We hope you love the products we recommend! Just so you know, BuzzFeed may collect a share of sales or other compensation from the links on this page. Oh, and FYI — prices are accurate and items in stock as of time of publication.
1. Some cat-eye sunglasses to warn everyone in your path that you're a total badass.
2. A hot dog phone case because you cackle in the faces of people scared of street food.
3. A killer faux-leather dress you'll wanna live in...then be buried in.
4. An LED sipper cup for looking like a fucking mermaid...no matter what you're sipping.
5. An anything-but-subtle holographic eyeshadow palette that makes a high-impact statement on any skin tone.
6. A cheeseburger you can lounge on at the beach, music festivals, your living room floor...whenever you damn well please.
7. A metallic firming face mask to transform you into a glam killer robot.
8. A villainous off-the-shoulder dress that might give someone whiplash.
9. A set of faux septum rings for adding some pain-free versatility to your personal brand.
10. The only motivational gym tank you'll ever need.
11. And some customized tights to rev up your look.
12. A metallic bodysuit and coordinating metallic jacket for elevating all your looks to 11/10.
13. An insulated lunchbox that tells your coworkers that neither you, nor your lunch, is to be fucked with.
14. These shorts that have everything...a high waist, belt, faux-leather finish, and studs galore.
15. A rose-gold spinner necklace with a rude AF message that some people just need delivered.
16. An Alaska Thunderfuck 5000 shirt that won't keep strangers from second guessing your death drop abilities.
17. A male tears mug to sip from as an intern mansplains your job to you in a meeting.
18. Anything mesh, like this shirt or this other shirt or this other other shirt...and preferably with little to nothing underneath it.
19. And some metallic ankle boots that were def made for walkin...even if you have wide feet.
Shopping for something specific? Check out BuzzFeed Reviews to find the best things for every budget!
Reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.