Chrissy Teigen Said She's In A "Grief Depression Hole" After Defending Meghan Markle Against A Journalist Who Criticised Her For Speaking About Her Miscarriage

    "I am in a very dark bubble and incapable of expressing what is happening and doing the best I can."

    Chrissy Teigen has shared that she's in a "grief depression hole" and is avoiding Twitter after defending Meghan Markle against a journalist who criticised her recent essay about her miscarriage.

    Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

    On Wednesday, Meghan published an essay where she revealed she'd had a miscarriage in July, and described the "unbearable grief" that she and Prince Harry had endured in the hope it would help others to "share their pain".

    Anwar Hussein / EMPICS Entertainment

    In the essay, Meghan described feeling a sharp pain while holding her 18-month-old son, Archie.

    "After changing his diaper, I felt a sharp cramp," she wrote. "I dropped to the floor with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the cheerful tune a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right. I knew, as I clutched my firstborn child, that I was losing my second."

    "Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand," she added. "I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over. I tried to imagine how we’d heal."

    While the essay was received positively by many who praised Meghan for her bravery in sharing her experience, there were still some people who criticised her for speaking publicly.

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    In response to the criticism, one Twitter user said that people should be more mindful of the effect their words might have on those who have experienced miscarriages or the loss of a baby.

    Meghan Markle won't see the all of the nasty shit you write about her but your friends who have experienced miscarriages and the loss of a baby will.

    And that's where journalist Marco Giannangeli came in. He responded to this tweet criticising Meghan for writing "a 1,000 word op-Ed about herself" and questioning its value.

    @PaisleyThomson Is anyone really questioning the pain and sheer awfulness of suffering a miscarriage, or are they perhaps criticising Meghan’s decision to write a 1,000 word op-Ed about herself? What does it add to the resources already available for those who go through a tragedy like this?

    And after seeing the response, Chrissy immediately retweeted it alongside a message of her own. "Award for today's absolute piece of shit goes to Marco Giannangeli," she wrote. "Congratulations, piece of shit."

    Karwai Tang / Getty Images

    Chrissy very quickly deleted the tweet, and followed up with another saying: "Sorry forgot I'm trying to be nicer lol."

    Chrissy's defence of Meghan comes just two months after she shared her own personal account of losing her third baby, whom she and husband John Legend had named Jack.

    Frazer Harrison / Getty Images

    After suffering numerous pregnancy complications that eventually led to her being hospitalised, Chrissy announced on Instagram in October that she had lost her baby.

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    "We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we've never felt before," Chrissy wrote alongside a series of devastating photos of herself with John and their son in hospital.

    "We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions," she added. "It just wasn't enough."

    And after defending Meghan, Chrissy told her followers that she was struggling with her own grief.

    "I'm not tweeting much because I'm honestly in a bit of a grief depression hole," she wrote. "But do not worry as I have so much help around me to get better and I'll be fixed soon."

    I’m not tweeting much because I’m honestly in a bit of a grief depression hole but do not worry as I have so much help around me to get better and I’ll be fixed soon. they’ll call when im better and ready for pickup and u can swing by and grab me ok? thank u and love you!

    And after she was criticised by a Twitter user who suggested that using the term "fixed" was "condescending" to those experiencing depression or grief, Chrissy opened up more and explained that she felt "broken".

    "I am in a very dark bubble and incapable of expressing what is happening and doing the best I can," she wrote. "I feel broken and all I know is the opposite is fixed. I know it isn't that easy but it's all I can think of at the moment."

    @shcro1 I am in a very dark bubble and incapable of expressing what is happening and doing the best I can. I feel broken and all I know is the opposite is fixed - I know it isn’t that easy but it’s all I can think of at the moment. Did not mean to offend.

    Earlier this week, Chrissy and John sat down for their first joint interview since losing Jack in which she thanked the public for their "beautiful" support of both of them.

    Good Morning America

    "I have thousands of letters written to me," Chrissy told Good Morning America. "Obviously it's so painful to go through something like this as a woman — something that was inside your body that you were nurturing. But obviously there's a father involved, and the support for the both of us has just been so beautiful. So incredible."

    Ellie Woodward is Celebrity and Entertainment Editor for BuzzFeed UK and is based in London.

    Contact Ellie Woodward at ellie.woodward@buzzfeed.com.

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