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    Ranking All The U.S. Presidents By Their Hairstyles

    Happy Presidents' Day!

    43. James Madison

    James Madison / NYPL / Via

    Texture: The best straw in the land.

    Shape: Snowy mountain top.

    Overall Score: 2

    Interesting form. Fantastic muttonchops.

    42. John Quincy Adams

    John Quincy Adams, Southworth & Hawes, 1850 of original from 1843 / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Soft cat hair.

    Shape: The side parts of an oval.

    Overall Score: 2.5

    Cheek hair is so much cooler than regular hair.

    41. Dwight D. Eisenhower

    Dwight D. Eisenhower, 29 May 1959, White House / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Dusty-ish? Like actual dust, maybe?

    Shape: What is the shape of a nose hair?

    Overall Score: 2.6

    The name Dwight > hair

    40. John Tyler

    John Tyler, Edwards & Anthony / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Baby's hair.

    Shape: Like a yamaka, perhaps?

    Overall Score: 2.8

    This is a seriously serious hairstyle.

    39. Martin Van Buren

    Martin Van Buren, circa 1855-1858, Mathew Brady / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: A wool coat.

    Shape: Floating clouds or bundles of cotton.

    Overall Score: 2.5

    If my hair only grew on the sides of my face, I would definitely brush it straight out as well.

    38. William McKinley

    William McKinley, copyright 1896, Courtney Art Studio / Wikimedia Commons

    Texture: A bamboo rug.

    Shape: Martin Scorcese's right eyebrow.

    Overall Score: 3

    His practical approach was quite refreshing: A douse or two or three of water and you're good to go!

    37. Lyndon B. Johnson

    Lyndon B. Johnson, 10 March 1964, Arnold Newman / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Wet soil.

    Shape: The letter "C" turned sideways.

    Overall Score: 3.2

    It's like he took a shower, then let it air dry. Genius.

    36. Chester Arthur

    Chester Arthur, 1882, Charles Milton Bell 1849–1893 / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Iron wool.

    Shape: Like a necklace for his face.

    Overall Score: 3.5

    His hair is literally connected at all ends, it flows like a river.

    35. Theodore Roosevelt

    Theodore Roosevelt, Copyright 1915, Pach Brothers, Library of Congress / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Feathers

    Shape: Skirt

    Overall Score: 3.6

    You know Teddy trimmed his own bangs.

    34. Woodrow Wilson

    Woodrow Wilson, 1919, Harris & Ewing / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: The inside of an Ugg boot.

    Shape: The top of his head.

    Overall Score: 3.8

    No time to style when you're running a country.

    33. Warren G. Harding

    Warren G. Harding, by Harris & Ewing, circa 1920 / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Cow's fur

    Shape: The edge of a penny.

    Overall Score: 4

    His brows were certainly something to envy.

    32. Grover Cleveland

    Hon. Grover Cleveland, August 9, 1892 / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Toothbrush.

    Shape: A goatee on his forehead.

    Overall Score: 4.2

    It's nice that he spent equal amounts of time on all three patches of hair.

    31. Calvin Coolidge

    Calvin Coolidge, 1923, John Garo / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Suede.

    Shape: A desert plateau.

    Overall Score: 4.4

    Calvin was a classy chap, indeed.

    30. Andrew Johnson

    Andrew Johnson, circa 1870-1880, Mathew Brady / Wikimedia Commons

    Texture: Robin William's arm hair.

    Shape: Hipster beanie.

    Overall Score: 4.5

    What he lacked in shape, he made up for in volume.

    29. Gerald Ford

    Gerald Ford, 27 August 1974, David Hume Kennerly / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Hairbrush bristles.

    Shape: Porcupine.

    Overall Score: 4.6

    Hey, he played the cards he was dealt and he played them well.

    28. John Adams

    John Adams, 1735-1826 / Henry Adams, 2D / NYPL / Via

    Texture: Whipped cream.

    Shape: Victorian lady's collar.

    Overall Score: 5

    How does one achieve such ample heights?

    27. James A. Garfield

    Pres. James Garfield, Picture taken circa 1870–1880 / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: A broomstick.

    Shape: All the houses in the Shire.

    Overall Score: 5.1

    His salt n' pepper crumb catcher has been setting trends since 1881, fools.

    26. George Washington / Via

    Texture: Squirrel's tail.

    Shape: Mushroom.

    Overall Score: 5.2

    If you want to be taken more seriously, pair a Founding Father's wig with some lace. End of story.

    25. William Howard Taft

    William Howard Taft, 11 March 1909, Library of Congress / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Back hair.

    Shape: Sleep mask.

    Overall Score: 5.4

    You just cannot compete with his handlebar 'stache and his middle-parted hair.

    24. Bill Clinton

    Bill Clinton, 1 January 1993, Bob McNeely / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: A towel.

    Shape: Sloth-like.

    Overall Score: 5.3

    Bill's hair literally does all the work for him. It grows upward with strength and stamina.

    23. James Polk

    James Polk, 14 February 1849, Brady, Mathew B / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Bean paste.

    Shape: A coonskin cap.

    Overall Score: 5.4

    Only a badass could pull off a receding hairline AND a mullet.

    22. Millard Filmore

    Millard Fillmore / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Fake plant.

    Shape: Tablecloth.

    Overall Score: 5.5

    He gets high marks for creating a completely original hairstyle. It's like half-circle, half-square.

    21. Herbert Hoover

    Herbert Hoover, circa 1928, Underwood & Underwood / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Crumpled up silk.

    Shape: Bottle cap.

    Overall Score: 5.2

    Seems to be the most popular 'do. If Herbert Hoover's hair had a twitter it would be trending right now.

    20. Thomas Jefferson

    Thomas Jefferson - by Stuart / NYPL / Via

    Texture: Yarn.

    Shape: A pile of dirty laundry.

    Overall Score: 5.3

    Only the finest goat and horse hair for this man!

    19. Franklin D. Roosevelt

    Franklin D. Roosevelt, 27 December 1933, Elias Goldensky / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: 6-day-old leg hair.

    Shape: Small forest.

    Overall Score: 5.4

    Cool Guy Stan.

    18. Richard Nixon

    Richard Nixon, circa 1973, White House / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Pug's hair.

    Shape: Tom Selleck's mustache.

    Overall Score: 5.5

    Yes, we noticed the pattern. Everyone loves some good hair gel.

    17. Jimmy Carter

    Jimmy Carter, Department of Defense / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: If you gathered all the hair on a salon floor and then touched it.

    Shape: The side of a hawk.

    Overall Score: 5.6

    Except for this guy! Kept it au naturale.

    16. Harry S. Truman

    Harry Truman, circa 1945, Frank Gatteri / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Oil painting.

    Shape: Caterpillar.

    Overall Score: 5.6

    He looks like a picturesque president with his pocket square and his delightful little glasses.

    15. Ulysses Grant

    Pres. http://U.S. Grant, between 1870 and 1880, Brady-Handy Photograph Collection / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Carpet.

    Shape: A garden before the vegetables have grown.

    Overall Score: 5.7

    An all-around solid look. I feel like this is what Justin Timberlake might look like when he's good and ripened.

    14. Zachary Taylor

    Zachary Taylor, circa 1850 / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Old noodles.

    Shape: Birds nest with bird in it.

    Overall Score: 5.8

    I like that he probably just rolled out of bed that morning and was like "What's up, I'm the President, bitches."

    13. Rutherford B. Hayes

    Rutherford B. Hayes, Circa 1870-1880 / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Kale.

    Shape: A cartoon nose.

    Overall Score: 6

    He could've totally chewed gum in class and would've gotten away with it. That beard could win prizes these days.

    12. George H. W. Bush

    George H. W. Bush, circa 1989, N/A, likely POTUS / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Sheets.

    Shape: The bottom of a thimble.

    Overall Score: 6.3

    His hair looks like a sweet grandpa's.

    11. Barack Obama

    Barack Obama, 6 December 2012, Pete Souza / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Teddy bear.

    Shape: Upper half of the Earth.

    Overall Score: 6.5

    The most sophisticated buzz cut this world has ever seen.

    10. William Henry Harrison

    William Henry Harrison, 1841, Albert Sands Southworth, Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Real fur coat.

    Shape: Leaves.

    Overall Score: 6.7

    It's like 50 Shades of Grey hair color.

    9. James Buchanan

    Hon. James Buchanan, ca. 1860 - ca. 1865, Mathew Brady / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Dandelion seeds.

    Shape: A flame.

    Overall Score: 7

    He's like the original Harry Styles, but fancier.

    8. Benjamin Harrison

    Benjamin Harrison,1886, Adam Cuerden // restoration, Pach Brothers / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: A doily.

    Shape: Bikini top.

    Overall Score: 7.5

    I'm biased, he reminds me of that adorable old man who made Jurassic Park from that mosquito stick.

    7. George W. Bush

    George Bush, 14 January 2003, Eric Draper / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Tumbleweed.

    Shape: Waves.

    Overall Score: 7.5

    'Tis the definition of a coiff.

    6. Ronald Reagan

    Ronald Reagan, 8 Apr 1983 / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Hairspray.

    Shape: Queen Amidala's hat.

    Overall Score: 8

    The whole thing just works. It's structured. It's tidy. It's like a royal crown but made out of hair.

    5. James Monroe

    James Monroe, Durand, Asher Brown, 1796-1886 -- Engraver, NYPL / Via

    Texture: Bruce Jenner's hair.

    Shape: Pipe.

    Overall Score: 8.4

    Who doesn't love a man who can rock a good pony?

    4. Abraham Lincoln

    Abraham Lincoln, 8 November 1863, Alexander Gardner / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Hair that hasn't been washed in two days.

    Shape: Umbrella.

    Overall Score: 8.5

    This man was for sure one of those babies who was born with an absurd amount of hair. Just with like, an abundance of hair follicles.

    3. Andrew Jackson

    Andrew Jackson, 15 April 1845, Edward Anthony / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Polar fleece.

    Shape: Carrot.

    Overall Score: 9.2

    No amount of mousse on this planet could make my hair that voluminious.

    2. Franklin Pierce

    Portraits / NYPL / Via

    Texture: Finely-knitted sweater.

    Shape: Tree.

    Overall Score: 9.9

    This dude knew how to work a perm, am I right or am I right?

    1. John F. Kennedy

    John F. Kennedy, February 20th 1961, White House Press Office / Wikimedia Commons / Via

    Texture: Perfect.

    Shape: Perfect.

    Overall Score: Perfect.

    Best hair of all-time.