21 Signs You’re Obsessed With Olive Garden

“When you’re here, you’re family.” You know, if your family charged you to binge eat and then talk about how full you are afterwards.

1. You put your health at risk to have the most enjoyable meal of your life.

2. You’ve called the restaurant more than you call most of your family members.

3. You’ve already planned out your funeral and Olive Garden is a part of it.

4. You find daily tasks more difficult to complete when Olive Garden is on your mind.

5. You’ve accepted the fact that you have to be rolled out to the car after dinner.

6. You use Olive Garden as the solution to all your personal problems.

Hearing 16 year old guys give sound advice like, "Bruh, take your chick to Olive Garden. Girls love breadsticks." I mean, he's not wrong...

— Dallas Osborn (@DallasSF)

7. You actually consider the idea of loving and caring for a breadstick for an uncomfortable period of time.

.@olivegarden because you're a chain restaurant and breadsticks cannot stroke your cheek as you drift off to sleep

— sir broosk (@celebrityhottub)

8. You use their commercial as a scale to measure your feelings.

I'm happy but I'm not Olive Garden commercial happy.

— Dane (@ProfaneDane)

9. You’re serious about the Olive Garden slogan.

If when I'm at Olive Garden I'm family the next time I go there I'm going to not pay my bill and I'm gonna ask to borrow $1,400.

— Upset Tummy (@upsettummy)

10. You feel 100% comfortable letting loose in the presence of fake grapes.

Got kicked out of Olive Garden for getting my salad tossed under the table

— miss charades (@ShockTartBionic)

11. You become sexually-charged after entering into the lobby of an Olive Garden.

Once, just once, I'd like to walk into an Olive Garden without someone yelling "Oh God He's Got An Erection"

— A Random Him (@arandomhim)

12. You have no problem dining there by yourself, even during the most romantic holidays.

I'm bringing my Xbox to Olive Garden for Valentine's Day. Referring to it as baby girl and caressing the controller as a pretend-hand.

— Jordan Payton (@LEGIQN)

13. You’re on the lookout for a potential lover at Olive Garden.

Lady, you accidentally made eye contact with me, so don’t act surprised when I unzip my pants. This must be your first time at Olive Garden.

— Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn)

14. You’ve established a love-hate relationship with it and find yourself spending more and more time discussing it.

Another long night of leaving comments on the Olive Garden Facebook page, stirring up trouble just to feel alive again

— Brendan O'Hare (@brendohare)

15. You have no trouble asking members of the staff for help or favors.

My Olive Garden waitress refused to spit my pasta into my mouth. When you're there, you're family. Just not a bird family.

— Matt Fernandez (@FattMernandez)

16. You’ve thought about Jesus and Olive Garden together at least once.

what if the last supper was actually judas feeding cheese sticks to jesus through a glory hole in an olive garden restroom

— Goth Mom (@gothmomjeans)

17. Maybe twice.

I like to picture Jesus as a young but promising Sous chef at Olive Garden whose Moroccan-inspired linguine has won him critical acclaim.

— Scott Powell (@SC0P0)

18. You feel incredibly optimistic about your love life after you think about Olive Garden.

I have a 25 dollar gift card to Red Lobster OR Olive Garden left over from Christmas. Ladies, this is the year. Be ready.

— Jeremy Smith (@JeremyInKC)

19. You accept the fact that this fine establishment rules your life choices.

I'd get Olive Garden bread tattooed on my arm but I'd probably end up eating it tbh.

— . (@Rachet_princez)

20. You figured out the secret to healthy eating is, in fact, Olive Garden.

Olive Garden is the only place where I get excited to eat salad.

— Captain's Log (@howe007)

21. Finally, you get married at Olive Garden.

Like, they really got married at Olive Garden.

— Jazmine Moreno (@jmorenoooo)

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