1. "What are you up to these days?" "Oh, being a meanie crime poet."

2. Thank you for telling us what kind of hands you have.

Via w.baike.com
3. A chill death metal jam band?

4. Whoa there.

5. Stop fishing for compliments!

6. Me bite too.

8. Cryptic review of Babe 2: Pig in the City.

9. I would actually get this.

10. This one too.

Via sports.qq.com
11. This one not so much.

12. I would name my baby this.

Via bbs.tiexue.net
13.

16. I guess this could be a legit broke-pride tatt.

17. I think Shawne Merriman meant it to sound tougher than this.

18. All right, Marat Safin.

19. This sounds like a level in Diablo II.

20. Sure thing, Sean May.

21. Duuude...

22. I wasn't sure what it was.

Via plchinese.com
23. Ew.

24. At least it's free?

25. Does not take kindly to the divine mortgage crises.

26. Great lifestyle brand.
