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Ranking All The U.S. Presidents By Their Hairstyles

Happy Presidents' Day!

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43. James Madison

Texture: The best straw in the land.Shape: Snowy mountain top.Overall Score: 2Interesting form. Fantastic muttonchops.
James Madison / NYPL / Via digitalgallery.nypl.org

Texture: The best straw in the land.

Shape: Snowy mountain top.

Overall Score: 2

Interesting form. Fantastic muttonchops.

42. John Quincy Adams

Texture: Soft cat hair.Shape: The side parts of an oval. Overall Score: 2.5Cheek hair is so much cooler than regular hair.
John Quincy Adams, Southworth & Hawes, 1850 of original from 1843 / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Soft cat hair.

Shape: The side parts of an oval.

Overall Score: 2.5

Cheek hair is so much cooler than regular hair.

41. Dwight D. Eisenhower

Texture: Dusty-ish? Like actual dust, maybe?Shape: What is the shape of a nose hair?Overall Score: 2.6The name Dwight > hair
Dwight D. Eisenhower, 29 May 1959, White House / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Dusty-ish? Like actual dust, maybe?

Shape: What is the shape of a nose hair?

Overall Score: 2.6

The name Dwight > hair

40. John Tyler

Texture: Baby's hair.Shape: Like a yamaka, perhaps?Overall Score: 2.8This is a seriously serious hairstyle.
John Tyler, Edwards & Anthony / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Baby's hair.

Shape: Like a yamaka, perhaps?

Overall Score: 2.8

This is a seriously serious hairstyle.

39. Martin Van Buren

Texture: A wool coat.Shape: Floating clouds or bundles of cotton.Overall Score: 2.5If my hair only grew on the sides of my face, I would definitely brush it straight out as well.
Martin Van Buren, circa 1855-1858, Mathew Brady / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: A wool coat.

Shape: Floating clouds or bundles of cotton.

Overall Score: 2.5

If my hair only grew on the sides of my face, I would definitely brush it straight out as well.

38. William McKinley

Texture: A bamboo rug.Shape: Martin Scorcese's right eyebrow.Overall Score: 3His practical approach was quite refreshing: A douse or two or three of water and you're good to go!
William McKinley, copyright 1896, Courtney Art Studio / Wikimedia Commons

Texture: A bamboo rug.

Shape: Martin Scorcese's right eyebrow.

Overall Score: 3

His practical approach was quite refreshing: A douse or two or three of water and you're good to go!

37. Lyndon B. Johnson

Texture: Wet soil.Shape: The letter "C" turned sideways. Overall Score: 3.2It's like he took a shower, then let it air dry. Genius.
Lyndon B. Johnson, 10 March 1964, Arnold Newman / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Wet soil.

Shape: The letter "C" turned sideways.

Overall Score: 3.2

It's like he took a shower, then let it air dry. Genius.

36. Chester Arthur

Texture: Iron wool.Shape: Like a necklace for his face.Overall Score: 3.5His hair is literally connected at all ends, it flows like a river.
Chester Arthur, 1882, Charles Milton Bell 1849–1893 / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Iron wool.

Shape: Like a necklace for his face.

Overall Score: 3.5

His hair is literally connected at all ends, it flows like a river.

35. Theodore Roosevelt

Texture: FeathersShape: SkirtOverall Score: 3.6You know Teddy trimmed his own bangs.
Theodore Roosevelt, Copyright 1915, Pach Brothers, Library of Congress / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Feathers

Shape: Skirt

Overall Score: 3.6

You know Teddy trimmed his own bangs.

34. Woodrow Wilson

Texture: The inside of an Ugg boot.Shape: The top of his head.Overall Score: 3.8No time to style when you're running a country.
Woodrow Wilson, 1919, Harris & Ewing / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: The inside of an Ugg boot.

Shape: The top of his head.

Overall Score: 3.8

No time to style when you're running a country.

33. Warren G. Harding

Texture: Cow's furShape: The edge of a penny.Overall Score: 4His brows were certainly something to envy.
Warren G. Harding, by Harris & Ewing, circa 1920 / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Cow's fur

Shape: The edge of a penny.

Overall Score: 4

His brows were certainly something to envy.

32. Grover Cleveland

Texture: Toothbrush.Shape: A goatee on his forehead. Overall Score: 4.2It's nice that he spent equal amounts of time on all three patches of hair.
Hon. Grover Cleveland, August 9, 1892 / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Toothbrush.

Shape: A goatee on his forehead.

Overall Score: 4.2

It's nice that he spent equal amounts of time on all three patches of hair.

31. Calvin Coolidge

Texture: Suede.Shape: A desert plateau.Overall Score: 4.4Calvin was a classy chap, indeed.
Calvin Coolidge, 1923, John Garo / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Suede.

Shape: A desert plateau.

Overall Score: 4.4

Calvin was a classy chap, indeed.

30. Andrew Johnson

Texture: Robin William's arm hair.Shape: Hipster beanie.Overall Score: 4.5What he lacked in shape, he made up for in volume.
Andrew Johnson, circa 1870-1880, Mathew Brady / Wikimedia Commons

Texture: Robin William's arm hair.

Shape: Hipster beanie.

Overall Score: 4.5

What he lacked in shape, he made up for in volume.

29. Gerald Ford

Texture: Hairbrush bristles.Shape: Porcupine.Overall Score: 4.6Hey, he played the cards he was dealt and he played them well.
Gerald Ford, 27 August 1974, David Hume Kennerly / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Hairbrush bristles.

Shape: Porcupine.

Overall Score: 4.6

Hey, he played the cards he was dealt and he played them well.

28. John Adams

Texture: Whipped cream.Shape: Victorian lady's collar.Overall Score: 5How does one achieve such ample heights?
John Adams, 1735-1826 / Henry Adams, 2D / NYPL / Via digitalgallery.nypl.org

Texture: Whipped cream.

Shape: Victorian lady's collar.

Overall Score: 5

How does one achieve such ample heights?

27. James A. Garfield

Texture: A broomstick.Shape: All the houses in the Shire.Overall Score: 5.1His salt n' pepper crumb catcher has been setting trends since 1881, fools.
Pres. James Garfield, Picture taken circa 1870–1880 / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: A broomstick.

Shape: All the houses in the Shire.

Overall Score: 5.1

His salt n' pepper crumb catcher has been setting trends since 1881, fools.

26. George Washington

Texture: Squirrel's tail.Shape: Mushroom.Overall Score: 5.2If you want to be taken more seriously, pair a Founding Father's wig with some lace. End of story.
digitalgallery.nypl.org / Via digitalgallery.nypl.org

Texture: Squirrel's tail.

Shape: Mushroom.

Overall Score: 5.2

If you want to be taken more seriously, pair a Founding Father's wig with some lace. End of story.

25. William Howard Taft

Texture: Back hair.Shape: Sleep mask.Overall Score: 5.4You just cannot compete with his handlebar 'stache and his middle-parted hair.
William Howard Taft, 11 March 1909, Library of Congress / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Back hair.

Shape: Sleep mask.

Overall Score: 5.4

You just cannot compete with his handlebar 'stache and his middle-parted hair.

24. Bill Clinton

Texture: A towel.Shape: Sloth-like.Overall Score: 5.3Bill's hair literally does all the work for him. It grows upward with strength and stamina.
Bill Clinton, 1 January 1993, Bob McNeely / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: A towel.

Shape: Sloth-like.

Overall Score: 5.3

Bill's hair literally does all the work for him. It grows upward with strength and stamina.

23. James Polk

Texture: Bean paste.Shape: A coonskin cap.Overall Score: 5.4Only a badass could pull off a receding hairline AND a mullet.
James Polk, 14 February 1849, Brady, Mathew B / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Bean paste.

Shape: A coonskin cap.

Overall Score: 5.4

Only a badass could pull off a receding hairline AND a mullet.

22. Millard Filmore

Texture: Fake plant.Shape: Tablecloth.Overall Score: 5.5He gets high marks for creating a completely original hairstyle. It's like half-circle, half-square.
Millard Fillmore / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Fake plant.

Shape: Tablecloth.

Overall Score: 5.5

He gets high marks for creating a completely original hairstyle. It's like half-circle, half-square.

21. Herbert Hoover

Texture: Crumpled up silk.Shape: Bottle cap.Overall Score: 5.2Seems to be the most popular 'do. If Herbert Hoover's hair had a twitter it would be trending right now.
Herbert Hoover, circa 1928, Underwood & Underwood / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Crumpled up silk.

Shape: Bottle cap.

Overall Score: 5.2

Seems to be the most popular 'do. If Herbert Hoover's hair had a twitter it would be trending right now.

20. Thomas Jefferson

Texture: Yarn.Shape: A pile of dirty laundry.Overall Score: 5.3Only the finest goat and horse hair for this man!
Thomas Jefferson - by Stuart / NYPL / Via digitalgallery.nypl.org

Texture: Yarn.

Shape: A pile of dirty laundry.

Overall Score: 5.3

Only the finest goat and horse hair for this man!

19. Franklin D. Roosevelt

Texture: 6-day-old leg hair.Shape: Small forest.Overall Score: 5.4Cool Guy Stan.
Franklin D. Roosevelt, 27 December 1933, Elias Goldensky / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: 6-day-old leg hair.

Shape: Small forest.

Overall Score: 5.4

Cool Guy Stan.

18. Richard Nixon

Texture: Pug's hair.Shape: Tom Selleck's mustache.Overall Score: 5.5Yes, we noticed the pattern. Everyone loves some good hair gel.
Richard Nixon, circa 1973, White House / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Pug's hair.

Shape: Tom Selleck's mustache.

Overall Score: 5.5

Yes, we noticed the pattern. Everyone loves some good hair gel.

17. Jimmy Carter

Texture: If you gathered all the hair on a salon floor and then touched it.Shape: The side of a hawk.Overall Score: 5.6Except for this guy! Kept it au naturale.
Jimmy Carter, Department of Defense / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: If you gathered all the hair on a salon floor and then touched it.

Shape: The side of a hawk.

Overall Score: 5.6

Except for this guy! Kept it au naturale.

16. Harry S. Truman

Texture: Oil painting.Shape: Caterpillar.Overall Score: 5.6He looks like a picturesque president with his pocket square and his delightful little glasses.
Harry Truman, circa 1945, Frank Gatteri / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Oil painting.

Shape: Caterpillar.

Overall Score: 5.6

He looks like a picturesque president with his pocket square and his delightful little glasses.

15. Ulysses Grant

Texture: Carpet.Shape: A garden before the vegetables have grown.Overall Score: 5.7An all-around solid look. I feel like this is what Justin Timberlake might look like when he's good and ripened.
Pres. http://U.S. Grant, between 1870 and 1880, Brady-Handy Photograph Collection / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Carpet.

Shape: A garden before the vegetables have grown.

Overall Score: 5.7

An all-around solid look. I feel like this is what Justin Timberlake might look like when he's good and ripened.

14. Zachary Taylor

Texture: Old noodles.Shape: Birds nest with bird in it.Overall Score: 5.8I like that he probably just rolled out of bed that morning and was like "What's up, I'm the President, bitches."
Zachary Taylor, circa 1850 / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Old noodles.

Shape: Birds nest with bird in it.

Overall Score: 5.8

I like that he probably just rolled out of bed that morning and was like "What's up, I'm the President, bitches."

13. Rutherford B. Hayes

Texture: Kale.Shape: A cartoon nose.Overall Score: 6He could've totally chewed gum in class and would've gotten away with it. That beard could win prizes these days.
Rutherford B. Hayes, Circa 1870-1880 / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Kale.

Shape: A cartoon nose.

Overall Score: 6

He could've totally chewed gum in class and would've gotten away with it. That beard could win prizes these days.

12. George H. W. Bush

Texture: Sheets.Shape: The bottom of a thimble.Overall Score: 6.3His hair looks like a sweet grandpa's.
George H. W. Bush, circa 1989, N/A, likely POTUS / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Sheets.

Shape: The bottom of a thimble.

Overall Score: 6.3

His hair looks like a sweet grandpa's.

11. Barack Obama

Texture: Teddy bear.Shape: Upper half of the Earth.Overall Score: 6.5The most sophisticated buzz cut this world has ever seen.
Barack Obama, 6 December 2012, Pete Souza / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Teddy bear.

Shape: Upper half of the Earth.

Overall Score: 6.5

The most sophisticated buzz cut this world has ever seen.

10. William Henry Harrison

Texture: Real fur coat.Shape: Leaves.Overall Score: 6.7It's like 50 Shades of Grey hair color.
William Henry Harrison, 1841, Albert Sands Southworth, Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Real fur coat.

Shape: Leaves.

Overall Score: 6.7

It's like 50 Shades of Grey hair color.

9. James Buchanan

Texture: Dandelion seeds.Shape: A flame.Overall Score: 7He's like the original Harry Styles, but fancier.
Hon. James Buchanan, ca. 1860 - ca. 1865, Mathew Brady / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Dandelion seeds.

Shape: A flame.

Overall Score: 7

He's like the original Harry Styles, but fancier.

8. Benjamin Harrison

Texture: A doily.Shape: Bikini top.Overall Score: 7.5I'm biased, he reminds me of that adorable old man who made Jurassic Park from that mosquito stick.
Benjamin Harrison,1886, Adam Cuerden // restoration, Pach Brothers / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: A doily.

Shape: Bikini top.

Overall Score: 7.5

I'm biased, he reminds me of that adorable old man who made Jurassic Park from that mosquito stick.

7. George W. Bush

Texture: Tumbleweed.Shape: Waves.Overall Score: 7.5'Tis the definition of a coiff.
George Bush, 14 January 2003, Eric Draper / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Tumbleweed.

Shape: Waves.

Overall Score: 7.5

'Tis the definition of a coiff.

6. Ronald Reagan

Texture: Hairspray.Shape: Queen Amidala's hat.Overall Score: 8The whole thing just works. It's structured. It's tidy. It's like a royal crown but made out of hair.
Ronald Reagan, 8 Apr 1983 / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Hairspray.

Shape: Queen Amidala's hat.

Overall Score: 8

The whole thing just works. It's structured. It's tidy. It's like a royal crown but made out of hair.

5. James Monroe

Texture: Bruce Jenner's hair.Shape: Pipe.Overall Score: 8.4Who doesn't love a man who can rock a good pony?
James Monroe, Durand, Asher Brown, 1796-1886 -- Engraver, NYPL / Via digitalgallery.nypl.org

Texture: Bruce Jenner's hair.

Shape: Pipe.

Overall Score: 8.4

Who doesn't love a man who can rock a good pony?

4. Abraham Lincoln

Texture: Hair that hasn't been washed in two days.Shape: Umbrella.Overall Score: 8.5This man was for sure one of those babies who was born with an absurd amount of hair. Just with like, an abundance of hair follicles.
Abraham Lincoln, 8 November 1863, Alexander Gardner / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Hair that hasn't been washed in two days.

Shape: Umbrella.

Overall Score: 8.5

This man was for sure one of those babies who was born with an absurd amount of hair. Just with like, an abundance of hair follicles.

3. Andrew Jackson

Texture: Polar fleece.Shape: Carrot.Overall Score: 9.2No amount of mousse on this planet could make my hair that voluminious.
Andrew Jackson, 15 April 1845, Edward Anthony / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Polar fleece.

Shape: Carrot.

Overall Score: 9.2

No amount of mousse on this planet could make my hair that voluminious.

2. Franklin Pierce

Texture: Finely-knitted sweater.Shape: Tree.Overall Score: 9.9This dude knew how to work a perm, am I right or am I right?
Portraits / NYPL / Via digitalgallery.nypl.org

Texture: Finely-knitted sweater.

Shape: Tree.

Overall Score: 9.9

This dude knew how to work a perm, am I right or am I right?

1. John F. Kennedy

Texture: Perfect.Shape: Perfect.Overall Score: Perfect.Best hair of all-time.
John F. Kennedy, February 20th 1961, White House Press Office / Wikimedia Commons / Via en.wikipedia.org

Texture: Perfect.

Shape: Perfect.

Overall Score: Perfect.

Best hair of all-time.

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