrant' of a husband." —Teresa Aprea
20. "It's like I 'jigged' myself." —Teresa Giudice
21. "Midget and a tyrant: a myrant." —Amber
22. "Like I need somebody for a show. I'm a show in itself!" —Rosie Pierri on her ex-girlfriend claiming she was using her for fame
23. "That's your opinion, Ro. I get it, Tree." —cousins Teresa Giudice and Rosie interacting
24. "My tag line would be: I may be a man, but I fight like a girl." —Andy
25. "Or: I didn't major in English, but I know how to read." —Andy
26. "I didn't understand my plea deal." —Teresa Giudice
27. "It's a tragedy what you're going through. My heart does break for you. We're Italian. We know people who have been in prison. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, what you're going through... I can't be a hypocrite, I cannot sit here and act like, 'Everything's fine! Everything's great! I'm gonna let Teresa go because of what you're going through.' That was my mother." —Teresa Aprea to Teresa Giudice on her comments that Teresa Aprea's mother had an affair with her husband
28. "Her publicist is threatening my publicist." —Teresa Aprea to Teresa Giudice
29. "What's clink-clink? What's clink-clink?" —Teresa Giudice asking for clarification on Teresa Aprea's comments
30. "When an attorney asks for information you must put all that down, otherwise it's like a slap in the face. If a judge or something does ask for something, whether it's your financial statement or this, you must give it, otherwise they do get a little upset over that." —Nicole on how to handle legal issues
31. "I never even went over the financial statement with anybody." —Joe Giudice
32. "A probation officer comes to your house. If we were trying to hide something when the probation officer came, we would have gotten stuff out of there." —Teresa Giudice
33. "I guess I drank more milk as a kid." —Teresa Aprea on having bigger boobs than her sister, Nicole
34. "Here I was 19, 20 years old, I was taking the Concord, flying to Paris. Lot of 19-, 20-year-olds don't do that." —Teresa Aprea on her first marriage
35. "He dates young strippers, that's who he buys Rolexes for, not old hags." —Teresa Aprea on her husband
36. "What's so bad about a trust-fund baby? What's so bad about being born with a silver spoon in your mouth?" —Teresa Aprea
37. "He's got an asshole problem. If someone's an asshole, he's gonna react." —Amber on her husband, Jim Marchese
38. "He was waiting for the contracts to come in, and if the contracts weren't coming in, he was hightailing it out of there." —Amber on Bobby Ciasulli dating Nicole
39. "Thank you, you're still a bitch." —Bobby to Jim
40. "Go ahead, put your notes away." —Amber to Jim, after pulling out physical pictures of Bobby at other cast members' book signings
41. "Men don't get involved in little catfights, sweetheart." —Teresa Aprea
42. "OK, you guys, shut up!" —Andy
43. "I'm not going to call him a 'vagina' anymore because that's an insult to us women. We're gonna go with 'mangina.'" —Dina on Jim being disrespectful to women
44. "I grew up with that girl; she threw my toys out the window." —Joe Gorga
45. "This show is so f*cked up." —Dina
46. "Jim, you're freaking me out." —Andy
47. "Next time I want somebody to dance on my grave, I know who to call." —Teresa Giudice to Jim
48. "I treated it like the stupid, freaking joke that it was." —Jim on Teresa Aprea's mother having an affair with her husband
49. "You ever read history? You know what happens to messengers, right?" —Rino Aprea
50. "I let you finish, I let you talk. Now be a man, sit down, and be the little bitch that you are and shut the fuck up." —Jim to Rino
51. "I'm not going to get into the whole production thing, and, Teresa, they were mad at you because you weren't bringing anything to the show." —Teresa Aprea to Teresa Giudice
52. "I wasn't bringing anything to the show? The whole show is about me!" —Teresa Giudice
53. "I feel like I'm in The Wizard of Oz here this whole season." —Teresa Aprea
54. "I'm like Dorothy. I wanna go home. I wanna go home." —Teresa Aprea
55. "Alcohol and a camera; very bad mix." —Teresa Aprea
56. "Eighty percent yes, 20% no." —Teresa Giudice on if she regrets coming on the show
57. "Maybe you'll see me on a cooking show." —Teresa Giudice on where she'll be in five years
58. "Well, I am very emo." —Andy talking about Teresa Giudice's future