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Paid PostPosted on Jun 5, 2015

12 Things That Would Definitely Happen If You Scored On Tim Howard

Just the facts.

Imagine: You get the chance to shoot on Tim Howard.

You release the shot...

...AND IT GETS BY HIM!!

Here are some things that might immediately happen as a result.

1. The sun would explode.

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Scientifically, when you score on Tim Howard, it has been proven that the sun will immediately explode.

2. Sandwiches everywhere would be free.

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It is a known fact that when you score on Tim Howard, the world will declare a Free Sandwich Day, and people everywhere will thank you.

3. Mountains would move.

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Check out that one mountain — it's all over the place!

4. People everywhere would embrace.

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Strangers, friends, enemies, babies, co-workers, bosses, people in the same restaurant... Literally everyone everywhere.

5. A new star would form.

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It would be awesome and look a lot like this very scientific picture of what is obviously a new star.

6. This local man would catch a catfish with his bare hands:

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And he's not even a fisherman! He works in finance!

7. Every caterpillar would become a butterfly at the exact same moment.

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And the butterflies would form a heart in the sky! The BIGGEST butterfly heart you've ever seen, and also the fewest caterpillars you've ever seen!

8. All the world's dolphins would do a simultaneous jump.

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"WE LOVE YOU, PERSON WHO SCORED ON TIM HOWARD!" —dolphins

9. Every person on Earth would simultaneously do a choreographed dance.

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And it would be BRAND-NEW choreography, not just some dance everyone remembers from the '90s.

10. We'd all be able to fly down stairs.

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See ya later, walking!

11. A unicorn would reveal itself.

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Dope!

12. And summer would last forever.

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Hope you like your bathing suit, 'cause you're gonna be wearing it for the rest of time!

It's also possible none of this will happen, but something even better might! For a chance to score against the hero himself, enter the el Jimador Tequila Your Shot at $1 Million Promotion.

If you manage to score a goal on Tim Howard, you'll move on for a shot at winning up to $1 million.

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. You must be at least 21 years of age and a legal resident of the United States of America to participate. Promotion void wherever prohibited or restricted by law.