Skip To Content

    19 Rules For Dressing Like A Real Housewife Of New Jersey

    These ladies march to the beat of their own animal print, that's for sure.

    1. Wear animal prints to work.

    2. But on red carpets, wear more than one animal print at a time.

    3. Remember: rhinestones are the window to your soul.

    4. When in doubt, just glue rhinestones all over your tube dress.

    5. Also, glitter nail art is a must.

    6. Glue huge pieces of fur to the edges of all your outerwear.

    7. In the springtime, choose ruffles.

    8. Definitely mix embroidery and fur from time to time.

    9. You won't get through winter without a fur vest.

    10. Cleavage is like a purse — you can't leave home without it.

    11. Lingerie functions nicely as a dress.

    12. No color is too bright for evening wear.

    13. Sew a wad of toilet paper to your LBD.

    14. Re-wear old bridesmaid dresses when you don't have time to shop.

    15. Mix prints.

    16. Look topless from at least one angle.

    17. Wear sturdy collars instead of necklaces.

    18. Of course, don't go anywhere without applying at least half an eyeliner pencil.

    19. Just always remember the three most important rules of Jersey Housewife fashion: tighter, shorter and sequined.