21 Things Growing Up In A British Seaside Town Teaches You
Let's hit the waves, beaches.
Seagulls are the enemy.
The same people put the same deck chairs, in the same spots, every damn day.
People always assume your home town looks like this:
But in reality, it's more like this:
Years of seeing them everywhere mean you're a sucker for a tacky souvenir.
You feel emotional whenever you walk down the grotty old high street.
You don't understand why anyone would spend money renting a beach hut.
You know the best place to have a picnic is your car.
Even though you love the summer, the tourists that come with it are the worst.
You own a special pair of these, and you don't care what that says about you.
And you're very partial to your good, old pac-a-mac.
Years of swimming whatever the weather mean you're now fully immune to even the coldest of seas.
Every foreign tourist will ask if you love jellied eels.
In fact, sticks of rock, doughnuts, and those bizarre candy dummies are the main local speciality.
As a teenager, if you wanted to go out, you had to do with a dad-dancing nightclub.
But nothing cures a hangover quite like a greasy breakfast at the pier cafe.
You're the most competitive person in the penny arcade.
And you learned the hard way that sex on the beach isn't as fun as it sounds.
You also know that bingo is still very much a thing.
And that just because a B'n'B advertises itself as having a "sea view", it doesn't actually mean it does.
And finally, whenever you tell people where you live, they usually say something like, "Oh, yeah, my mum wants to retire there!"
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