30 Things To Remember If You’re The Big Powerball Winner

In honor of the historic powerball jackpot, here are 30 things to keep in mind if you’re the big winner.


This might be your first reaction.

2. You might look like this.

3. Always trust in ya spirit guides. They’re freaking out for you too.

4. You’ll probably be shitting your pants in excitement.

5. When asked if you’re the $600 million winner:

6. You might tear up. It is overwhelming.

7. But even if this is your reaction, you deserve to party.

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8. So shake yo thang. Like this guy.

9. Just be sure the victory is set in stone before you get too excited

10. Take a hit in the name of victory. After all, you are rich enough to own your own drug cartel.

11. Love every second.

12. Take your friends on a shopping spree.

13. Watch out for the ratchet hoes be comin outta the woodwork tryin ta get atcha $$$

14. Shrug it off. You’re HALF A BILLIONAIRE.

15. Let those bitches know who’s boss

16. Remember anyone who ever did you wrong.

18. Buy the Highclere Castle. ‘Cause you can.

19. Be the king of the castle.

20. Do this. Just because you can.

21. Remember that guy you liked who never gave you the right time of day?

22. Yeah, well tell him yo ain’t got time fo him.

23. Throw some bills his way. So he can pay for some cheap woman to keep him warm at night. Gotta do the right thing.

24. Don’t let any biotches talk bad about you and your big win. Oh hell no.


26. Invest in some new business ventures.

27. So you don’t end up at your old job.

28. Don’t rub it in too much.

29. Grow old and enjoy life like this lady. She’s doing it right.

30. And finally, remember: you probably have a better chance of being hit by a runaway golfcart than winning $600 million, so live wisely.

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