19. Harrison Ford
Sparkle Score: .2
Harrison, c’mon. A ball, really?
18. Zayn Malik
Sparkle Score: .5
It’s a silver hoop so it’s mostly just shiny, you know?
17. Colin Farrell
Sparkle Score: 1
Two hoops are better than one.
16. Chris Kirkpatrick
Sparkle Score: 2.4
Normally, I’d say “The more mearrings, the merrier”. But I don’t know, you guys.
15. Michael Jordan
Sparkle Score: 1.6
His hoop is very large but it doesn’t glimmer as much in the sunlight.
14. Johnny Depp
Sparkle Score: 3
His man bling score is slightly higher because his jewelry collection is more enviable.
13. Keith Urban
Sparkle Score: 4
Points for creativity because he paired different kinds of lustrous metals together.
12. P Diddy
Sparkle Score: 5
I expected more twinkle for someone named Puff Daddy.
11. Cristiano Ronaldo
Sparkle Score: 5
They’re nice studs, sure. But his hair really distracts from the overall dazzle.
10. Will Smith
Sparkle Score: 6
The price is right on these babies, you know what I’m saying??
9. Justin Timberlake
Sparkle Score: 6.7
Mhm. These are noice.
Sparkle Score: 6.8
His diamond compliments his bow tie.
7. AJ McLean
Sparkle Score: 7
He’s got a nose ring and a mustache that curls up, so yes and yes.
6. Bruce Jenner
Sparkle Score: 7.3
He who jazzes up a golf visor is one razzle-dazzle son of a gun.
5. David Beckham
Sparkle Score: 7.8
These are what I would imagine to be flossy. I’m not sure what that word means, but it seems most accurate.
4. Jamie Foxx
Sparkle Score: 7.9
Looking directly into these gems could harm your vision. Look cautiously, my friends.
3. Morgan Freeman
Sparkle Score: 8
THESE ARE OUTRAGEOUS. IT’S LIKE LOOKING INTO THE ACTUAL SUN.
2. Jay Z
Sparkle Score: 9
I CANNOT SEE, I’M LITERALLY BUT NOT LITERALLY GOING BLIND.
1. Finally, Justin Bieber
Sparkle Score: 10
IT’S TOO MUCH. IT’S JUST ALL TOO MUCH. THE PUBE-STACHE. THE DIAMOND HOOPS. I HAVE TO. I MUST. I’M TURNING AWAY NOW.
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