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    • ellecee

      I was a server at an Irish pub in suburban Philadelphia. We bordered between casual & fine dining - fairly extensive menu & bar options, but the staff wore tee shirt. Any former server will get the atmosphere.
      So one Sunday night, around 8:15, a woman in her 60’s came in. Her 40-ish year old daughter was parking the car, so she asked to be sat a table for two. I sat her a two-top table, gave her the menus & asked if she wanted something to drink - she said no. I guess her daughter came in to the pub. I was bringing table bread, but didn’t see the women at the table I sat them at. They moved to another table, in another section (that was closed) to be closer to a stage we had in the dining room. And of course, it was a four-top. Seeing as the dining room was empty, it wasn’t a big deal & I let them stay. They ordered drinks - the older woman ordered an iced tea & the daughter asked for a “red wine” - I asked her what she’d like “we have a Cabernet, Pinot Noir, Merlot…” “I want a red wine” I should have realized then I wasn’t dealing with the most cultured of palettes. After saying I enjoy our house Pinot Noir, she settled on that. I came back with drinks and asked if they were ready to order. They said no. I gave them a little more time. When I came back, the daughter complained she didn’t really like the wine (despite drinking it & getting her pink lipstick all over the glass) and she wanted an ice tea. I apologized, got the iced tea & asked again “ready to order?” they said yes. The older woman ordered a soup, then wanted a salad - a typical order. I asked all the important questions: soup first then salad? yes. and the larger, dinner salad? yes. okay. her daughter ordered a salad, then a bacon wrapped scallops appetizer. Typical light dinner order. So the order goes it, & when ready, I come back with the appetizers. The woman yells her daughter’s salad is out too early. Didn’t quite understand. but the daughter said she’d hold on to it. So then the dinner salad & small plate of scallops is ready, I walk out with them on the tray and the women look OFFENDED. The woman starts yelling at me that she was NOT ready for the salad. “What don’t you understand?” She then explained to me that at home, she makes her first course, then starts to cook the second, eats the second, then cooks again… “Okay, well, I put a course break with your order, the dinners just came out…” she yells at me “WE HAVEN’T EVEN ORDERED DINNER!” Mind you, it’s Sunday night, they’ve sat here for an hour, and the dining room is empty. Confused as hell, I ask what else they want. The daughter demands to see a menu & asks I take away her bacon wrapped scallops until she eats her salad (has been untouched this whole time). I explain, I will put an order in before our kitchen closes at 10pm, however, if I bring the scallops back, they will just sit in a hot window. They stare DAGGERS at me. I bring the scallops back and explain this to the kitchen. I said they can charge me for the scallops, if they make a new plate on the fly when I come back. If there’s one thing a kitchen loves, it’s re-doing orders 45 minutes before closing. So, when I come back, the women are ready for their dinner order. Now they have menu questions - “What is aioli? What’s in a shepherd’s pie? Do they have to use beer batter with the fish and chips?” and they ask the dreaded questions “what are your specials?” - ladies, at 9:30 Sunday night, there are no specials. Old waitress trick - I apologize we sold out, they want to know what it was. So they eventually order & I ask the daughter if she would still like her scallops. She said yes. Order goes in, I plead with the kitchen to take their time & I bring the new scallops out. I set up camp watching these women eat. Out of the corner of my eye I see another waitress with my order, doing a good deed for me, but I try to explain how the situation. The mother sees the tray of food and screams across the (empty) dining room “NNOOOO!!!” Fed up, I bring the food to the kitchen, stick it in the hot window and say screw it - they don’t want the food hot & fresh, they can have it lukewarm & dried/soggy. Approaching the table, I again get the “I eat one thing first, then the other…” speech from the women. The daughter also complains there were not enough scallops. Not until every leaf of salad is finished, I clear the plates & bring the dinner. The women take their time, eat their meal, and finish. Mentally exhausted, I ask if they would like anything else. They ask if we have ice cream, I explain we have vanilla (typically for dessert garnish or children) and they scoff and said they’d rather eat at home. So I bring them the check. The older woman LAYS into me about how AWFUL their dining experience was - I didn’t bring them water (they didn’t order) I rushed their meal (they sat for 2 1/2 hours) the bread was stale & cold (it was Irish soda bread - we don’t serve it warmed), the glass of wine, scallops (the one order) and “expensive salad” was still on the bill and there was no live music (there was no advertised live music Sunday… we only have music on Friday/Saturday nights.) They demanded a discount. Defeated, I took the check, gave it to my manager & explained. He knocked 5% off as a manager’s discount & delivered it to the table. The women complained again & said something to my manager, which I didn’t hear, because I was crying over the first order of scallops in the kitchen. When he ran the credit card & had them leave, he saw they left me no tip. At the same time, the owner was coming in to close up. The servers and bartenders submitted our checks to him to tally. He caught the tail end of my debacle with these women and when I explained that I not only made no tip, but I had to pay him for their discount and grat-ed scallops, the Irish owner of the pub promptly met them at the door & told the women to never dine in his restaurant again till they learn how to dine-out. “Feck’em”

    • ellecee

      why do all these anxiety and over-thinker posts always talk about “you CONSTANTLY worry over social media statuses”
      like what about people who actually worry about real things … am I making enough money to sustain my living situation, am I putting enough effort into my job, am I happy with what I’m doing, what if the business shuts down next month? what if something horrible happens to an aging family member, am I currently harboring some illness or ailment that I don’t realize … my brain could careless about “what did his tinder message mean?” but is more a constant stream of irrational fears and anxieties.

    • ellecee

      How come you can have one of these for Cinco de Mayo but not St. Patrick’s Day, which is a Catholic saint’s day, traditionally a day where alcohol sale was not permitted & to be recognize Christianity being brought to a region and the compassion of a man who wanted to teach religion.
      No, let’s take that day & put up 100 tips on how to drink alcohol, wear green, get in bar fights & how to degrade an entire ethnicity and culture. Yeah, how quickly we forget the Irish faced social hardships, stolen land, persecution for their heritage, and also gave the world tons of culture and literature. Nope. All the Irish know is being drunk, wife beating and ginger hair - at least according to all the “St. Patty’s” swag you can buy in March.

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