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    Billie Eilish Said She's "Incredibly Embarrassed And Ashamed" Of Her Past Actions Following Backlash Over Resurfaced Video

    "The weirdest thing is how nothing ever goes away once it's on the internet."

    Last month, Billie Eilish faced backlash for resurfaced video clips that showed the singer mouthing an anti-Asian slur in a song, imitating an Asian accent, and using a "blaccent." The clips were recorded about five years ago.

    Billie Eilish performs onstage
    Kevin Mazur / Getty Images for iHeartMedia

    Billie, who is 19, acknowledged her actions were offensive and said that she felt "appalled" and "embarrassed" in a statement apologizing for some of the behavior captured on video.

    Billie Eilish is photographed at the Grammy Awards showing off her elaborate nails
    Cbs Photo Archive / CBS via Getty Images

    "There's a video edit going around of me when I was 13 or 14 where I mouthed a word from a song that at the time I didn't know was a derogatory term used against members of the Asian community," she wrote in a message shared to her Instagram story. "I am appalled and embarrassed and want to barf that I ever mouthed along to that word."

    Finneas O'Connell and Billie Eilish accept an award at the 2021 Grammy Awards
    Rich Fury / Getty Images for The Recording Academy

    The singer defended herself against criticisms of the remaining clips. "Speaking in a silly gibberish made-up voice [is] something I started doing as a kid. ... It is in no way an imitation of anyone or any language, accent, or culture in the slightest," she said.

    "Regardless of how it was interpreted, I did not mean for any of my actions to have caused hurt to others, and it absolutely breaks my heart that it is being labeled now in a way that might cause pain to people hearing it," Billie's statement continued.

    Billie Eilish is photographed at The BRIT Awards in 2020
    Jim Dyson / Redferns via Getty Images

    Billie reflected on her younger teenage self's conduct, the permanent nature of internet activity, and why she's retrospectively "ashamed" of things she previously said or did online in a recent Vogue Australia interview.

    "The internet brings up things from everybody's past and I'm like: 'Don't you guys understand that everybody is incredibly embarrassed and ashamed about their past? Like, do you not think about the fact that maybe you're embarrassed of your past, so maybe everybody else is embarrassed, too?'" she said.

    Billie Eilish accepts an award virtually during the 2021 BRIT Awards
    Dave J Hogan / Getty Images

    "I said so many things then that I totally don't agree with now, or think the opposite thing," Billie explained.

    "The weirdest thing is how nothing ever goes away once it's on the internet," she added. "Every interview I did when I was 15 is still out there, and I think about it constantly."

    Billie Eilish is photographed while performing
    Nurphoto / NurPhoto via Getty Images

    Many of us might be able to understand cringing over humiliating comments made during early adolescence. But, IMO, given that Billie's actions, in multiple instances, were pretty egregious, it's probably better for everyone that she's being held accountable for them now. You can read Billie's full Vogue Australia interview here.

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