On Tuesday, the GOP Convention brought us many things.
They speakers at the RNC are getting crazier and crazier
Which left a lot of people wondering how Wednesday was going to stand out, particularly compared to past conventions.
1992: "It's time for them to go" 2000: "Help is on the way" 2008: "Yes we can" 2016: "Lock! Her! Up!"
And past speakers.
When you don't score the big RNC invite this year
And noticeably missing speakers.
RNC: "George, can you come say a few words in support of Donald?" George W. Bush:
And a most unusual lineup.
A live look at the RNC podium...
Florida Governor Rick Scott started the night off.
the speaker lineup is huge tonight
Followed by conservative talk show host Laura Ingraham, who fired up the crowd but really needs to work on her waving game.
Did she just... https://t.co/NkPy2dypCP #RNCinCLE
No, but seriously.
I did Nazi this coming. #RNCinCLE
NOTE: Yes, these photos are amusing, but it's obvious that neither Trump nor Ingraham were purposefully giving the Nazi salute, and it's silly to act like this was anything other than a chance of photographic timing.
Next up was former astronaut Eileen Collins.
Former astronaut: "We landed on the moon to fulfill a leadership challenge" https://t.co/7ieKWkHQmL #RNCinCLE https://t.co/yMpXOrTUAh
Which, as some pointed out, may have been a pretty big step for the party.
I’m pleasantly surprised to discover that the RNC at least accepts we landed on the moon.
(Although it turned out to be only one small step for Trumpkind.)
There was a Donald Trump endorsement of the prepared text of Eileen Collins' prepared text, but she didn't actually say it out loud.
Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker then took the stage.
it looks like scott walker is shouting into an empty field
America in 2016: shouting "radical Islamic terrorism" like it was "wheel of fortune"
Walker says he wouldn't give Hillary his iPhone password,which makes sense when you've got this kinda stuff on there https://t.co/zlpGpKq84e
And he came prepared.
During my speech tonight at #RNCinCLE, when I say "Why?" feel free to answer "Because America Deserves Better!"
Sadly, nobody else in the audience got the memo.
You deserve better because America deserves better because you deserve better because America deserves better because you deserve better
And to make matters worse, Donald Trump initially tagged THE WRONG Scott Walker in his tweet thanking the Wisconsin governor for his remarks.
But this brave reporter rose to the call...
RIP, my mentions.
And cheerfully made the best of the sudden interest in his Twitter feed.
Since @realDonaldTrump just congratulated ME on a great speech, here's our response. #wrongscottwalker
Next was Florida Sen. Marco Rubio.
Marco Rubio endorses Donald Trump, who he once called a "con artist."
Who delivered his speech with a certain lack of emotion.
Marco Rubio Hostage Videos dot Tumblr dot Com
BUT THEN it was time for Texas Sen. Ted Cruz.
I got a copy of Ted Cruz's prepared remarks for tonight's #RNCinCLE
And, uh, in case you forgot, Cruz and Trump have a bit of history.
Trump ridiculed this man's wife's looks & suggested that his father had a hand in JFK's assassination.
Quite a lot of history, actually.
TRUMP: Cruz's wife is ugly TRUMP: Cruz's dad helped kill Kennedy CRUZ: ... [45 DAYS LATER] TRUMP: Speak at this primetime slot CRUZ: OK
And Cruz actually delivered one hell of a speech — and the RNC audience agreed!
Dear GOP, you could have this guy. Instead you went with Cheeto Jesus who is going to get eaten alive by Yes We Canckle.
Until it became very clear that he wasn't going to use the platform to endorse Donald Trump.
This is amazing. Cruz just like...
Welp.
Donald Trump watches Ted Cruz’s #RNCinCLE speech 👀 | 📷: Getty Images
Here are the boos as Cruz refuses to endorse Trump: #RNCinCLE
#StayWoke
you know who else delivered a cryptic, coded message without an endorsement
But Cruz seemed to roll with it.
Ted Cruz response just now to GOP leaders begging him to endorse Trump:
Exit Cruz, pursued by base
Cruz was up there like Starrkeisha… #petty
Live look at Ted Cruz.
That was the Ted Wedding
Hey, at least the Democrat nominee liked the speech!
Vote your conscience. https://t.co/xahMq2sU1q
live cam of @HillaryClinton during end of ted cruz speech
Next up was the spare of the Trump dynasty, Eric.
"The plan is simple: kill the Batman"
And he tried his best.
Eric Trump looks amazing at #RNCinCLE
(Bless his heart.)
Poor Eric Trump. Dad isn't listening to a word he's saying. Too busy plotting Ted Cruz's death.
Then it was time for Newt Gingrich.
Newt Gingrich: Here’s A Nightmare Scenario Of Terrorist Attacks. Vote For Trump! https://t.co/xGkzBv0xaj
Who heroically tried to take back everything that had happened in Cruz's speech.
gingrich: I think you misunderstood what te- cruz [walking back on stage]:
Cruz: Boooooooooo Newt: As my friend Ted Cruz said, Boo-urns! https://t.co/ZJEAcCmdQd
And then, VP nominee Mike Pence had his moment.
“Governor Pence was born in Columbus, Indiana, one morning, when I believe lightning struck a jar of mayonnaise.” #ColbertRNC
I'm sorry I just can't get over this
"Donald Trump has an utter lack of pretension." -Mike Pence #RNCinCLE
As Chris Christie watched on from the audience.
Here's Christie watching Pence accept the VP nomination
But, hey! At least Trump seemed to like it.
.@realDonaldTrump joins @GovPenceIN on stage after his speech 🇺🇸 😘
Sort of.
Replay of Trump fake kissing Pence
Maybe?
when ur saying goodbye to a tinder date who u have no intention of ever seeing again
At the end of the night, even Jerry Springer had to weigh in.
The RNC Convention is just a parody of my show. Even the chanting. This is not how we run a country!
(Friendly reminder that tomorrow's theme is "Make America One Again.")
If a "unified" RNC is this much of a gong show, man, I'd spend big on pay-per-view to see what an "non-unified" one looks like
See y'all tomorrow!
RNC Convention recap: Night 1: Plagiarism Night 2: "Lock her up" Night 3: Murder Ted Cruz Night 4: ???? Bonus Night: Profit???