1. Being welcomed by strangers, who will declare it's nice to have you back, even if they've never met you before.
2. Generally having a lot of conversations with complete strangers, particularly in queues.
3. Especially conversations about how cold it is.
4. No longer assuming strangers who talk to you are trying to rob you.
5. And revealing your entire life story to them, because it’s been so long since anyone asked.
6. Buying the type of obnoxiously warm, quilted coat you only ever saw Notting Hill mums wear, because it turns out they’re practical when it’s bloody freezing.
7. Plus everyone has one – even the boys.
8. Relishing blowing your nose because your bogies no longer come out black.
9. Eating out a lot more, because you can finally afford to.
10. But starting to consider £7 cocktails a bit on the expensive side.
11. Getting really into vouchers and discounts, because everyone has intimate knowledge of the latest Pizza Express 2-for-1 expiration date.
12. Putting on weight from all of the eating out, but hiding it under your new enormous coat.
13. Scrolling through your Uber history just to appreciate the difference in your journey costs now vs. when you were in London.
14. Wasting the money you’re saving on expensive Ubers by just taking loads of really cheap ones.
15. Realising hipster culture has also taken over everywhere outside London and you'll still have to climb through phone boxes or Laundromats to get to cool bars.
16. But remaining uncertain whether the amount of beards is a hipster thing or just a genuine response to the cold.
17. Embarrassing yourself with your own hipsterness – nobody is here for your edamame beans or your artisan coffee.
18. Being confused by place names. There's a Hyde Park in Leeds and a Whitechapel in Liverpool, but they are not the same at all.
19. Learning that not all twenty-something homeowners only managed it because a rich relative died. It's possible to actually save and buy affordable properties up here.
20. Trying really hard not to constantly use the phrase “when I was in London…”.
21. Because when you do, people think you’re a twat.
22. In fact, nobody is impressed by your years spent in London and when you bring it up they look at you with a combination of wariness and pity.
23. But everyone will want to tell you the story of the time they went to London, and all the reasons why they would never live there.
24. Having an existential crisis and overdoing the Northern slang to try and fit in.
25. Arriving everywhere roughly an hour early because you don't believe Google Maps when it claims it’s a 5-minute journey.
26. Relishing the re-emergence of cheap buffets and all-you- can-eats in your life because this is something that London does not do very well. #highsociety
27. Spending more time doing cultural things, particularly going to the theatre, where you marvel at how many West End shows make it to the North and how much cheaper they are to attend.
28. Wondering why you never went out to dinner and a show in London.
29. And then remembering.
30. And laughing. A lot.
31. Really appreciating the architecture in the North.
32. Walking down the high street like a fucking maniac even when it’s not that busy because you’re used to shoving through crowds.
33. Making more effort to spend time in the countryside and really, truly appreciating it.
34. Realising that for every person in London who referred to anywhere above Birmingham as "The North", there’s an equivalent person in the North who refers to anywhere below Sheffield as "The South".
35. Going to really big supermarkets and and sometimes getting overwhelmed because you’re not used to anything bigger than a Tesco Metro.
36. Getting used to the fact that a lot of people don’t make plans after work “because they’re driving.”
37. Because people actually have cars in cities up here, and sometimes you’ll go in them too.
38. Welling up when you hear Waterloo Sunset because the FOMO is real.
39. Feeling awkward about leaving work at 5pm even though everyone does it.
40. Especially when that means you’re in the pub at 5.05pm and it seems too early to start drinking.
41. Feeling sad knowing that some people truly believe that when you’re tired of London, you’re tired of life.
42. So trying not to yawn too much.
43. Reclaiming Saturday nights – which are much more of a thing in the North than you experienced in London, when you preferred to stay in to avoid tourists.
44. Re-adjusting to walking around a city centre in heels on a night out.
45. Realising you have a lot more energy than you used to, and hoping you’ll put it towards something productive.
46. Eating. All. The. Pies.
47. Finding that there is actually life outside of London, and it’s a bloody good one too.