People Angrily Tweet At United Airlines Parody Account Thinking It's Real, Parody Account Hilariously Responds

"We allow you to exchange worthless paper for the opportunity to ride a missile across the world."

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1.

This @unitedairlanes flight crew is incompetent can't load the; plane horrible service

Robert Gillespie

@nffc65

This @unitedairlanes flight crew is incompetent can't load the; plane horrible service

. @nffc65 You should see our crews load a t-shirt bazooka though - Ralfio can in seconds. He can even hit business class from the cockpit!

United Airlanes

@unitedairlanes

. @nffc65 You should see our crews load a t-shirt bazooka though - Ralfio can in seconds. He can even hit business class from the cockpit!

2.

@unitedairlanes is the true meaning of cattle class. Delays with no explanation. Food you should feed to the dog and staff that don't care!

Sarah Dobson

@sarahlouisedob

@unitedairlanes is the true meaning of cattle class. Delays with no explanation. Food you should feed to the dog and staff that don't care!

@sarahlouisedob Oh shit, did you eat the food? You're not supposed to actually eat the food.

United Airlanes

@unitedairlanes

@sarahlouisedob Oh shit, did you eat the food? You're not supposed to actually eat the food.

3.

For those following I am stuck still at #Buffalo @unitedairlanes thanks for trying to fight the weather. You are doing well!

Michael Soncina

@sonchyADV

For those following I am stuck still at #Buffalo @unitedairlanes thanks for trying to fight the weather. You are doing well!

@sonchyADV Here at United Airlanes, we strive to not let a little thing like the fury of God prevent us from delivering tolerable service.

United Airlanes

@unitedairlanes

@sonchyADV Here at United Airlanes, we strive to not let a little thing like the fury of God prevent us from delivering tolerable service.

4.

it amazes me that after all the advancements in planes these days @unitedairlanes still has the worst entertainment system known to man!!!

Alex Glaser

@alexglaser101

it amazes me that after all the advancements in planes these days @unitedairlanes still has the worst entertainment system known to man!!!

@alexglaser101 It's a missile made of gun metal traveling at fast through space there are few amenities available inside a giant bullet

United Airlanes

@unitedairlanes

@alexglaser101 It's a missile made of gun metal traveling at fast through space there are few amenities available inside a giant bullet

@unitedairlanes then why have all of the other airlines managed to do it?

Alex Glaser

@alexglaser101

@unitedairlanes then why have all of the other airlines managed to do it?

. @alexglaser101 They strike deals with purveyors of black magic. We strive to fly 100% curse-free, and pass the savings on to you!

United Airlanes

@unitedairlanes

. @alexglaser101 They strike deals with purveyors of black magic. We strive to fly 100% curse-free, and pass the savings on to you!

@unitedairlanes ur full of shit, and a fucking piece of shit airline, that's it, end of story.

Alex Glaser

@alexglaser101

@unitedairlanes ur full of shit, and a fucking piece of shit airline, that's it, end of story.

. @alexglaser101 Next time you fly United Airlanes, whisper "GRASSY KNOLL" to your attendant to be taken to the in-flight shooting range.

United Airlanes

@unitedairlanes

. @alexglaser101 Next time you fly United Airlanes, whisper "GRASSY KNOLL" to your attendant to be taken to the in-flight shooting range.

5.

@unitedairlanes lost my brothers carseat. Y'all suck

Jacob A. Moreno

@GodJamit_0216

@unitedairlanes lost my brothers carseat. Y'all suck

@GodJamit_0216 In our defense, it's really comfortable. If a bit small.

United Airlanes

@unitedairlanes

@GodJamit_0216 In our defense, it's really comfortable. If a bit small.

6.

Shout out to @unitedairlanes for stranding my wife at YWG for nearly 12 hour for a short flight to Chicago. Excellent service.

Conor Whately

@ConorWhately

Shout out to @unitedairlanes for stranding my wife at YWG for nearly 12 hour for a short flight to Chicago. Excellent service.

. @ConorWhately After the first six hours, she technically belonged to us. You're just lucky we met our monthly quota.

United Airlanes

@unitedairlanes

. @ConorWhately After the first six hours, she technically belonged to us. You're just lucky we met our monthly quota.

7.

The @unitedairlanes staff at Gate C8 in @Dulles_Airport are a complete disrespect #news

Bruna Payne

@BruPayne

The @unitedairlanes staff at Gate C8 in @Dulles_Airport are a complete disrespect #news

@BruPayne Count your blessings. At JFK they throw knives.

United Airlanes

@unitedairlanes

@BruPayne Count your blessings. At JFK they throw knives.

@unitedairlanes is that supposed to be funny? @JetBlue for one takes tweets regarding their company serious. Might want to take some tips...

Bruna Payne

@BruPayne

@unitedairlanes is that supposed to be funny? @JetBlue for one takes tweets regarding their company serious. Might want to take some tips...

@BruPayne @JetBlue No, it's a very serious warning. We accidentally hired bounty hunters to run that desk and now we can't stop them.

United Airlanes

@unitedairlanes

@BruPayne @JetBlue No, it's a very serious warning. We accidentally hired bounty hunters to run that desk and now we can't stop them.

8.

@unitedairlanes how is it that you are the most expensive airline and yet don't have TVs on planes. Get with the program! #notv #longflight

Pap Artist

@DROOOPYD

@unitedairlanes how is it that you are the most expensive airline and yet don't have TVs on planes. Get with the program! #notv #longflight

@DROOOPYD TV? On a plane? We allow you to exchange worthless paper for the opportunity to ride a missile across the world. How dare you.

United Airlanes

@unitedairlanes

@DROOOPYD TV? On a plane? We allow you to exchange worthless paper for the opportunity to ride a missile across the world. How dare you.